SNAF U
by isko
Summary: Yukino is now a 20 year old college sophomore. She's taken a more active role in her family without neglecting the friends she's made. In a sense, Yukino has found her place. But an incident, a misunderstanding, will put her on a path that will ultimately lead her to make a choice between friendship, love and family. Yukino-pov. YukinoX8man.
1. Chapter 1

I feel sick. I double over and pant. I feel like crying but I don't. I've embarrassed myself enough. In front of me, Hikigaya-kun looks worried. He raises his hand and tries to tell me something, but drops it reluctantly as I send him a glare. I turn my back away and look at the gutter, I try my best to hold back what I'm feeling. I feel a hand touch me tentatively on my shoulder.

"Yukinoshita..."

"What?" I choke out.

I grit my teeth and close my eyes. I try my best to ignore everything around me and concentrate...

"Yukinoshita, hey..."

Hikigaya-kun grabs me by my shoulder and turns me around, his worry now even more apparent. I look at his eyes in appeal and I lean my head on his chest, unable to help myself, I try to say something, but no words come out.

XXXXxxxxxXXXXxxxxxXXXX 

"I'm sorry." I look at him apologetically.

"It's nothing I can't wash off." He shrugs.

Hikigaya-kun is looking down at his pants, tissue in hand, wiping away bits of my dinner. I feel dizzy but considerably better so I try to offer my help but he shoos me away with a gesture.

"Let's drop by my place later, I'll wash your pants." Did I just say that?

"It's late Yukinoshita, it'd look bad if I go to your place at this hour..."

"But I feel responsible. Besides, it's not like you haven't been seen there before. We probably won't come across anyone we know, or just anyone, at this hour. My place is closer than yours and you're not exactly fit for travel. It's fine, Hikigaya-kun..." I put a hand on my head and lean against the wall. I could hear my pulse beating loudly in my ears and I close my eyes as a wave of nausea hits me.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine. So how about it?"

"Okay, I guess. I'll take you home at the very least."

"You don't have to go home once we get there. You can sleep in my apartment."

He gives me a look.

"I hope you're not thinking what I think you're thinking." I give him a halfhearted glare.

"That I'll be sleeping on the sofa?"

"Good. Anyway, where's Yuigahama-san?"

"I think she's in the bathroom with Miura. You sure you're okay?"

I give him a reassuring smile.

"Fresh air helps. Though in this part of the city, I'm not quite sure if we're getting any. Anyway, I should be fine. I've developed quite the tolerance, drinking socially in events I attended one after another this year and the year before. More importantly, what was that green colored drink?" I frown. Remembering the smell alone was giving me an urge to spew out whatever's left in my stomach.

"Absinthe. The rough kind. Tobe brought it. He got it from a senpai from work. He said he wasn't planning on letting any of the girls drink it, but Yuigahama apparently found it near the table leg and decided to use it when you girls ran out."

I groan. We were drinking at a considerably fast pace. We were on our 4th cocktail pitcher, with 6 of us girls drinking, that is if you count Sensei as one, and they didn't last long. I had to drink more than my fill as did Miura-san and Yuigahama-san since both Isshiki-san and Ebina-san were not tolerant of alcohol. We were drinking something pineapple flavored, it tasted good and was easy on the throat, but because of that I wasn't able to moderate my drinking. It didn't help that Yuigahama-san had the tendency to keep looking at our table to make sure everyone's glasses was filled. Since I could not stomach drinking something that isn't cold or watered down too much, I usually drank my shot quickly.

Yuigahama-san was talking about a place where she and Miura-san went to when she stopped abruptly to announce that the drinks were gone. I closed my eyes in relief and leaned back against the sofa. Not a minute later, Yuigahama-san calls my attention, holding my glass containing some green colored concoction. She smiles and laughs, saying something about me losing to her when it comes to drinking. I clink my glass to hers for a toast and drink mine in one gulp to prove her wrong. The burn as it went down my throat had me gasping and in less than 5 seconds I could taste bile on my throat. I ran straight out.

"I thought it was apple flavored..." I suppress a shiver.

"Heh, you're all idiots. The smell should have given you a clue at least, also, don't you usually drink cocktails slowly? That pitcher didn't last long."

The backdoor suddenly opens and the sound of muffled singing and music spills out. Miura-san takes a step outside and looks around then closes the door.

"Hey, like, are you okay?" she looks at me with concern.

"I'm fine Miura-san, how's Yuigahama-san doing?"

"She's okay, she didn't swallow the stuff, she spat it out in the bathroom. I told her to wait in the room and that I'll check up on you. Anyway, Hayato was pretty worried you know, have you ever heard of alcohol poisoning?" she frowns at me with her hands folded beneath her chest.

"I'm aware and I do know my limits." I turn towards the door and focus on walking in a semi-straight line. "I'll be leaving early Miura-san, if you don't mind. I'm done for the evening, I'll just let Yuigahama-san know."

I hear her sigh but she doesn't protest.

"That's fine. We'll probably head out a bit later anyway."

We both walk inside, the sound of laughter and singing greeting us. I turn around to close the door behind me but stop when I see Hikigaya-kun still outside, bent over and wiping.

"Hikigaya-kun?"

"Yeah, I'll just wait outside. We're leaving together right? I don't want to get caught in another stupid argument with Zaimokuza or Sensei. And I stink too. Tell them goodbye for me."

He waves and I glare at his back as I close the door. I turn around and walk together with Miura-san.

"Hey, it's none of my business whatsoever but, what's the deal with you and Hikio?"

I look at her, somewhat surprised. She checks up on me and now wants to gossip? Ever since we resolved her request back when we were 2nd years, Miura-san and I have had a, not exactly friendly but, more civil relationship. And over the years, we've been having conversations that didn't devolve into insults and taunts, at least most of the time. Also, if I remember correctly, it was Miura-san who suggested to Yuigahama-san to invite me to this get together. Does she think of me as a friend I wonder? I wouldn't really mind if she did.

"Well...I guess one could say that we're friends." I need to be consistent after all.

"What kind of answer is that? Whatever."

I sigh and shrug in response. It's complicated and I'd rather not talk about it in detail. Though ironically, out of all my acquaintances, Miura-san is probably the only person I can talk about this comfortably.

"It's just that you two seem to spend a lot of time together. It's suspicious." She says it offhandedly, but I can tell that she's curious.

"Yuigahama-san spends as much, if not more, time with him. You should be asking that question to her."

That said, Yuigahama-san spends a lot more time with me than Hikigaya-kun. All things considered, Hikigaya-kun and I rarely spend time together alone. It's always with Yuigahama-san and with the rest. It's just that, when we gather, we tend to gravitate towards one another. In a group like ours today, Yuigahama-san would naturally be close to Miura-san and others, whereas Hikigaya-kun and I would prefer each other's company outside of Yuigahama-san, though Totsuka-kun does take a lot of his attention.

Miura-san was walking more slowly, so I turn to look. She stares back at me with a confused and worried expression. It seems like the thought of someone like Yuigahama-san associating with "Hikio" in a not so platonic way has never crossed her mind.

"They're just friends. Don't worry." I felt apologetic for some reason. As expected of Hikigaya-kun. Just talking about him can cause awkwardness.

We turn a corner and walk until we reach our booth. Miura-san opens the door and we both come in and close the door behind us.

"Yukinon!"

Yuigahama-san is sitting on her spot waving. Beside her is Ebina-san laughing and encouraging Tobe-kun, who looked to be in a pretty bad shape. Hayama-kun looks at us and shrugs helplessly. Isshiki-san is cheering beside him. Zaimokuza-kun is sitting across, laughing loudly while downing another drink, Totsuka-kun laughing and cheering him along. It looks like the boys are playing a drinking game. And Sensei is standing up singing Enka of all things. I frown at her disapprovingly.

"Yo, Yukinoshita. What happened to that deadbeat boyfriend of yours?" she cackled mid-song.

I ignore her and approach Yuigahama-san.

"Yukinon, you okay? You ran out pretty fast."

"Yes, I'm fine. You?"

"I spat it out in the bathroom." She makes a face and pulls out her tongue."Yuck. Sorry about that Yukinon, but it was all mostly Tobecchi's fault!" She points to her left.

"Behh, Seriously? Like you should be more careful with what you put in your glass you know. I didn't put it on the table for a reason."

"Then you should've hid it better!"

"Well, Tobe-kun doesn't really matter." I interrupt and wave at his general direction.

"Ehh!? What!?"

"Yuigahama-san," I continue. " this was a very enjoyable party and I'm grateful you invited me, but I'm going to have to cut my stay short. Hikigaya-kun will be leaving with me."

"Eh? You and Hikki? But it's still..." She looks at her watch. "Woah, it's almost midnight. Where's Hikki anyway?"

"Outside, waiting. He's cleaning himself up. "

"Cleaning?"

"He... had an accident. Nothing to worry about." I smile innocently.

"Erm, what do you mean by accident? I'm worried... Um, anyway, are you sure you want to go home? Travelling at this hour isn't safe. We should all go together. Sensei promised to drive us all home but..."

We both glance at Sensei.

"We'll take care of her. If it comes to it, Hayato can drive us home." Miura-san pipes in.

"Oh, okay! Just wait a little longer then Yukinon! Let's go home together!" Yuigahama-san grabs my hand.

"But..." I hesitate. I want to go home, my head feels like a melon, I don't want to see Sensei humiliate herself further, but I don't want to disappoint Yuigahama-san.

"Let her be, Yui. She drank too much and she needs to rest. Besides, Hayato needs to sober up too if he's driving. That might take a while."

I frown at Miura-san and she smiles and winks back. How annoying. It seems like there's a misunderstanding here. Yuigahama-san squeezes my hand.

"I'm sorry Yuigahama-san. But I'm done for the night."

"Ohh..." she looks at me sadly and my heart clenches. "Well... Yukinon, if you want to go first that's fine. It's late too so I guess it can't be helped." She stands up and waves at everyone. "Guys! Yukinon and Hikki are gonna leave first."

"Ehh? Senpai will?"

"Gefun gefun, where is he? Hachiman!? How dare he leave his comrade!"

"Nooo! I need my HayaHachi ending! Stay here Yukinoshita-san! Get out Hayama-kun, you guys can go home together, you're not needed here."

"Hina, shut up."

Miura-san glares at Ebina-san while Hayama-kun laughs it off.

"Ha ha, Yukinoshita-san, I can give you and Hikigaya-kun a ride if you wait a bit. It shouldn't be a problem. Much safer that way too."

I shake my head.

"No, thank you. I don't want to impose. Hikigaya-kun and I can just take a taxi. I'll call Yuigahama-san when we arrive, don't worry."

"Ah, maybe I should go with you too." Totsuka-kun suggests but Hayama-kun turns him down.

"Your place is a bit too far Totsuka, taking a taxi might be expensive. Besides, I can drop you off directly at your dorm, it isn't too far from where I'm staying. Better if you go with us."

"Ah, I suppose. Take care on your way then, Yukinoshita-san. Hachiman too. Where is he anyway?" He frowns and looks at the door.

"He's outside." I answer. "I better not keep him waiting. Thank you again, everyone, I had a great time. We'll see each other again next time." I wave.

"Wait! Hachiman! He can't leave without my blessing!"

"Make sure to return that where you picked it up." I point at Zaimokuza-kun as I turn towards the door.

A chorus of goodbyes come from the group as I walk out, Sensei adding hers loudly on the mic.

"Ah, I'll walk you out." Miura-san comes to me and offers with Yuigahama-san following and attaching herself to my arm.

"Let's go! Thanks for coming Yukinoon, it's really fun having you guys here. Are you really feeling well though? You went really white when you drank that shot in one gulp!"

"I'm a bit dizzy. And my head is starting to ache. But I'll be fine once I rest."

We reach the front door exit and we find Hikigaya-kun standing near the street. He waves at us and points at a waiting taxi a few meters ahead with a questioning nod, I nod back. He walks towards it and goes in, I follow.

"Byebye Yukinon! Byebye Hikki! Make sure Yukinon arrives safe! Good night!" Yuigahama-san waves and I wave back.

"Don't even think about doing anything I wouldn't do, Hikio." Miura-san glares at him and nods at me.

"Good night Yuigahama-san, Miura-san. Thank you again for inviting us. " I nod back.

"Yeah, thanks. Good night Yuigahama. Miura too." Hikigaya-kun leans forward and waves.

I close the door and slowly turn the window down, I stop halfway and wave again.

"Is it okay to leave the windows open?" I ask the cab driver. I wanted fresh air. I still feel a bit nauseous, and being inside an enclosed taxi will most likely not help. Hikigaya-kun will appreciate it too. Since his clothes are probably starting to smell.

"S'fine. So, where to?" The driver asks.

I let Hikigaya-kun answer the driver for me. I turn and look at Yuigahama-san and Miura-san as we pull out the driveway. I wonder when the next get together will be. As tired as I am now, I look forward to the next time we all meet.

xXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXx

 **AN**

Unbeta'd. Not sure I'm happy with the chap's pacing but I'm uploading it anyway so that I can motivate myself to continue. I'll try to update regularly. Writing cause I need practice basically, so don't expect too much. I honestly still don't know where this fic is heading, but I'm totally okay with that. It's kinda fun. Reviews are appreciated, send me msg for typos or whatever.


	2. Chapter 2

I open the door and step out carefully. I walk towards the entrance of my apartment building and take a peek at the lobby. As expected, there's one security guard sitting in reception but no one else is loitering. I hear the taxi door close behind me followed by Hikigaya-kun's footsteps.

"How much was it?" I take out my wallet.

"It wasn't much. It's fine." He holds his hand up in a gesture for me to stop. "It's not like we travelled far."

This again. I sigh and walk in. Letting him do as he please. He's always had this classic sense of chivalry and he shows it occasionally. I've learned that it's pointless to argue. Besides, it's nice to be treated this way from time to time.

I push the door forward and the guard looks at me and smiles in greeting, I nod back. He then turns his attention on Hikigaya-kun, looking him up and down. I walk towards the elevator, Hikigaya-kun following closely.

"Hey, that guard keeps staring at me." he whispers.

"I suggest you keep your hands where he can see them Hikigaya-kun."

"What, I'm getting arrested already? Haven't even done anything yet."

"So you were planning something..." I wrap my arms around my chest and lean away in mock horror.

"Too many witnesses, I'll try next time. Anyway, I think I might just head back out. You don't have to wash my clothes for me, I don't really mind."

I stop and turn towards him, I then look at his clothes. The stains weren't obvious on his pants because he was wearing dark colored jeans but there were also marks on his shirt that stood out.

I shake my head no and give him a stern look.

"It's really late and we already agreed you'd stay here for the night. I told you earlier that I felt responsible, didn't I? I'm not letting you go home with those stains on your clothes and smelling sour."

"I'll just take a cab, and like I said, it doesn't really bother me.."

"It bothers _me_." I place my hand on my forehead, feeling my head ache. "Let's just say I'm doing this for self-satisfaction." I throw his own words back at him.

"I... fine. Lead the way."

We reach the elevator and I press the UP button. The doors immediately open and we both go in. I then press my floor number. The doors close and we slowly ascend. We wait quietly for the elevator to reach our floor.

When the elevator opens, we step out and I take out my phone. I dial Yuigahama-san's number as we walk towards my door. The phone rings several times but then I get the dial tone. I look at the screen and frown.

"Who're you trying to call?"

"Yuigahama-san. I promised I'd call once I get home. She's not picking up."

"Maybe she didn't notice, try again later."

I put my phone back and take out my keys, I then open the door and step in.

My apartment, a place I have always thought of as bland, actually looks appealing for a change. The familiar smell of mild aerosol welcomes me and brings me comfort. The promise of rest just a few steps away.

"I'm home." I say with relief.

"Welcome home." Hikigaya-kun answers with a sigh.

I pause and look at him askance.

"... what was that?"

"Oh, must be my house husband reflex." he says with a grin.

What a useless thing to have. I ignore him and take my sandals off and place them on the corner. I then walk towards my room, turning the kitchen light on along the way.

"Wait for me a bit." I call out just before I close the door behind me.

I decide to change first before looking for clothes for Hikigaya-kun to change into. I take my blouse off followed by my jeans. I remove my bra for comfort and choose a beige-colored woolen sweater to wear from my closet. The v-neck collar was a bit large but not, I think, dangerously so. I adjust it to make sure it isn't too revealing. I find a cloth skirt to go with it.

I then search around for something unisex that would fit Hikigaya-kun. I find a white shirt that might fit him, I look around some more and eventually find a pair of jogging pants. I take them out. This would have to do.

I go out of my room and find Hikigaya-kun in the dimly lit living room, sitting on the sofa.

"Hikigaya-kun?"

"Yeah?"

"Take your clothes off."

He looks at me calmly.

"Aren't we going a little too fast?"

I smile and throw my jogging pants and shirt at his face.

"Change into those."

I go into the bathroom and splash water on my face. The coldness of the water dulling my headache and refreshing my senses. I then go back out to check on Hikigaya-kun, he wasn't finished dressing yet so I take a seat and wait.

"Um, could you not sit there looking at me while I'm undressing? It's kind of embarrassing." He frowns at me while he pulls one leg out of his pants.

"It's nothing I haven't seen before." I recall the gaming club incident. He hasn't really changed all that much. Though it does look like he's leaner, but that might be just a trick of the light. "Don't worry Hikigaya-kun. Your chastity is safe, no one will ever take it from you."

"That was totally," he puts his head through the shirt collar. "unnecessary just now."

"Give it here." I get closer and offer my hand. He folds his pants and shirt and hands them over.

"Thanks."

"There's no need for that, this is my fault in the first place. I'll just go downstairs to wash this." I hold them before me, carefully avoiding the stains. "I won't be long."

"Okay, I'll just wait here then. Can I use your phone by the way? I need to call home."

"Sure."

I go inside my room first to grab my phone, I then go out and ride the elevator. On the first floor, I walk towards the end of the hall where the laundry room is located. The door is closed but luckily it isn't locked so I open it. Inside I see half a dozen large washing machines lined up on one corner, a supply cabinet beside stacks of baskets for the tenants to use along with 2 microwave dryers on one side and a long table on another. I head for the supply cabinet and look for detergent. After finding a box, I choose a machine and turn it on. I don't have trouble using the machine, I have been living alone for years, so I made sure I could do basic everyday chores like laundry and cooking. I put the clothes in and make sure the right amount of water and soap follow. I then set it to wash for 30 minutes.

I take out my phone and dial Yuigahama-san's number again. She answers in her typical energetic way on the second ring.

"Yahallo Yukinon!" I hear singing in the background but her voice is loud enough to be clear.

"Hello, Yuigahama-san." I smile with affection.

"Did you get home safe?"

"Yes, I arrived just a few minutes ago. How are things on your end?"

"Ahhh, well... there's a bit of a problem..."

"What is it?"I ask with concern.

"Well," she lowers her voice. "Hiratsuka-sensei started weeping all of a sudden after you left, and she's like really drunk now, you know? She was drinking with the boys too you see. And now she keeps mumbling about going home with a man and stuff. Sai-chan and I are doing our best to cheer her up, but the others aren't really helping," she sighs wearily. "but honestly, she's so depressing I feel like crying myself, uhhh..."

Oh, Sensei. I'm glad I left then. If I were there, I think I'd have made it worse.

"She's just being herself, Yuigahama-san. Don't mind her. Remind her she's an adult and that she should act like one." I advise coldly.

"Ehh? That's like adding water to the fire."

"Fuel." I auto-correct. Well, water does make fire flare up if you add only a splash in some cases so she's not exactly wrong.

"Y-yeah, anyway, it's really troubling you know? Hayama-kun said he's doing something about it, but he's just sitting there texting. Ohhh, I don't know what to do..." she moans.

"Don't worry too much about it. A problem is only a problem if you make it one. Anyway, it's really late. You and the others really should be heading out soon."

"Ohh, yup. We're not ordering drinks anymore. Hayama-kun says he's okay now, the others are just singing karaoke. So we'll be going home in a bit I think." she says in a more cheerful tone.

"That's good." I say with a smile.

"Well, um, Yukinon, it's a bit troublesome now, but I really had fun you know. So, um, we usually do this on Fridays right? With Yumiko and the others. But this time we couldn't. But it's really fun with more people, you know? Even with Chuuni-kun and Sensei. Hikki and Sai-chan came too. So, uh, I know you're busy, but if we do it on a Saturday, would you come with us again?" she asks hopefully.

"Of course." I smile warmly. "All you need is ask, Yuigahama-san. I can even make myself available on Fridays if you want."

"Oh! That's great! But don't you have major big subjects on Friday? You always look busy when we meet..."

"Major subjects, but yes you're right. I can manage though. Taking a break every now and then would be good for me. It's not like I have trouble keeping up, I could still get a good score even if I stop going."

"Hehh, you're just boasting now... Well, I'm glad you can hang out with us more! hn hn~" she sounds happy, and if she is, then I am too.

"Well, I shouldn't keep you. You go home soon okay?"

"Okaaaay. Thanks again Yukinon! Byebye!"

"Goodbye, Yuigahama-san."

I hang up and check on the washing machine's timer, not much time has passed. I head back to my apartment.

When I arrive, I see Hikigaya-kun in the kitchen looking around.

"Oh hi, do you have coffee Yukinoshita?" he scratches his cheek while checking the contents of a cupboard.

"You're not going to sleep?"

"I can't. When I lie down, I start feeling sick. Maybe coffee will help."

"I doubt it." I mutter. Coffee doesn't really help alleviate the effects of alcohol. This is a common misunderstanding. But some people like Hikigaya-kun might get something from it.

I step inside the kitchen and open the cupboard just beside Hikigaya-kun. I keep a can and make coffee whenever I have late night work to do. I get it and hand it over. I go over to the fridge and grab the condensed milk, which was still mostly full in its container since I don't usually use it. I hand it over as well.

"Oh, thanks, I was just about to ask that."

"I know."

"You can read minds now huh."

I let out a small laugh.

"You're just predictable. Would you like something to eat as well?"

"Well, I wouldn't mind, do you have instant ramen?"

Coffee and ramen? Odd combination.

"I don't buy that junk." I scoff. "How about a sandwich?"

"It's not junk." he sighs. "But yeah, that sounds good."

I open a drawer containing cups and mugs, I take out one and hand it over to Hikigaya-kun. I hesitate for a second, but decide to take out my mug as well. Might as well keep him company. Besides, I was starting to feel hungry. No surprise considering what I did earlier.

"Could you make enough for two?" I point at the electric kettle and hand him my mug.

"Aye aye."

I take out 4 slices of bread from its container on the kitchen counter, I then open the fridge to take out the other ingredients.

"I have ham, cheese, and peanut butter as well. What would you like?" I call out.

"Just ham please."

I gather the ingredients and make the sandwiches. I decide to add slices of tomato and cabbage to improve the taste. I then take the plates to the kitchen table where Hikigaya-kun is waiting with the coffee. I place a plate in front of him and I sit across. He passes me my mug.

We sit in silence for a few seconds, holding our mugs. The smell of coffee permeating my apartment. I blow at my coffee and take a small sip. The coffee tasted a bit sweet, but not too much, I guess he was being considerate.

"So, did you give Yuigahama a call yet?"

"I did a while ago, they were getting ready to go home I guess, Sensei was moping though."

"Not surprising."

"How about you? Were you able to inform your parents?"

"Well, I told Komachi." He sighs. "If you get any emails from her, feel free to ignore them."

I chuckle, I'll check my phone later.

He then looks at his sandwich and picks it apart, he puts the tomato slices aside and takes a bite.

"What are you, a kid?" I glare at him.

"Hm?"

"Eat that." I look at his plate.

"I don't want to. It's not like eating them is going to make me considerably healthier. Also, we were just out drinking. If I force myself to eat something I don't like, I'll just feel worse." he shrugs and takes another bite.

"Ugh, fine." I breathe out in exasperation.

I put my mug down and rise from my seat, I lean forward to take a slice and put it in my mouth. I reach for the second one but stop. I look up at Hikigaya-kun and frown. He was staring at his sandwich, unmoving. His mouth slightly open. He looks stunned.

I tilt my head curiously and look at the sandwich. Is there something wrong with it I wonder? Is the ham spoiled? I bought it last week, but I did keep it in the fridge. I didn't notice anything wrong with its color. Is it the bread?

"Hikigaya-kun? Are you okay?" I ask with worry.

He jerks and blinks rapidly. He looks at me and swallows, his cheeks turning slightly red.

"Ah... Uh... Yeah..." he fidgets in his seat.

"What is it?"

I lean back on my seat and pick up my sandwich. I take a small bite. It tastes normal.

"It's nothing... really... I was just thinking about something." he shakes his head and rubs his hand over his face. How odd.

"Tell me." I continue eating, my stomach approving.

"Nah, it's really stupid." his voice sounded rough so he grabs his mug and takes a drink, gulping loudly.

"So? Isn't it always?" I act confused.

He grunts and continues eating, ignoring me.

I sigh and give up. I finish my sandwich and start on my coffee. We both stay quiet, feeling no need to break the silence. I start to relax and feel at ease. In front of me, Hikigaya-kun does the same, sipping coffee from time to time, staring blankly at something beyond me. Probably thinking about something silly. If it were Yuigahama-san here, it would've been a lot livelier. But I'm not complaining. Who was it that said it? A person you can share silence with is someone special. And I guess that is what he is, special. In more ways than one.

A knock on the door brings me out of my reverie and I frown. Hikigaya-kun and I share a look and I turn towards the entrance. The person behind the door knocks again and I glance at the clock on my kitchen wall, it's a quarter past midnight.

"Could it be the guard downstairs?" he asks wondering.

It was my thought as well. Maybe he noticed the machine running in the laundry room and went up to ask me about it? But isn't he overstepping his duties if he did?

"I'll go get it." I stand and walk quietly towards the door, I hesitate in opening, if I pretend to be asleep maybe he'll just give up.

The knocking continues.

I sigh and twist the door knob, I open the door slightly and take a peek. Who I see causes me to jerk back in surprise.

"Hi, Yukino-chan!"

 **AN**

huh... not sure how deep I am in OOC territory right now. I don't think there's anything more I can do with this chap. I do kind of have direction for the fic now, but I still have no idea what to do with the fkin title. btw, thanks for the reviews guys, appreciate em.

ralphsiegler As for what happened in between the main story and this fic... I'm going to try and write about it in some way, like incorporate it in a monologue or something. I just don't want to write about it in detail, since vol 12 is going to come out in more or less 2 months, I don't want to write something that becomes immediately impossible or improbable once 12 gets translated.

Also, I am working on the assumption that Watari gives us the genuine friendship ending sort of thing. So they're all aware of what they felt 2-3 yrs ago, but realize that a romantic relationship isn't really something they absolutely needed at that point, so they just stayed friends. I kinda feel like there's a very big chance that this'll happen.

Lolsebca/dragonballaca yeahhh, lemons, that was actually my original intent. I wanted to write a lemon fic oneshot of Yukino and 8man. I just couldn't do it because I felt it was way too OOC. I tried making it longer, by adding a prelude of sorts, or a first chapter, to give it sense. I played with the drunk sex or one night stand idea, but then realize that they both wouldn't let it go that far. So yep, that's sort of one of my goals, I'm just taking the scenic route to get there. If I ever get there that is.


	3. Chapter 3

"...Nee-san." I greet reluctantly.

She smiles at me cheerfully and gives the door a push. The door moves forward but I block it with my feet. She raises her eyebrow at me.

"I'm about to sleep, as you can see. Why are you here?" I smile back.

"So cold Yukino-chan! Well, that's understandable I guess, did Nee-san ruin the mood in there?" she leers.

"What are you talking about?" I scowl, annoyed. How does she know?

"Playing innocent are we?" she laughs. "A little bird told me about this party you see. A party I was not invited to, I might add. And, well, this little bird happened to let me in on some juicy gossip pertaining my little sister and I just couldn't resist." she makes another push at the door, I stop her.

I look her up and down. She's wearing a red cocktail dress and heels. She also has light make-up on. She probably came from a party herself. So inviting her would have been pointless. Ever since she graduated, Nee-san has been busy attending social events one after another, lobbying for our father. I even had to tag along in some of those events myself, forced by mother. Since Nee-san was acting more independently, exploring her options, mother was now focusing her attention on me.

"You haven't answered my question. Why are you here?" I ask again.

"Isn't it obvious? I'm playing my role as the big sister." she pouts. "You're not doing your part pretty well."

"Oh, I think I'm doing fine." I grin fiercely.

"Yukinoshita, there something wrong?" Hikigaya-kun calls out from the kitchen. I then hear the sound of a chair being moved followed by his footsteps.

I click my tongue and turn around, I try to answer him but I stumble back and hit the wall as Nee-san pushes through the doorway by force.

"Hikigaya-kun, what a surprise!" she smiles brightly at him, waving her hand in greeting.

He stops short and looks at Nee-san with a stiff expression, he doesn't reply.

"Ohhh, you guys sure know how to make a girl feel welcome." She gives each of us a look. "Don't worry, I won't be staying long. Though I must say, Hikigaya-kun, I was expecting you to wear something more..." she looks him up and down. "exciting."

He sighs and looks at her apathetically.

"I'm not the naked apron type. Sorry."

She raises her hand to her mouth and giggles.

"You really are the best, Hikigaya-kun."

"Yeah," he shifts his attention to me. "I'll be in the living room."

He nods at Nee-san and turns around. Nee-san watches him go, smiling, until he reaches the corner and disappears.

"So. Why is he here?" she then turns to look at me with a serious expression.

I sigh and put my finger on my temple. I was used to her shifting moods, but sometimes, it can really be a bother. I look at her and try to explain.

"It was getting late. I didn't want him to travel at this hour. Also..." I trail off. I'd rather not talk about vomiting all over him.

"Is that all there is to it? Hmm? How boring." she takes a step closer. "You do know that's not what it looks like?"

She raises her hand and finger. She looks down, lowers her hand and slides her finger down my cleavage.

I startle and take a step back. Heat rising up my face, tinting my cheeks red. I look down and adjust my collar back to how it should be.

"A man and a woman go to a party. The woman gets drunk. The man takes her home. The woman asks him to stay. I don't have to tell you how this story ends, do I?" she says, her voice low and husky.

"That's not always the case." I protest.

"Maybe, but does it matter? It's what usually happens. And it's what people usually think." she shakes her head in mock despair. "Yukino-chan, you were doing so well too. Frankly, I'm disappointed in you."

"What do you mean?" I answer, irritated.

She folds her hands under her chest and gives me an exasperated look.

"You know father has people here working for him do you? Of course you do. It's common sense, would he let you live on your own completely without supervision? Not likely, considering what he does and who he is."

"The guard downstairs..."

"Maybe, maybe not. It doesn't really matter. People talk. He'll find out sooner or later. What do you think he'll do once he does?" she smiles and flicks her hair to the side. "What would mother do?"

My skin turns cold and I feel a lump form inside my throat.

"You'd tell her?"

"No. Of course not. I'm on your side, Yukino-chan! At least for now."

I run my hand through my hair and breathe out. I lean on the wall and thump my head.

"I'm not doing anything wrong anyway. I have nothing to hide. I'll just tell them the truth when they ask." I explain, but I hear Nee-san laughing softly.

"Nothing to hide huh, funny you'd say that. Does Gahama-chan know he's sleeping over?"

I frown. I try to recall our conversations.

"See, Hayato tells me Hikigaya-kun escorted you home. He said nothing about him spending the night here." she laughs behind her hand. "You're so cute, Yukino-chan. You should be more honest to yourself."

"You're reading too much into it. I'll just tell Yuigahama-san. There won't be any misunderstanding between us." I say with confidence.

"Of course. Of course. I was just teasing." she gestures dismissively. "I really did just come here to check up on you. Anyway, I should probably be going, I still have to take care of Shizuka-chan."

"Please go, Nee-san. And hurry. " I rub my forehead and sigh. "They can't leave without you there."

"Fine. But before I go, let me add just one last thing." she looks at me in the eye. "Just because you're an adult now doesn't mean you get to do whatever you want. You can't afford to be careless. That's a luxury we don't have." She then taps her finger on her chin. "You know, maybe they won't find out about this, that would be great. But if they do, I don't think things will go as easy as you think they will."

"I already know that." I mumble.

"That's good then. Say goodbye to Hikigaya-kun for me." she waves and walks out the door.

I close the door behind her and sigh. I feel worried but resigned. I know I should have foreseen this, but I acted based on my conscience and not on consideration. I don't feel any regret.

I head towards the living room and I find Hikigaya-kun standing just behind the corner. He looks away sheepishly.

"You were listening?"

"Um, yeah, sorry."

I give him a scornful look and check the time. Slightly more than 30 minutes has passed since I started the machine downstairs.

"I'll go downstairs to get your clothes."

I turn around and exit my apartment. I go down to the laundry room and take the clothes out. I decide not to use the dryer, to save myself another trip downstairs. I go back and hang the clothes in the bathroom instead.

I walk into the living room and I find Hikigaya-kun sitting on the sofa playing with his phone. I take a seat on the chair next to him.

"Your clothes are in the bathroom, hanging."

"Oh, thanks..." he gives me a worried look."Um, about your parents..."

"It's nothing you should worry about." I interrupt.

"No, but it is. I'm the cause of the problem here."

"That's not it. I threw up on you. If I hadn't..." I shrug.

"I made you turn around and face me. Remember?" he points out.

"But then I forced you to stay over." I rally.

"I let you." he counters.

I stare at him and he stares back.

"... what are we doing?" I tilt my head.

"Er, arguing about who gets the blame?"

"Okay," I nod. "you can have it then."

"Now wait a second..."

I chuckle. I close my eyes and relax on my seat. My worries gone for the time being. It's pointless to keep thinking about it anyway. At this point, we don't even know if there'll be a problem.

"You don't have to worry about me." I tell him."I'll take care of it. I'll make sure you don't get involved."

"...what are you talking about?"

I open my eyes in surprise at his tone. I turn towards him and he glares at me. He looks tense and he sounded a bit angry.

"It's not just your problem. It's mine too. Don't just take me out of the equation. We'll both take care of it."

His outburst is followed by silence and we sit there just looking at each other, until finally, he turns away.

"...and what would you do? Are you willing to talk to my parents?" I smile, touched by his rebuke.

"Uh, If I have to." He scratches his head.

"Not so confident after all huh..." I mumble. But that's fine. His support is more than enough.

I stand and stretch, feeling better. I decide to prepare for bed.

"I'm going to brush my teeth. You should too. I've got an extra toothbrush you can use."

"Oh, good idea. My mouth still tastes like coffee. I'll just buy you a clean one after I use yours."

Mood forgotten, I lead him to the bathroom and open the medicine cabinet beside the mirror. Inside, there's a mug with 3 pairs of toothbrushes and behind it, a toothbrush still in its container. I take it out and hand it over. I then get my toothbrush.

"Who uses the other two?"

"That's Yuigahama-san's and Nee-san's." I explain. "Yuigahama-san frequently stays over, so she decided to leave a few of her things behind. Nee-san's is there just in case."

I grab a tube of toothpaste from the cabinet and use it, I then pass it over.

Turning the faucet on, I wet my toothbrush and start brushing, Hikigaya-kun doing the same. I then look at the mirror in front of me. In it, I looked worn-out. My complexion a bit pallid. My hair was a bit of a mess and my sweater hung a bit too loosely on my shoulders, the v-neck collar showing more skin than I thought. Beside me, Hikigaya-kun looked worse. His shoulders were slumped, his hair was all over the place, and his eyes looked even more rotten than usual. We were brushing in sync. We looked like a young married couple, tired and just off from work.

I turn away from my reflection, banishing the thought. My heart clenching. Fantasies like that can be dangerous.

I finish first and I clean my toothbrush. I bend down to wash my mouth and face. When I look at my reflection, I see Hikigaya-kun behind me staring fixedly at something. I follow his gaze to my collar. I frown angrily and use my hip and elbow to shove him out of the bathroom, he stumbles with a protest. All men are pigs.

I finish up and go out. I glare at him as I pass him by.

"Shorry! I cahnt helph it, Haym a guy!" He makes a hopeless gesture.

I ignore him and go inside my bedroom to take a pillow from my closet. The one Yuigahama-san usually uses when she stays over. I grab a blanket as well. I hand them over to Hikigaya-kun after he finishes. I then watch him settle himself on the sofa.

"If there's anything else you need. Don't bother me about it and go get it yourself." I offer with a smile.

He chuckles and lies down. I head to the kitchen to turn the lights off, I then turn on a night-light in its place. I head back to my bedroom.

"Yukinoshita."

I pause on the doorway.

"Thanks," he calls out, his voice muffled. From the sofa I see him angling his head to look at me. "For letting me stay the night."

"You're welcome." I give him a sincere smile. "Goodnight Hikigaya-kun."

"G'night." he smiles back.

I enter my bedroom and hesitate. Normally, I don't bother closing the door. I'm a light sleeper and there are times when I find myself needing a drink at night. I also don't like sleeping completely in the dark, hence the night-light. But, if I leave the door open now, would he interpret that as an invitation perhaps? No, of course not. That would be silly. I trust him. Or at the very least, I can trust his nature as a petty thug, as Sensei once pointed out. I compromise by leaving the door a fraction open, just enough for a bit of light to come through.

I throw myself on the bed and sigh, exhausted. I feel myself drifting off almost immediately, despite the coffee, but I resist and decide to pull out my phone. As expected, I see a message from Komachi-san. I read it and laugh.

Basically, it was a message thanking me for taking her useless Onii-chan out of her hands while asking permission if she could now call me Onee-chan, and other variants of the title. Very cheeky. But that's something I like about her. I send her a reply, telling her not to dump garbage on someone else's backyard, especially biodegradables. I hesitate for a moment, then add a post-script saying that I wouldn't mind being addressed that way. I am quite fond of her, after all. I sometimes used to wonder how it would be like to have a younger sibling. Thinking of Komachi-san, I realize that I already know. It would be nice, in a way, to have her call me Onee-chan.

I lock my phone and bury myself deeper in my pillow. I think about Nee-san and her warning, but I no longer feel anxious. I'll just cross that bridge when I get there. But no. That's wrong. I think of the deadbeat outside. We'll cross that bridge when we get there.

With these thoughts in mind, I fall asleep.

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 **AN**

So, the theme of this chapter is "repression". Eargh, not really happy with it yet but I need to move on to the next one.

Again, thanks for the reviews!


	4. Chapter 4

It's now Sunday afternoon, approximately 4 o'clock. I'm walking around the mall, window shopping. I needed to do my groceries today since I was running out of ingredients. The cause of which was the extravagant breakfast I cooked up earlier this morning for myself and Hikigaya-kun. He and I were both hungry and I was feeling generous at the time. Since we rarely spend time together alone, and in my apartment no less, I decided to go all out. He went home bellyful and wobbling.

Since it's a rest day, the mall is a lot more crowded and noisy. Most of the people I encounter are couples and families. But there were also groups of teenagers or college students like myself, spending time together and "hanging out". From these people, I garnered attention. It wasn't so strange, I understood why they stared. I stood out. For two reasons mainly, my appearance and my solitary nature. I've learned to ignore the looks, but there were times when it turned into something troublesome when males are involved. Especially during the evenings.

I reach an area where I could see the Supermarket ahead. I walk straight towards it. Better to get the groceries out of the way first, I can just drop by the bookstore and pet store later. I go in and do my shopping fast. I stock up on eggs, bread, bacon, tofu, some cold cuts and chicken. I also check the vegetable section for anything that looks fresh and appetizing. Though I buy a lot of different things, I make sure I buy just enough to last a week. Once done, I head directly to the cashier and pay using my credit card.

Afterwards, I go out of the Supermarket and walk towards one of the mall's junctures where you usually find a map of sorts. I double check my location and look for a path towards the bookstore or pet store.

"Yukino-san!"

I hear someone call out my name and I turn around looking for the source, the voice sounded really familiar.

"Yukino-nee-san!"

I look up and on the second floor balcony, I see Komachi-san waving her hands at me and smiling.

"Oh, Komachi-san." I murmur, I don't bother raising my voice, I wave in greeting instead.

Komachi-san, seeing me wave back, immediately ran towards the nearest escalator. I wait for her to arrive. Running, it took her less than a minute to reach me, but she didn't come alone.

"Yahallo! Yukino-nee-san!" she greets again, a broad smile on her face.

"Hello, Komachi-san." I answer this time, smiling. Then I look at the man walking behind her. "Who's this?"

"Oh," Komachi-san gestures. "It's Taishi-kun, remember? Kawasaki-san's younger brother."

Oh, I remember now. Kawasaki Taishi. His hair was a bit longer, he didn't look as scrawny as before, and he was now a few inches taller than me. He was also dressed fashionably. All in all, he looked very handsome.

"Um, hello, Yukinoshita-san. It's been a while." he nods at me shyly.

"Yes it has. You've grown, Taishi-kun." I smile at him and he blushes adorably. Hikigaya-kun must really hate him.

"So, what brings you here?" Komachi-san asks, looking curiously at the bags in my hand.

"Groceries." I gesture with my hand. "You? Is this a date you're on? If so, I'm sorry if I disturbed you."

"Oh, no no." Komachi-san answers humorously. "Taishi-kun just wanted to hang out. There's this movie he wants to watch see, and he's paying for dinner to make me come with him."

I tilt my head, puzzled.

"But isn't that the same as a date?"

"No, of course not. We're just friends. We don't do dates." she smiles at me and laughs. Taishi-kun making a blank face and laughing uncomfortably with her. Ahh, good luck.

"Oh! I know!" Komachi-san suddenly exclaims. "Why don't you join us Yukino-san?"

"I don't know if that's a good idea..." I give Taishi-kun a troubled look. I don't want to be a third wheel.

"Um, I won't mind, Yukinoshita-san." he answers, making a somewhat encouraging look. Maybe he doesn't want the evening to feel like a date after Komachi-san's comment?

Komachi-san then grabs my hand and looks at me pleadingly.

"Yukino-san please! We rarely get to see each other anymore. Come with us! It'll be fun." she squeezes and tugs my hand. I really can't say no when she's looking at me that way. I give up and sigh. I smile and nod affirmative.

"Very well. I'll join you."

"Yey!" she claps her hands. "Here, I'll help you out with that." she grabs the groceries from my hand, but then proceeds to pass them on to Taishi-kun. I thank him for his trouble.

"Okay then! Let's go watch that movie!" Komachi-san announces.

We head for the escalators and go up. Komachi and I leading the way with Taishi-kun just a step behind. She talks to me about the movie we're about to watch. Some Hollywood film about a superhero. Eventually we reach the ticket booth, Komachi sits down on a bench while Taishi-kun steps in line, I follow him.

"I'll pay for my ticket. Taishi-kun." I whisper.

"Uh, no, that's fine..."

"I insist." I tell him clearly but kindly. "I'm sorry for butting in on your date by the way."

"It's okay. It wasn't a date to begin with." he sighs.

"Good things come to those who wait, Taishi-kun." I tell him.

"You think so?" he smiles wryly.

"She came when you invited her, didn't she?"

We reach the cashier and buy the tickets. We walk back to Komachi afterwards. Taishi-kun volunteers to buy the snacks and I sit beside her.

"He's not so bad." I remark.

"Uhuh, he's sort of popular though. A lot of girls seem to like him. Even though he's a bit of a perv." she answers offhandedly.

I recall Hayama-kun and the past.

"Must be tough." I sympathize.

"Yeah," she sighs. "but more importantly, did anything good happen between you and Onii-chan last night?" she grins and pokes me with her elbow.

"Nothing out of the ordinary." I tilt my head. "Which reminds me, does he know you're out with Taishi-kun?" I ask. It would be funny to look at his reaction once I tell him about this.

"Yep," she answers immediately. "If you look behind that potted plant on the left near the exit, you'll see someone wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses. That's Onii-chan."

I turn to look. Dreading what I'd find. And there, right where she mentioned, was Hikigaya-kun. He was trying to act inconspicuous while stealing glances at the snack counter and at our bench. I stare at him. When he finally notices, he stiffens up and walks slowly away.

"That's... very sad."

"It's okay! I mean, Onii-chan's kind of creepy right now, but that's just how he shows his love right? I think it's pretty high in points!" she says cheerfully. Right, she was that kind of person too. They really are a unique pair of siblings.

Taishi-kun arrives, carrying another plastic bag. I promise to pay him back for my share but this time he refuses to let me. So I thank him instead. We get in the cinema and find our seats. We were just in time for the pre-show trailers so it wasn't long before the movie started. Komachi-san and I talked about anything we could think of. Taishi-kun joining in from time to time. The movie was surprisingly well done. It was not the kind of movie I usually watched, so it was refreshing. I consider asking Yuigahama-san to join me next time another superhero film comes out. The movie lasted for almost 2 hrs but it didn't feel like it. I had a great time.

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"Woooh, that was fun! Taishi-kun, I'm glad you invited me."

We walk out the cinema doors, Komachi-san leading, looking satisfied.

"Yeah, the CG was really smooth and the story wasn't all bad either. And the action scenes! man..." Taishi-kun catches up to her talking excitedly. It looked like they were both having fun, but I needed to go to the comfort room so I reluctantly interrupt their chat. I clear my throat loudly.

"Excuse me, Komachi-san, Taishi-kun, I need to go to the ladies room. Could you wait for me there?" I point at a bench.

"Sure!"

"Okay."

I head towards the comfort room outside the cinemas since it was closer to the bench I pointed out. I go inside and quickly do my business. I exit and head back but someone suddenly grabs my shoulder and pushes me aside.

"Hyah!" I gasp in surprise and fright.

"Hey! It's me." Hikigaya-kun frowns at me behind his sunglasses.

"Hyah!" I gasp in surprise and fright.

"Hey. Stop." He deadpans.

"What do you want?" I brush his hand away, annoyed.

"What happened in there?" he hisses at me.

"Could you go be disgusting elsewhere?" I look at him with scorn. "I don't want to deal with you right now." I walk away but he stops me by grabbing my shoulder. I turn back and glare at him coldly.

"Let me go, Hikigaya-kun."

"Ahh, sorry." he steps back. He then looks at the bench where Komachi-san and Taishi-kun are sitting and talking. "Did something happen inside though? They look real close...I wonder what they're talking about..." he starts mumbling. He clenches his fist and makes a complicated expression, one with equal parts rage and despair.

"Nothing happened. We were just watching the movie and talking like normal." I sigh and look at him pitifully. "Why don't you join us so you can watch over her properly?"

"Ah, well, that guy is paying right? I don't have money with me right now. I found out about this date just when Komachi went out so I didn't bring enough." he shrugs. "I don't want to owe that guy anything." he adds passionately.

How pathetic.

"I'll pay for your share," I put my hand on my temple, feeling my head ache. "Come on, let's go. Get rid of that." I look at his glasses and cap.

He grumbles but puts them away. I walk back to the bench with him.

"I found this at the bathroom area." I mention casually.

"Why do you make it sound like I'm some trash you picked up?"

"Aren't you?"

Komachi-san laughs at our exchange.

"Gomii-chan! You finally show up!"

"Komachi... you too huh..." he replies disappointedly.

"Oh hi, Onii-san!" Taishi-kun greets with a smile. His reaction surprising me. He doesn't seem to be all that bothered by Hikigaya-kun.

"Don't call me Onii-san if you want to wake up tomorrow." Hikigaya-kun glares at Taishi-kun, he then complains to Komachi-san. "Why're you hanging out with this thing here Komachi?"

"Don't bully him, Onii-chan. Anyway, now that we're all here. Let's have dinner! Where should we go?"

Komachi-san looks at each of us. Hikigaya-kun clicks his tongue. Taishi-kun and I share a look and glance at Komachi-san and Hikigaya-kun. I sigh.

"Saize." We chorused.

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I've always wondered why it's considered an Italian restaurant, when they serve dishes that aren't. I guess necessity calls for variety in this case.

I take a bite of my hamburger steak while thinking idly. Beside me Hikigaya-kun is talking normally with Taishi-kun, it seems that the two of them get along well if they try, or at least, if Hikigaya-kun does. Komachi-san is sitting across, sipping ice tea and listening while nodding her head from time to time.

I look down at my plate and cut another slice. I wasn't feeling all that hungry because of the popcorn I ate at the theater, so I was eating slowly. Looking at everyone else's plate, it looks like they might finish well before I do. So I nudge Hikigaya-kun with my elbow to grab his attention.

"Yeah?"

"Could you help me finish this?" I whisper.

"Oh sure. You know I never say no to free food."

I cut my steak in half and place the uneaten portion on his plate. In front of me, Komachi-san looks on with glee.

"You know, you guys really act like a couple sometimes. You sure you're not dating Onii-chan, Yukino-san?"

"Yeah, Onii-san. Whatever happened to giving up on cute girls?"

"What're you talking about? And don't call me Onii-san."

"Komachi-san, rather than lovers, I think it's more master and pet."

"Wait, I think someone just said something really outrageous there. You picking a fight?"

Hikigaya-kun glares at me and I smile back, Komachi-san and Taishi-kun giggling at us.

"Haaa.. I'm not up for this." He gives us all an apathetic look and continues eating.

"Anyway, let's ignore Onii-chan for now. Yukino-san, if I want to earn a lot of money, what college course do you think I should take?" she leans forward eagerly.

"I think you should think on what course suits you best, rather than what income you desire." I advise. "Choosing your college course is a life changing decision. If you don't think about it properly. You will regret it."

"Ahhhh... That's kind of hard to do..." Komachi-san stares at the ceiling and scratches her head.

"Yeah... I mean... it's not that simple..." Taishi-kun looks at the table blankly.

"They're both idiots you see." Hikigaya-kun points at the two of them. "They can choose any course because they'll be equally bad in any of them."

"That's a very pessimistic way of looking at things. Then maybe they should pick the easiest? Yuigahama-san is doing well in Business Management right?"

"Yeah, but she has luck and magic on her side."

It's troubling that I can't deny that. Despite Yuigahama-san's dubious skills in studying, she always seems to pass.

"How about Hospitality? Like Miura-san's." I add.

"Hmm... Komachi can do that I guess..."

She perks up after hearing her name and looks at us expectantly.

"Well, Hospitality is pretty in demand considering the growth in the Tourism industry. So yeah, I think that'll work for you Komachi. You'll also be under the Social Sciences so we might be able to see each other from time to time if you get into Chiba U." Hikigaya-kun tells her.

"How about me Onii-san? What course can I take?" Taishi-kun asks excitedly.

"I don't really care, but I'm pretty sure Tourism would be bad for you. Maybe something from the Sciences? Engineering? Also, it'd be great if you pick some other school. Somewhere outside Chiba..."

Taishi-kun makes a disappointed look and turns to me instead.

"Yukinoshita-san, do you have an idea?"

"You could follow in your sister's footsteps perhaps, Education under Liberal Arts. Or maybe something from the Social Sciences. It's really up to you Taishi-kun, you know yourself better than any of us."

"I see...just for reference, what did you and Onii-san take?"

"I took Public Administration, he took Psychology. Both are under the Social Sciences."

He nods at my answer and looks away thoughtfully. He then looks at Hikigaya-kun seriously, his eyes narrowed.

"Onii-san, what's the difference between high school and college? Is it better? There's a lot more of them right? And there aren't any uniforms too."

Hikigaya-kun looks at Taishi-kun oddly, but then straightens up in his seat and leans forward, with a serious expression of his own.

"Well, that's certainly true. If you're looking for what I think you are. Then yes, you'll find them. But there's not much difference in what happens, Taishi. All you can do is look."

"Oh, but maybe I'll get lucky too. Like Onii-san."

"What're you talking about? And as long as you get lucky with someone not in this room then that's fine I guess."

I glance at Komachi-san in front of me.

"What's with their conversation? What are they talking about?"

Komachi-san sips on her iced tea and rolls her eyes at them.

"They're probably talking about girls, Yukino-san. Don't mind them."

"Hmm..."

I take another bite, listening to their conversation with half an ear. I wonder if Hikigaya-kun has female classmates that he's close with. But then, who would want to associate with him? He hasn't changed much since high school after all. We continue eating our meals, talking about whatever comes to mind, taking our time in the restaurant and taking advantage of the drink bar. Komachi-san and I order dessert and we share. Eventually, when we decide to head out, the night sky was what greeted us, stars dimmed by clouds and smoke, but shining nonetheless.

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"Thank you for walking me home."

I bow slightly in gratitude and take the grocery bags from him.

"Ahh, it's okay. I owe you for this morning and tonight too. It's the least I can do."

"You sure it's okay? Komachi-san is still with Taishi-kun you know." I tease.

"If she's not home by the time I get there I'll kill him." he declares. "Anyway, I'll pay you back tomorrow at school."

"It's really okay. You don't have to." I shrug.

"Ahhh, but I don't think it is. It's a bit troublesome for me." he shuffles his feet and looks up as if in thought. "Why don't I treat you to lunch some time? There's this really nice ramen place that just opened near campus." he gives me an enthusiastic look.

"Oh, ramen huh..." I look away. I wasn't too fond of its strong flavor. And I wasn't confident I could finish a bowl. But maybe it isn't too bad as all that? Isshiki-san does brag about going out with him occasionally and she seems to have developed a fondness for ramen herself. Maybe it's an acquired taste?

"Okay then. I'll accompany you if you invite me." I nod.

"Great. I'll see you at school tomorrow then. Later." He waves and turns around, heading for the bus stop.

"Yes, see you tomorrow." I bid him farewell and turn towards the entrance of my apartment building.

I think about what classes I have tomorrow and if I have enough time to accept an invite. Our schedules were more or less the same but I was a lot busier than he was. Well, I guess I'll just have to make myself less busy if I have to. I am quite ahead in all my subjects. Doing schoolwork during the weekends does pay off after all. Though I wasn't able to this weekend, I don't find myself regretting it. In fact, these last two days may have been the most fun I've had in a while. Maybe it's not so bad to loosen up every now and then. Yes, not so bad at all.

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 **AN**

Yeah, mah OTP makes an appearance. They're basically the reason why I wrote this chap. I was actually planning to write a one shot about them and label it HikigayaXKawasaki to bait the Sakisaki fans and troll em, but I never got around to writing that fic. I might in the future, but only after I'm done with this.

Not really sure if the course names here are accurate. It's what I got after a little bit of research. I've decided to use Chiba U as their college and I'm going to try and make the college setting more prevalent in future chaps. Credits to ralphsiegler for the title! It's exponentially better than what I had. lol

Anywho, thanks for the reviews guys. Appreciate em. Also, I'm trying to change my style by cutting up the scenes, to make the chap "feel" longer. Not sure if it worked.

thero - yeah, I am working on that. I just like to be careful when it comes to writing these parts. I only add stuff that sounds funny or natural in my head. I also have to consider the fact that the guys I'm writing about now have known each other for 3 yrs, so I can't add too many insults/teasing in because I feel that would be a bit OOC considering the timeline.

FFLeon - You're right, it was Hayama who texted Haruno. I was having fun with the first person pov restrictions in ch2. There were stuff I just had to imply and not explicitly state. One was Hayama texting Haruno to help Sensei ( I clarified this a bit in ch3 ). The other one was 8man getting a good look at Yukino's breasts ( not sure if anyone noticed lol). Don't know if I did it well cause my narration skills are a bit noobish but that's the point of writing this fic anyway, to practice.


	5. Chapter 5

I step out and open my umbrella, blocking out the heavy rain. I breathe in deep, inhaling the smell of wet grass and moisture. It's almost 1 o'clock and I plan to go to the cafeteria for a late lunch. Hikigaya-kun texted me earlier to invite me, as was promised, but I had to decline because of class work. It was a group activity in which half of my group members weren't classmates in other subjects so I had to prioritize it.

I walk out of the building, careful not to step on the puddles. Behind me, a lot of students wait for the downpour to lessen. I consider offering one of my female classmates to share, but I don't know how to go about saying it so I decide not to. Besides, the forecast yesterday warned that there would be a good chance that there'll be heavy rain this afternoon, they should've come prepared.

I walk fast, going against the wind. My coat getting wet despite the umbrella and I hug myself feeling cold. In this weather, eating something hot would've been nice. It's unfortunate that I had to turn him down.

"Yukinoshita-senpaiiiii!"

I pause to look on the side. In an adjacent building, I see Isshiki-san wave and run towards me, placing a plastic folder on her head for cover. She then ducks under my umbrella and clings to my arm. Keeping close to avoid getting wet.

"Wooooh, thanks, Yukinoshita-senpai! Let's go!"

"Let's go you say... but where are you going..." I mutter uncomfortably. Feeling awkward because of her close proximity. Despite getting used to Yuigahama-san's notion of personal space, I always fluster whenever someone gets too close.

"I'll go wherever you go, of course!" she says with a sly smile. "It was getting stuffy in there anyway."

"It's getting stuffy in here too." I sigh and adjust the umbrella to give us better cover. "Don't you have classes to attend?"

"Ahh, the next one's later at 3 o'clock. So I'm free for now. Where are we heading, Yukinoshita-senpai?"

"The cafeteria." I answer simply.

We start walking towards the cafeteria, Isshiki-san leaning in close. Though we're moving slower, with her by my side, I start to feel warmer.

"Are you meeting up with someone there?" she asks after a while.

"No. I was planning on having lunch."

"Ohhh, I'll join you then."

After a few minutes of walking, we reach a corner and turn left and there, just ahead, was the cafeteria. A lot of people were standing near the entrance, waiting for a chance to go out. But inside it was less crowded, I could still see a few unoccupied tables. We reach the entrance and step on the floor mat, I close my umbrella and place it in the umbrella rack, we then go inside.

I was looking at the tables near the edge, hoping to find an area that's relatively quiet, when I noticed two familiar faces sitting close together. It was Yuigahama-san and Hikigaya-kun. She was talking and laughing at something while Hikigaya-kun was listening attentively. It looked like they were enjoying themselves. The scene made me feel oddly melancholic.

"Ah!" Isshiki-san exclaims beside me, noticing the two. "It's senpai... and he's with Yui-senpai too..."

"Yes," I smile wryly at her. "I can see that."

"Let's go bothe-" she stops herself. "Let's go join them!"

She starts walking directly towards the pair without waiting for my response. I follow her at a more sedate pace.

"Senpaiiii!" Isshiki-san calls out by way of greeting.

Hikigaya-kun turns to look at Isshiki-san and gives her a tired reply. He then glances at me and grunts.

"Iroha-chan! Yukinon!" in contrast, Yuigahama-san greets us energetically, half rising from her chair, waving and inviting me to sit on the chair next to her.

Isshiki-san takes a seat beside Hikigaya-kun while I take the one beside Yuigahama-san, who then starts hugging me.

"S-Space." I manage to squeeze out. I put one hand on the side of her face and gently push her away. It's not that I mind having her this close, I've gotten used to this treatment coming from her, it's just that in the cafeteria, with so many people around, it was just a tad embarrassing.

"So, what're you guys doing here?" Isshiki-san asks, looking at Yuigahama-san and Hikigaya-kun.

"Oh, " Yuigahama-san peels herself off of me to answer."I ran into Hikki on my way here! He wasn't doing anything so I asked him to come with me. "

"I was waiting for you to come out, actually." Hikigaya-kun looks at me accusingly. "Then it started raining really hard and I got stuck."

"Hikki was waiting for Yukinon... why?" Yuigahama-san looks at him puzzled.

"Why indeed." I add haughtily. "I'll have you know, stalking is a criminal offense, and unlike your sister, I won't tolerate it." I glare at him in mock anger.

"What are you talking about?" he looks at me annoyed. "It's because you don't reply that I had to wait for you outside."

"But I did text you." I frown at him, confused.

"30 minutes later." he growls.

"Oh," I put my hand on my mouth to hide my smile. That was indeed the case, though I hadn't expected him to actually come to my department building and wait. "You should have tried to catch my attention then."

"I did. Your back was to the door though. Your groupies noticed me but they looked at me like I was some kind of thug. I didn't knock or go inside because I thought you'd just check your phone or something."

So that was why they kept looking at the door while I was giving out the instructions. I thought they just wanted to leave early. I guess they hadn't thought the suspicious person outside would be looking for me. Unsurprising, since I don't associate with him whenever my acquaintances from class are around.

"Muuuuu..."

"Hohhhh..."

I glance at Yuigahama-san beside me, who was making a dissatisfied sound. She was pouting and looking at me while Isshiki-san was grinning at Hikigaya-kun.

"Yukinon and Hikki are having fun on their own..."

"Senpaiiiii, what's thiss?"

I hold my hand up and smile placatingly.

"It's not like that, Yuigahama-san. Hikigaya-kun was just trying to pay me back."

"Pay what back?" she tilts her head.

I draw in a breath and start to explain but I hesitate. Where do I start? This would be a good time to tell her about Hikigaya-kun's stay over. Just so she doesn't hear it from somebody else, a misunderstanding would surely come out of it then. Although I felt confident in telling Nee-san that there wouldn't be any problems between Yuigahama-san and I, I still feel that I should choose my words carefully. I'm not that good in explaining after all and my actions could be seen as suspicious depending on what I say, maybe not to Yuigahama-san but possibly to Isshiki-san.

I consider doing it later but there's no telling when I'll get the chance to talk to her with just us two. Besides, it's imperative that I tell her, not only because she's my closest friend and that I should not keep things that may concern her hidden, but also because of the promise we made almost 3 years ago. A promise we still keep.

"Ah well," I clear my throat, trying again. "Remember last Saturday when Hikigaya-kun took me home? It was getting late and..."

"I stayed over." He interrupts offhandedly. "We also bumped into each other yesterday, with Komachi. She had to pay for dinner cause I was out of money. I promised I'd pay her back next time."

I look at him and he shrugs. He must have noticed my discomfort and decided to help. I smile in gratitude.

"Ohhh... wait... you spent a night in Yukinon's apartment?" she looks at him and frowns, she stays silent for a few seconds before she turns towards me. When she does, I flinch.

"Yukinon..."

"It's not..." I open my mouth to explain.

"Uhhhhhh! Yukinon!" she wails, ignoring me. "Why didn't you invite me too!?" She raises her hands and proceeds to beat my shoulder.

"Um... you were still with Miura-san..." I mutter as I block her with my hands, feeling relieved and amused.

"But you could have called me over! We could have watched those DVDs I left behind! And made popcorn and stuff!" she glares at me.

"We can do that next time, okay?" I offer.

"Ahhh, Yukinoshita-senpai, let me join in toooo!" Isshiki-san pipes in, raising her hand up. What is this, class participation time?

"Oh!" Yuigahama-san perks up at Isshiki-san's remark. "We can have a slumber party then! Us girls!"

"Ah, no, that would be a bit..." I mumble, but my protest dies on my lips. With her looking that excited, there's no point in trying to stop her. Besides, it does sound appealing.

"Oooh, that's a great idea Yui-senpai!" Isshiki-san bounces on her seat, nodding. "We'll order pizza and buy ice cream! We can let Senpai join us too if he buys them for us!"

"Ahh, but Hikki's a guy... well, if he pays for our food, I guess that's okay!"

"Hey, why would I want to pay that much to eat junk food and watch sappy movies with you guys? There's no incentive at all you know." he gives an uncaring look at the two.

"Incentive huh?" Yuigahama-san frowns at him.

"It's something that encourages a person to work harder or do something." I say quickly before Hikigaya-kun can beat me to it.

"Gu-he! I know what it means! I'm taking Business Management you know!" she cries and starts hitting me again.

"How about senpai getting to see Yui-senpai wearing her nightie!" Isshiki-san adds, leering at Hikigaya-kun.

Yuigahama-san jerks in her seat, blushing in response. Hikigaya-kun doing the same, his eyes glancing at Yuigahama-san and her chest. I glare at him and he looks away. Could he not be so obvious? Besides, rather than size alone, there's beauty in symmetry too. It's not only Yuigahama-san who'd look good wearing a nightie. I look down and adjust my collar, feeling somewhat irritated.

"Um... Iroha-chan... that's a bit..."

"Yeah, that's not something I should see, I think..."

Yuigahama-san mumbles shyly along with Hikigaya-kun, Isshiki-san watches them, enjoying their reactions. I cough loudly to interrupt.

"If we're having a slumber party, then that won't be invited. I won't allow it."

"Oops, better luck next time then, senpai." Isshiki-san pats his shoulder consolingly.

"It's not like I want to go. Leave me alone." he brushes her off.

I sigh and look around, noticing a change in the atmosphere. People were now starting to leave and the cafeteria was now quieter. It was still raining, but it wasn't as hard as it was a few minutes ago. Clumps of students were standing up from their tables and heading towards the exits, students were running outside, probably going to their respective classes. I remember why I came here and ask.

"Have you two had your lunch yet?"

Yuigahama-san shakes her head.

"Oh, no, Hikki and I arrived just a few minutes before you. We were planning to actually."

"I see..." I smile, an idea forming in my head. "Hikigaya-kun."

"Yeah?"

"...why don't we go out for ramen?"

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"...why do I have to pay for everything?"

The cook places a bowl of shoyu ramen in front of me and Yuigahama-san. Isshiki-san and Hikigaya-kun receive their bowls as well, though theirs was miso and tonkotsu instead.

I clap my hands in gratitude and part my chopsticks. The smell emanating from the bowl has me looking forward to tasting it. I hadn't noticed how hungry I was until I entered the shop, the shop's aroma and the walk we took had worked up my appetite.

"...ignoring me as well huh."

"Stop whining." I answer.

Isshiki-san grabs her phone and takes a picture, she then raises it high to include the rest of us. Her fussiness drawing attention from the other customers, who were mostly men. Though that was probably just part of why they stole glances at us. Yuigahama-san makes a pose and drags me into it while Hikigaya-kun sitting beside me tries to avoid having his picture taken.

That done, I turn my attention back to my meal. I take a bite of meat, it was a bit salty but tender. I try the soup, it was surprisingly good.

"Thanks for treating us, Hikki!"

"Yep, senpai, thankss!"

"It's nothing..." he sighs.

We start eating in earnest. The ramen bowl wasn't too big, so I should be able to finish it by myself. To my right, Yuigahama-san and Isshiki-san strike up a conversation about their instructors, both of them took Business Management so there were a lot of things they shared in common. I decide not to join in on their talk and turn to Hikigaya-kun instead, who is eating what seems to be ramen with an obscene amount of fat. I shudder, feeling somewhat fascinated as I watch him slurp down soup that glistened ominously.

"What?"

"...how can you eat that?"

"It's really good."

"It's disgusting." I make a face. "Why did you invite me to a ramen shop anyway?" I ask, curious.

"Well..." he pauses to take another sip. "I thought it would be nice. I know you get to eat at a lot of fancy restaurants, so I figured I should take you someplace you normally wouldn't go to."

"Ah, so you wished to introduce me to the joys of plebeian cuisine. Thank you, Hikigaya-kun."

"Would it hurt you to show appreciation in a less insulting manner? Also, I demand you apologize to all ramen shop owners, cooks, patrons, Sensei and while you're at it, the entire country. This dish is part of our culture you know. Where's your nationalistic pride?"

I roll my eyes at him and continue eating. Though I say that, I am glad he took me here. It's true that I don't get to eat at establishments such as this one, so it was a bit thoughtful on his part to consider that. The cold weather and my appetite had me enjoying the meal too, it wouldn't be too bad an idea to do something nice for him sometime.

"Hey, Yukinon."

"Yes?"

"Do you have any plans later?"

"No. Why?"

"Iroha-chan and I are gonna check out that cafe near Chiba station with the dessert buffet. She says their cheesecake is really good!" she looks at me, her eyes gleaming.

Calories, is what I'd like to point out but I don't want to discourage her when she's looking happy.

"When?" I say instead.

"Ah, around 4:30 Yukinoshita-senpai. If that's okay with you."

"Yes, that's fine."

We make plans to meet up later. The rain had stopped just as we finished our meals, so we quickly went out to go back to campus, just in case it started up again. We walked and talked, the four of us together, just like old times.

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"This is my stop. My next class is in there." I gesture to a building to my right.

"Oh, okay then, Yukinon! Text me later okay?" Yuigahama-san squeezes my arm before letting go.

I turn around and stop. I take out my phone to check on the time. It's half past 1 and I still have some time before my class starts. I could still spend some time with them. The phone starts ringing before I could put it back in my pocket however. I take a look at it and frown at the caller id, Yuigahama-san taking a step closer to look behind my shoulder curiously.

"...yes?" I answer.

"Yukino, how are you? Are you available right now?"

"...I'm fine, and no, I still have classes to attend." My mother sounded upset for some reason. I feel my throat tighten.

"I see. There's something we need to talk about. What time will your classes end? I'll come pick you up."

"...4 o'clock will be fine."

"Okay then. I'll wait for you at the main entrance. I'll see you later."

"...yes, mother." We hang up at the same time, I put away my phone and sigh.

"Yukinon, is everything okay?" Yuigahama-san asks me, concerned.

"It's fine. My mother just wants to talk." I put my hand on her arm and smile. I don't want her to worry about me. I can take care of myself. And it's not like there is a problem, though I do have an idea of what it might be if there were.

"It's unfortunate. But it seems that I can't come with you after all." I continue. "I'm sorry, Yuigahama-san, Isshiki-san. I'll have to pass for today."

"Ehhhhh..." Isshiki-san looks at me disappointedly, while Yuigahama-san just laughs it off.

"It's fine, Yukinon! We'll just go there tomorrow! Iroha-chan and I won't mind!"

"Yeah, tomorrow's fine tooo..."

I smile gratefully at Yuigahama-san. Isshiki-san as well, but behind her I see Hikigaya-kun frowning at me worriedly.

"It's fine." I repeat, looking at him. I haven't forgotten his offer, I know he'll help me when the time comes, if it comes. But for now, I can take care of things by myself.

"...okay." he looks away with a sigh.

Yuigahama-san looks at us, curious, but she decides not to ask. I squeeze her arm one last time in farewell.

"Until tomorrow then." I tell her fondly.

"Okay Yukinon! Tomorrow!"

"Okaaaay!" Isshiki-san gives me a wave.

I wave back and turn around, heading for class. I'm confident I can stand up for myself now. I've confronted my mother in the past, and since then, she's treated me in a more amiable way. But that's neither here nor there, as I still have a lecture to attend. I push all thoughts of my mother away and prepare for the next class.

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 **AN**

Brix were shat writing this chapter. I feel like I forced this one out too much. I wanted to write Iroha in and I didn't originally plan on doing that so it was tough. I want to make use of other characters in this fic to make it a bit "fuller", did it with Komachi and Taishi last chap, Iroha in this one, Hayama will be next, and then Miura, the rest I'm still working on.

Welp, at least I'm finally done with this one, next one should be easier, I've been thinking on what to do with it for quite some time now. Not sure if I can upload it faster because I want to do more editing. But maybe I can get back to my 3-days per chapter pace with the next one.

As always, thanks for reviewing. It's at times like these that they really come in handy as motivational fodder. orz

bronze v lee sin - yep, we're still on the scenic route, walking slowly... The thought of writing that chap is one of the things that keep me goin. So I'm not giving up!

INtheSYene - ugh yeah, I always felt like I didn't do the party thing justice. I want to do it again if I could but that'll probably happen only after I'm done with the main story. Hey, I'd read your fic if you write it! And a lot here would be interested in it too.

Guest - errr, I don't see your review anymore, so I guess you removed it? I don't really mind questions like that so it's okay, if you've figured it out then that's okay too. But just in case some find the plot unclear.. err, it's because it sort of is. haha. Next chap will introduce the main conflict though so things will start to shape up from there. Also, I just like to tease. Like putting a piece of a puzzle in one chap, and another piece in another. Don't worry too much about where this fic is heading though, I do have an outline and a "checklist", some bits of it keep changing but the shape is more or less the same. The summary sort of points to the right direction too. hehe


	6. Chapter 6

I walk out the gate and look around. To my left, a few meters away, I see a black limousine. It starts moving forward and stops in front of me. The car door opens and I see my mother beckon me inside. I nod and get in, sitting beside her.

"Yukino, how was class?"

"Fine, mother. Thank you for picking me up."

I respond formally. Despite being my mother, our relationship could only be described as distant. My mother has always been the domineering type, her wishes and commands were always followed, and I was someone who couldn't handle that well. Though she truly believes that what she does is for the best, the way she goes about it had made it difficult for me and my sister. Because of this, at an early age, I had stopped regarding her with affection but with fear instead.

With a gesture from my mother, the car starts moving. She looks out the window, looking serene. But underneath her outward calm, I could sense tension.

"Your father and I had lunch together, earlier today." she begins. "We were having a discussion about you. He was... upset. To say the least. He received this report from one of his men, you see. Apparently, you came home last Saturday night, late and drunk, together with a man. Is this true?"

"Yes, but it's not what it seems." I sigh. I guess not getting called out on this was too much to hope for.

She turns to look at me and I meet her gaze.

"The same man was then seen leaving the apartment building, morning of the next day." I see my mother twitch, but she continues. "It doesn't stop there, the report also states that he was seen later that evening, together with you. What is this Yukino? Should I be worried?"

I raise my hand and put pressure to my temple. I close my eyes and breathe deep, to think clearly. Unlike Yuigahama-san, my mother was prone to see the worst. I have to explain this more carefully if I want to get rid of this misunderstanding.

"He took me home and I asked him to stay over. It was late and I didn't want him to travel at that hour. I had him sleep on the couch. That was all there was to it." I explain.

"How late is late?" she asks, her tone strict.

"It was almost midnight."

"... what were you doing outside at that hour?"

"I was at a party, with friends." I clench my fist. One way or another, I was still in trouble.

"With friends, I see. And how many were there at this party?"

"There were..." I do a quick count. " 10 of us."

"Was Hayato-kun there? Or your friend, the one with the hair bun."

"...yes." I frown and look at her, unsure of where she was going.

"Wouldn't it have been better to have them escort you home then? I believe Hayato-kun has his own car. He could have driven you home. Or that girl. She's someone who stays overnight at your place quite often, your sister once mentioned that. Why wasn't she with you instead?"

"Well... there were other circumstances..." I start, but I stop when I see her glare.

"Yes, the both of you were drunk, I believe." she narrows her eyes at me.

"No... It's not like that... " I scowl, I try to answer her question first. "About Yuigahama-san. I just didn't want to bother her. I wanted to leave early, and she..."

"What about Hayato-kun then?" she interrupts.

"He..." He offered to take me home, but I refused.

"...Well?"

"...I didn't want to bother him as well." I finish lamely.

"I see. But it's okay if it's this man is it? Who is he?"

"It's Hikigaya-kun, you've met him several times in the past." I remind her, though I can't blame her for forgetting. It was something of a skill he has, erasing his presence, not only did it occur in the present, but also in people's memories, quite impressive in a sad way really. I shake my head and try to explain further.

"...and no. It wasn't okay, not exactly, but... there were other circumstances. I... I threw up on Hikigaya-kun that night. I didn't want him to go home in that state, so I let him stay."

"... and stay he did." she answers, but there was something wrong with the way she said it. An implied thought, that gave rise to unease in my chest.

 _She doesn't believe me._

It was unsurprising. To her, I was always the disappointing one. The deviant, the lesser child. It must be easy for her to imagine me drunk and inviting a man over to stay, offering more than just hospitality. I look down at my hands, clenching them.

"Nothing happened." I tell her, anger bubbling inside me. I feel that it's pointless, but I need to say it for myself.

We both stay silent, letting the tension congeal. Several minutes pass and we don't speak. On the window's reflection I see her looking outside, contemplative, her lips twisted downwards.

"This is partly my fault, I suppose." she speaks softly, breaking the silence. "Letting you live on your own this long. Perhaps something like this was bound to happen."

"It's not like that." I clench my teeth. "You don't understand..."

"No, it's you who doesn't understand." she answers firmly. "Look at me, Yukino."

I turn to her, sullen.

"Your father is at a delicate position right now. Our family cannot afford a scandal. What would people say if they found out you were bringing men home? Think of how that would damage our name."

"Nothing happened." I repeat. I hold my hands together to stop them from trembling. This was always the case with her, the family name was something sacrosanct, conduct should be at its best at all times, misbehavior will not be forgiven. I'm sick of it.

She exhales loudly and closes her eyes, composing herself.

"Forgive me, Yukino, for treating you this way. I've been preoccupied lately and I feel I haven't given you the attention you deserve. If I had, this wouldn't be happening." she reaches out and holds my hand, I stop myself from recoiling. "We've been busy, your father and I. I suppose I should tell you why."

I keep my mouth shut and wait, feeling irritated by her treatment. She squeezes my hand.

"There's talk about your father getting a promotion." I frown and she continues. "A member of the cabinet is resigning due to personal issues. The reasons are unclear but the Prime Minister has been notified. This cabinet member is still in office though, settling his affairs and getting ready. Once he is done, his resignation will be announced. It could happen any day now. Your father on the other hand, has been gaining popularity. His efforts have been greatly appreciated by the majority and talk is that he deserves a cabinet position and should be given the post once it is vacated. There are other contenders of course, but your father seems to be the most popular choice..."

A cabinet position. A state minister. One of the highest seats in government. I start to understand. If father were to be considered for this post, background checks will be made, discreet questions asked regarding his past, his accomplishments, everything, including of course, his family.

"Yes, I can see that you understand. This is why I am upset, Yukino. How could you be so thoughtless, knowing your father's position?"

"...why wasn't I told?" I ask, ignoring her reprimand.

"You didn't need to know. The promotion isn't set in stone, after all. Your sister and I have been working towards that goal, however. And it seems like our efforts are paying off." she frowns at me. "But I feel that we can do even better. Yukino, I need you to leave your apartment and come home with me."

"W-What?" I sputter. I glare at her and she raises her hand in a gesture to make me stop.

"We need to keep a better eye on you. I believe there's nothing wrong with that. It would make me happy to have you home again as well."

"But father..."

"Agrees with me." she interrupts.

"But what would be the point?" I answer, stubborn. "There's not much I can do at home. I'll only get in the way."

"We need to look united, as a family." she looks at me sadly. "Yukino. It won't hurt you to come live with us, I'd be very relieved if you do. I will be needing your assistance in some things as well. So it's better, for all of us, if you cooperate."

"Assistance?" I ask, indignant.

"Don't take that tone with me, Yukino. You're not in any position to complain." she gives me a stern look. "Your sister has been doing errands for me and your father since she started studying in college. When she received her degree, we decided to let her go. She has plans on taking up her masters as well, so it was for the best. She will study in Tokyo next year. If things go well for your father, we might follow her there for convenience's sake. But for now, I need you to help me and your sister. Eventually, her tasks will be yours. You should have a good idea of what these are, I've been letting you come with me frequently after all."

I stare at her blankly, my mouth hanging slightly open. Tokyo? All of us? It wasn't too far but...

"What about my studies?"

"There's Tokyo University. I'm sure you can get in without any problems. You'll be together with your sister too. She'll be able to look after you there."

"But... I don't want to. My friends..." I choke out.

"You'll find new ones." she smiles at me comfortingly. "Friends who won't lead you astray, friends that won't... take advantage of you."

I clench my teeth and push back a flash of anger. Arguing at this point would lead to nowhere, shouting would make matters worse. It was my father I needed to talk to. Though I wasn't sure if he'd listen to me. If my mother has convinced him to see things her way, then there won't be much that I can do.

"Why are you being so contrary, Yukino? Don't you want to help your father?"

"Of course I want to help him. I just don't see why I should leave my apartment or transfer to a different school to do so."

"I've made my point, haven't I?" she says gently. "I'm also giving you an opportunity here. By taking your sister's place, associating with men of power and influence, your entry into the world of politics will become much easier. Isn't that your goal? I seem to remember a young girl bragging about following in her father's footsteps."

"That was a long time ago, mother."

"And yet it's still true. Isn't that why you chose your major?"

I keep my mouth shut. Silence my answer. She was right. It was still my goal, but I didn't want it to be given to me in a silver platter. I wanted to make my own way, to choose my own path. I'll still end up using my father's influence and name, it can't be helped, but at least it would be under my terms.

"Yukino, people are starting to notice you. People are asking for you. In social events your sister and I attend, everyone expects you to be there. We need you with us."

"...I'll think about it." I answer vaguely. It was hard to deny her outright. I've never really learned to say no to my mother.

"Good. Do that. Also, I shouldn't have to tell you this, but you need to end your relationship with that man."

"...What? Why?" I ask, puzzled.

"It's not right, Yukino. I'm worried. I know nothing of him. He hasn't bothered to introduce himself and let his intentions be known. How can we trust him?"

"He has no ulterior motives. Besides, you don't have to trust him. You should trust me instead." I answer and she makes an uncomfortable expression. If it had been Nee-san seen together with a man, mother would have accepted her alibi.

"Yukino..." she tries again. "He... isn't right for you. There are others, there will always be others. How about Hayato-kun? The two of you are close, aren't you? If not him, I can think of a dozen others more worthy of your attention."

"He isn't my lover." I reply, exasperated. "We're just...close. Nothing has ever happened between us. Not the way you're thinking. As for those men you keep introducing me to, I'm sorry, but I don't find myself interested in any of them."

"Then why is Haruno so fond of calling this man my future son-in-law?" she frowns at me. I groan and close my eyes.

"Nee-san is a lying fool." I say with feeling.

"Don't talk about her that way. At least she's never caused this kind of trouble."

"Only because she hasn't been caught yet."

"Enough, Yukino." she says sharply.

I stay quiet the rest of the way. We pass by my apartment building, where I took my laptop and some of my books. My mother asks for my keys and I hand them over. She says she needs them to give to Nee-san, so that she can come and take my other things home. I don't worry too much because I always make sure to have a spare, one was in my locker at school and one with Yuigahama-san. The apartment was paid in full as well, so there was no chance of it going to a different tenant. In time, I'll have it back.

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"Nee-san, get out."

"Aww, it's been so long since we've spent time together in your room like this. Come on, don't be such a sourpuss. I already said I'm sorry."

I pull my pillow over my head and ignore her. I'm in my bed lying down, while Nee-san sits at the chair in front of my work table. It was just after dinner, an awkward and silent affair. My father wasn't here, he was staying at a house in Tokyo for something work related, so it was just me, my mother and Nee-san at the dinner table. Mother was still upset over me, Nee-san was quiet for an altogether different reason, her smiles annoying even mother, and I ate sparingly, ignoring the both of them. I went upstairs to my room with my meal half-eaten, my mother calling me out. Nee-san barged in a few minutes later.

"At least mother is angry for the right reasons this time. She's mellowed out quite a bit, ever since you confronted her all those years ago. She's also trying to help you, in her own way. It's not so bad."

"And it would've been better if you didn't joke so much about Hikigaya-kun. Now she's convinced we've been having sex." I sit up and give her a glare.

"Well, so what? Look at it this way, when the both of you do have sex, mother won't be angry anymore!" she smiles widely.

"And why is that?" I look at her with disgust.

"Double jeopardy!" she exclaims, raising a hand triumphantly.

"...that's so stupid." I put the pillow on my lap to lean on and palm my face.

"I notice you didn't even call me out on the sex bit. Tell me, Is there really nothing going on between you two?" she leers at me.

"Of course there isn't. Nee-san, could you please leave? Or perhaps you would like to exit through the window? The view there is rather nice."

"Hmm... you've known him for 3 years now, it wouldn't be so strange for the two of you to take the next step or two." she continues, ignoring my threat. "If you don't, someone might take him away from you, you know. It could be Gahama-chan." she gives me a cold smile. "...or me."

"He wouldn't give you the time of day." I scoff.

"Oh, I don't know about that..." she leans forward in her seat, arms crossed beneath her chest, emphasizing her considerable assets. "Men can't go against their nature, Yukino-chan." she purrs.

"... he's better than that." I mutter, my throat dry. The disparity between me and my sister was just too much.

"Hoh, a few drinks with me, a night of flirting, he'd be mine the next day. I could take the robes off a priest." she looks at me smugly.

I stare at her blankly for a few seconds, when I find my voice, I speak calmly and evenly.

"...Do that and it will not end well for you."

I look deep into her eyes and make her understand. This isn't a threat, but a statement, a fact. Cross this line and I will make you pay. I make her flinch and lean back on her seat.

"Sheesh, Yukino-chan." she whines, shaking herself. "You really need to lighten up."

"If you don't have any more business with me, Nee-san. Then please leave."

"Fine." she stands up and sighs. "But I am serious about Gahama-chan. You've been warned~"

She walks out with a wave. I stand up and lock the door after she leaves. I go back to my bed to lie down, exhausted after everything. I put my arm across my eyes to block out the light.

Yuighama-san and Hikigaya-kun. I picture the two of them together. Without me, the relationship between them could have blossomed into something more. It was an all too possible scenario still. It wouldn't be so bad an ending, in truth. Yuigahama-san deserves to be happy. For all the joy she brings to others, she is owed. I would not mind, if they find that happiness together, in each other. No, I don't think I'd mind. Not too much...

Maybe... just maybe... this time... I should let things be.

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 **AN**

Errr... this chap took longer than I expected and did not come out the way I wanted it to be. But I need to move on. Updates might get slower now. RL got busier, so I can't help it. Again, thanks for reviewing!

Also, Hayama will come out a bit later ( the way I want to use him, he won't be too annoying Umami08, I think... ), I'm going to insert a chap or two in between. An idea came up while reading vol 4 and I want to use it so...

btw, I based Yukino's goal on her career choice something in vol 1. I decided to stick with it cause I think it also fits her character. Also, Yukino lives somewhere near the keiyou line ( can't point out which vol it was stated, sry ) but I'm guessing she still lives in chiba. And that commuting from where they live to Tokyo/Tokyo U will be too time consuming that it would be easier if they just buy a house in the city itself.


	7. Chapter 7

"... and that's how it is." I finish.

Beside me, Hikigaya-kun opens his can of Max Coffee with a pondering expression and I take a sip of my barley tea to wet my throat. We were both sitting at a bench in one of the Lib Arts buildings. Both of us had lectures to attend here and we bumped into each other. There was still about half an hour left to kill so we decided to buy drinks and wait together.

Our conversation naturally led to what happened yesterday. He asked about what my mother and I talked about and I tell him most of it. I don't tell him about our family's possible relocation and my transfer, however. It was something I didn't want him or Yuigahama-san to worry about.

"...I see." he turns to me somberly. "I guess that kind of explains why you look so tired. I'm the only one who's supposed to have rotten eyes here. Want some Max Coffee? It'll cure you." he offers kindly.

"...No thanks." I reply, disgruntled by his odd behavior.

"Ah, well...I wonder how much time I have left..." he looks into the distance, I get the feeling that he was thinking loudly and not talking to me.

"...what are you saying?" I frown at him.

"...you don't understand." he sighs and shows me a sad smile. "Let me try to explain with an example. Let's say I hear a rumor about Komachi getting touched by that guy, whatever his name is." he forms his hand into a fist. "Me and pops would track him down and tear him to shreds. Cut his head off and put it on the gate as a trophy. Then run far away so that his brocon sis won't kill me... Wait, that's not it. Um, basically, we'll do this stuff not just because Komachi's cute. But also because pops is the father and I'm the brother. That's just how things are..."

"...is that so." I answer slowly, realizing what he meant. I take another sip to stop myself from laughing at his melodramatic act.

"... and your father... he thinks that you and I... that we..." he looks hauntingly at something faraway.

"...had sex." I smile in sympathy. It was mainly my mother who misunderstood. I'm sure I can convince father to believe otherwise, once he's cooled down and we can talk reasonably about it. But there's no point in telling him that. I rather enjoy seeing his discomfort.

"... and he's going to be a Minister of State, huh? That's awesome..." he takes a sip. "I'm not in any danger aren't I? I won't be found in some back alley, stabbed to death, right?"

"Nonsense." I gesture dismissively. "If anything, they'll be fishing you out of sea. You'll get kidnapped, tortured, and your body dumped over at Tokyo Bay. Much harder to find evidence that way, when your carcass is bloating and rotting, much like your eyes."

"...I-I see. Thank you. I feel better now." he glowers at me and I smile magnanimously.

"You're welcome."

I cross my legs and take another sip of tea. Around me, students were starting to gather, acquaintances and friends gravitating towards one another, forming cliques and groups. There were quite a few of them stealing glances at our direction, classmates of Hikigaya-kun most likely, since his classroom was nearest to our bench. None approach him, however. He was still the same as ever. Someone who stayed at the edge of class, barely noticeable, unpopular, and slightly disgusting. It was a comfort to know.

"Yukinoshita-san?"

I hear my name being called out from one cluster of students. I turn my head to the source and see someone walking towards me, smiling. He was wearing casual clothes, slightly torn jeans and a polo-shirt. His dark hair was swept back and tied into a ponytail, he also wore glasses and looked familiar. He had an aura of confidence about him, bolstered by his looks. From the size of the mob behind him, he was obviously someone popular.

"Yukinoshita-san?" he repeats. "It's me Takatsu-kun. Remember?" he smiles, teeth flashing.

"Ah, yes. Of course I remember." I smile back.

"What a coincidence, bumping into you here. I knew we went to the same college, but I never really saw you here inside campus, you know? Anyway, you waiting for class to start?"

"Yes, my room is two floors above us. That would probably explain why we never meet. I normally don't spend time here." his gaze flickers to Hikigaya-kun.

"...I see. So hey, I'm guessing our classes finish more or less at the same time, right? I was wondering if you'd like to hang out with us? My friends over there won't mind, in fact, I'm sure they'd enjoy your company." he points his thumb at his friends and grins.

"Hm, no thank you. I'm busy, Takatsu-kun. I have somewhere to go after class." I answer.

"Ah, I see, well, that makes sense." he scratches his head, awkwardly. "So, maybe next time then? Ah, can I get your num-"

"Takatsu-kun," I interrupt him. "I appreciate the invite, but I really do prefer not to socialize with people outside my circle. We'll see each other in the next party or gathering, won't we? We'll talk then." I smile to take the sting off my rejection.

"Oh... okay... I guess that's fine." he shuffles his feet. "Well, I should head back, I'll see you around then?"

"Yes, see you." I reply.

He walks back with a sigh, shoulders slightly slumped, I watch him go.

"Smooth as always." I hear Hikigaya-kun snicker.

"He isn't so bad." I sigh. "Not as bad as the others at least."

"Who was that idiot?" Hikigaya-kun frowns at his back. "He looks kind of familiar..." he then turns to me with a curious expression. "...what do you mean by 'others'?"

"He comes from a family of wealthy farmers. They own several farms up north Kanto and are responsible for supplying a considerable portion of the daily produce needs of several cities here in Chiba. He attends the same social gatherings and municipal events I go to, so we're acquainted. He is one of the many men my mother wants me to befriend." I grumble the last part.

"Takatsu-kun... farms..." Hikigaya-kun's eyes widen in surprise. "Hey, he was my grade school classmate! The bastard who gave me corn..." he grits his teeth.

"What're you talking about?" I look at him askance.

"We were acquaintances once." he shakes his head. "Anyway, what was that about your mother?"

"Oh. Her." I frown in displeasure. "She enjoys playing matchmaker you see. Some of her acquaintances have sons who are, more or less, the same age as us. She likes to introduce me to them, to foster friendship she claims. It's like the play groups we had back when we were children, only infinitely worse."

"O-Oh, " he stares at me blankly for a second. "...must be tough." he says with sympathy.

"Yes, it was." I remember the awkward silences and the wine. These encounters were the main reason why I became tolerant of alcohol. I sipped wine to have something to do and distract myself. I probably consumed more than a bottle's worth every time I go to a party. The excuse to use the bathroom became useful as well, though I sometimes worry that people might think I have a bladder problem.

"Well... if you meet him again, give him the cold shoulder for me, okay? Bastard didn't even notice me..." he complains.

"Him not noticing you does not make him a bad person, Hikigaya-kun." I tell him kindly. "Only weak at heart."

"Oh, right. He isn't a bad person at all, compared to you that is."

"How rude."

"You're the one who's rude here though."

We stay quiet after our exchange. Watching the people gather and listening to their chatter. Even though there were more students arriving, the area surrounding our bench remained relatively vacant. It was a vacuum created by our combined presence. His repellant aura and my intimidating one. I finish drinking my tea and check the time. I still have 15 minutes left till next class. It should be about time for me to go up. I move to stand.

"Hey..."

I stop myself and look at him, tilting my head in question.

"How're things at your place?" he asks, his expression one of concern.

"...it's not so bad, all things considered. It is vexing, however, being grounded and losing my apartment." I put my hand on my chin. "My mother demanded a copy of my class schedule, so I can't stay out too late even though she's usually busy and we often don't see each other. Nee-san is a constant pain, she's the one who enforces my curfew and I avoid her as much as I can. But I'm sure things will settle down after some time has passed. When it does, I plan to get my apartment back."

"Oh, well, guess you'll just have to weather this one out huh... I still feel bad about it though, anything I can do to help you?"

"You could talk to my parents perhaps?" I say with a tinge of hope.

"Nope. Anything else I can do?" he answers immediately.

"...you really are worthless." I look at him with admiration. Truly a good for nothing who stays true to his nature.

"Stop it, you." he frowns. "But seriously, I can't do that now, not with your parents the way they are..."

"True. Well then, it seems we have no choice but to wait things out. I'll be going up now, Hikigaya-kun." I smile longingly. "I hope to see you again..."

"Ohh, trying to raise my death flag are you? Nice try." he gestures dismissively, shooing me away. "See you around."

I wave farewell and walk towards the stairs, the students' gaze following me.

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"Yahallo Yukinon!"

I head over to Yuigahama-san's table carrying my tray. After class, I received a text message from her, asking me to have lunch with her at the cafeteria and to talk about our plans to eat at the dessert buffet, as well as the slumber party. We agreed to meet at 1 in the afternoon and I was 15 minutes early.

"Hello, Yuigahama-san," I greet, I then nod at her companions. "Ebina-san, Miura-san."

"Yukinoshita-san, hello!" Ebina-san waves energetically.

"Hey..." responds Miura-san offhandedly, her attention focused on texting.

"Oh, um, Yukinon. Yumiko and Hina are free later as well so I decided to invite them to eat at the buffet with us." she explains.

"Ah, about that..." I put the tray on the table and take a seat next to her. I try to talk about my situation but stop when Miura-san stands up from her seat.

"Ah, sorry about this Yui, but I have to go somewhere. It's important." she puts her phone inside her shoulder bag jerkily and gives us all a somewhat apologetic and uncomfortable look.

"Ehhh? Yumiko, is there something wrong?" Yuigahama-san asks worriedly, her face scrunched up.

"...It's nothing." she flicks her hair, looking distracted. "I'll text you later okay? I'll meet you guys at the cafe."

"Ah, I'm coming too." Ebina-san addresses Miura-san, slowly rising from her seat. She then looks at us cheerfully. "Yui, let's text each other later okay! Yukinoshita-san, I'll see you there!" she waves.

Miura-san nods at me and I smile at them both in return. Yuigahama-san then waves them farewell. They turn toward the exit and start walking.

"Ahh, Yumiko!" Yuigahama-san calls out suddenly.

Beside me, I see Yuigahama-san bending down to grab something from the floor. It was a small plastic bag with a receipt. There was a small rectangular shaped container inside it. Miura-san glances at it and her cheeks flush red. She then walks over to take it from Yuigahama-san's proffered hand. Quickly hiding it inside her bag.

"Um, thanks, Yui."

"No problem, what was it?" Yuigahama-san tilts her head, curious.

"Nothing really important, anyway, I have to go. See you guys later m'kay?." Miura-san gives me and Yuigahama-san another nod of farewell before hastily withdrawing, Ebina-san following behind her.

"What was that all about?" Yuigahama-san mumbles, she then turns her attention to me. "Well, anyway, Yukinon, sorry I invited them without asking you first... It's okay right?"

"Of course it is. I'm glad you invited them." I pause and sigh. "But the thing is, Yuigahama-san, I can't actually go with you."

"Ehhh!? Why?"

Her eyes widen in surprise and she bounces in her seat. I unwrap my sandwich and start to explain.

"I've been grounded. My class today ends at 4:30, if I'm not back by 5:30, my mother will notice and start looking for me. I'm staying at my parents' house as well. They've taken away my apartment."

"W-What!? But why? What happened?"

"My mother is very strict. You know this well. She heard about what happened last Saturday. About me returning home late and with Hikigaya-kun. She misunderstood." I shrug.

"...Oooh." Yuigahama-san puts her hand to the side of her head and groans. "I-I'm sorry, Yukinon. This was my fault. I wanted you to go to karaoke with us and I didn't think about the time..."

"Oh, no it isn't. It was my mistake. I was careless." I tell her placatingly. I hadn't thought she'd see it this way.

"Ungh, but it is." she pouts. "You wouldn't be in this mess if I hadn't told Yumiko to take you with us."

"...and I was glad you did. I had a great time." I smile comfortingly. "The misunderstanding, my mother's actions, these things were inevitable. It was just a matter of time before my mother makes an attempt to get me back home. She used this incident to make her move..." Though she probably did not expect to be genuinely upset over it, a victory that left a bitter taste.

"Muuuh, I'm so sorry, Yukinon!" she yells and flings herself out of her seat to hug me, her cheek pressing against mine.

"S-stop it." I lean away from her, trying to keep my distance. People at other tables were starting to notice us and it was embarrassing. I use my elbow to put some space between us.

"But! But! Yukinon... what about our afternoon meet-ups? Or our regular Saturday dates? How are we going to spend time with one another?" she wails.

Is this how it feels to have a clingy boyfriend I wonder? Endearing as she is, her act can get very annoying. Especially in public.

"Yuigahama-san, " I sigh, exasperated. "We can still have lunch together. I also think you should worry more on how much time you spend on your studies and less on time you spend with me. It's really not so bad."

"But the time I spend with Yukinon is important too! Like I get to learn a lot of stuff when I'm with you! Like how Pan-san was written by some guy for his son, or how fish should be cleaned before you do anything to them, or how directors are the ones held responsible when a movie turns out bad and that it's our civic responsibility to crucify them for it!"

"... those have nothing to do with your studies though." I tap my finger on my temple. "And that last one sounds like something Hikigaya-kun would say."

"Ah, yeah, maybe..." she pulls away, thinking.

"Yuigahama-san, I won't be grounded forever. Once my mother feels that she's punished me enough, she'll let me go out. We can spend more time then. But for now, we'll just have to settle for lunch." I put my hand on her shoulder and squeeze.

"Ohh, I-I guess you're right." she smiles at me and sighs. "I guess I'll have to tell Iroha-chan that we'll have to postpone the slumber party huh. We were kinda looking forward to it too... I'll still feel lonely you know..."

"Well..." I ponder. "Why don't you invite Hikigaya-kun out instead?"

"H-Huh!? Hikki!?" she stammers, eyes widening in surprise.

"Yes, why not? Instead of doing the usual things with me on Saturday, why not do it with him instead?"

"W-what!? L-like s-sharing spoons, t-taking baths, and s-sleeping together!?" she blushes bright red.

"Well, obviously not." I frown at her disapprovingly. "Just watching movies and maybe eating out... What are you even thinking?" If she's aware of how invasive her actions are, why does she keep doing it? I start to feel somewhat dissatisfied.

"Oh, haha," she laughs uncomfortably. "Right. Um, well, I guess that's... but... is it really okay, I wonder..." she looks down on her lap, stealing glances at me.

"...yes, it is." I answer.

"...o-oh, then, um, I'll see if he's available..." she mutters.

I go back to my lunch, Yuigahama-san sitting closer beside me. I try to keep thoughts of the future away for now and just enjoy her company.

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 **AN**

And here's another set-up chap. With not much editing too! Not like editing it more makes it a whole lot better... Onwards to the next one then.

sinisteran - whoops!

just kidding. I thought about it and I actually do have 2 good reasons why that 'solution' wouldn't work. First one is the Yukinoshita family name and circumstances. Remember, this is a family who didn't want Haruno to go to a better college ( a private one me thinks, implied in vol 5 ) because it wouldn't fit the family image. I just think that it's really unlikely for Yukimom to suggest a check up, it would be something I think she'd believe 'beneath' her or her family. Like, 'I need you to check my daughter's hymen please' is a line she'd never utter under any pain or duress. Yukino won't do it cause of pride too.

The other reason is more 'convincing'. But I can't say it yet because I plan to use this reason in a future chap. You'll figure it out once I get there. But here's a clue, it's something I thought of after reading one of the earlier volumes. If you or anybody figures it out, pls don't post it in a review! ( but post a review anyway! ;D )

Zallow/Cloud9 - I hadn't thought of that. Why'd you have to make me remember that damn series? Now I'm having ideas... hahah... but srsly, I don't think I can do heavy drama well, bits of it will be there ofc, but I won't take that route and follow it all the way.


	8. Chapter 8

"Congratulations on your promotion."

"Ah, thank you, Yukino."

"So," I sigh. "when will you be coming home father? I haven't seen much of you this past two weeks." I say, my tone mildly accusing.

"Well, I've been busy lately. And now with the promotion finally official, I don't think I'll be back for a while." I grip my phone hard in annoyance.

"...I see. Well then, I guess I shouldn't keep you."

"...Oh, hmm, y-yes," I hear him clear his throat. "but Yukino, we'll probably see each other in a few days. Your mother is planning on celebrating this event and she'll want you and Haruno to be present. The party will be held here in Tokyo, I believe."

"...very well. I'll see you then, father." I hang up.

I put my phone back inside my bag and sigh. It's been two weeks since my mother took away my apartment and grounded me. The days flew by without much happening so I occupied myself with my studies and caught up to my reading. I was still not allowed to go out during the evenings and weekends without permission but that was fine. My mother's mood does seem to be better though. Talking to her was still far from pleasant, but at least we've stopped being upset just by being around each other's presence.

My father, on the other hand, was sulking. At first I thought he was just busy and didn't have time to stay long at home. But eventually, it became quite obvious that he was avoiding me. Maybe he was in denial, trapped in a delusion he made for himself from the misunderstanding, or perhaps he was ashamed that he let my mother discipline me so, whatever the reason, my father was acting like an idiot. Because of this, it was impossible for me to clear things up with him. I wasn't able to defend myself, I wasn't given a chance.

As for Yuigahama-san, she and I have been meeting less and less. Though we communicate through text and calls more frequently to compensate. Final Exams were under way, in any case. She was upset with the arrangement, but I constantly remind her that it was better this way. Knowing how easily distracted she is, I worry that she won't pass if she keeps on playing around, despite her luck. Hikigaya-kun too, was busy. And since we rarely send trivial messages and the like, I haven't heard much from him. It was expected but somewhat disappointing. I wouldn't have minded receiving a text message once in a while. I do get to see him occasionally in campus but it was always when one or both of us were heading for class, so we never get to talk.

"Yukinoshita-san?"

A pretty lady in her mid 30's opens the door and looks at me. I raise my hand in acknowledgement.

"The Dean will see you now." she smiles and gestures me inside.

I take the documents on my lap and straighten them out. I stand up and walk in. There's a small desk in the middle of the room, presumably hers. The secretary then turns and opens an unmarked door on the left, I go inside. There I see a middle aged man with a kind face, he was wearing eye glasses that made his eyes look owlish. When he sees me, he blinks rapidly and smiles.

"You must be Yukinoshita-san. My, I'm quite surprised. You look exactly like her."

"Her?" I tilt my head, baffled.

"Your mother. She and I were schoolmates once. I also get to attend one or two municipal events your family hosts yearly so I guess you can say that we're acquaintances too."

"...I see." I frown and take a seat. It wasn't the first time someone has remarked about me and my mother's resemblance. They meant it as a compliment of sorts, of course, but it was one that I found disturbing and unpleasant. We may be similar in looks, but that's where it ends. She and I were completely different inside.

"Well, then," he puts his elbows on the table and leans forward. "I suppose there's nothing I can do to change your mind is there?"

"No, and it's not my mind you need to change." I look down on my papers.

"Ah, is that how it is? I guess it can't be helped then." he sighs sadly. "It's a shame. You are a merit to this university Yukinoshita-san, losing you will be painful for us."

"Thank you for your kind words, sir." I smile. "I have grown quite fond of this school as well. I'd rather not transfer really. But my parents are adamant that I do. I'm sorry but there's not much I can do to convince them otherwise. I've tried, but I'm afraid I haven't been too convincing."

"It's nothing you should apologize for." he smiles back. "Anyway, here, let me have those."

I pass over my transfer documents. The semester wasn't over yet but my mother wanted me to take care of this as early as possible. Normally, the final grades were required before the documents could be signed, but with my parents notifying the school beforehand as well as my excellent grades, I was an exception.

"Here." he says after signing. "Well, Tokyo University it is then. Though I'm saddened to let you go, I'm glad that you're leaving for greener pastures. I'm sure you'll do well there."

"Thank you. I appreciate your help in this matter." I bow slightly in gratitude. I take the documents and put them in a folder.

"It's nothing. Tell your father congratulations for me, by the way."

"I will." I stand up and leave.

Outside, in direct contrast to my mood, the afternoon sun shone brightly. It was now the third week of March and my second year in college was about to end, my last semester here in this campus. I head for the exit slowly, looking around and feeling melancholic. In a few months I'll be in a different campus; new teachers to learn from, new places to go to, and new faces to familiarize with. It was a depressing thought.

I leave the building and head towards the main gate. Yuigahama-san and I made no plans to meet today, since her afternoon schedule was full. There was nothing for me to do but go home. I do need to tell her about my transfer, however. The sooner the better. But I've been putting it off, mainly because I had not given up on believing I could stay. But with my father's appointment now official...

I sigh tiredly. How badly would she react to the news, I wonder? She'll be very upset, I'm sure. But she'll have to understand. Just because I'm far away, doesn't mean our friendship will end. Tokyo is only around 45 minutes away if you take the train. We could still meet during the weekends. If we aren't too busy with our studies at least. I could visit every other week and she'll do the same for me.

As for Hikigaya-kun... I frown and flick my hair in annoyance. He certainly wouldn't bother. He'd tag along with Yuigahama-san whenever I'd drop by perhaps, and if Yuigahama-san's insists, he might go with her to visit me. But if it were up to him, I doubt he'd have the motivation to come see me. But that's something he knows I'll understand. Despite his worthlessness, he is quite diligent in his studies. If only because there's nothing there to distract him. This is something he and I both share. So he probably thinks I wouldn't be too upset if we don't see each other frequently because of school work and such.

But that's just how it is. You could say that this development was something inevitable.

The service club brought the three of us together - and maybe one more, if you add Isshiki-san. And when we graduated and went to college, putting an end to our days in the clubroom, we made a promise to go to the same college, an attempt to stick together despite everything.

The time we spent together became considerably less, however. Yuigahama-san was determined to keep us together anyway, and she made an effort to spend time with us. Hikigaya-kun and I obliged. College almost became an extension of our club room days, albeit more busy and with significantly less tea.

But after college, what then? We find a job. Start a career. Possibly meet new friends. Will the distance between the 3 of us continue to grow until we disappear from each other's sights?

I reach the gates in a somber mood and pause when a motorcycle abruptly stops in front of me. It was an old model and a bit loud. The passenger, a female, takes her helmet off with a haughty flick of her blonde hair and gives me a look.

"Miura-san." I say with a little surprise. This was the first time I've ever seen her riding behind a motorcycle.

"Oh, hi there." she greets me in her usual way.

I take a look at the driver. A male, whose face was previously hidden by his helmet, gives me a friendly wave in greeting.

"Hello, Yukinoshita-san."

"Hayama-kun? When did you get a motorcycle?"

"Oh, this?" He gives me a smile and pats the engine lovingly. "This was my father's. He gave me the keys just last weekend. As a reward for making Dean's list."

"Oh," I look at it dubiously. I guess it's a nice motorcycle? It looked nice, polished and clean. It definitely looked fast. "Congratulations."

"Thanks." he replies.

"Hayato, I'll be going in now. Will you pick me up later?" Miura-san hands over her helmet while she gets off. She quickly opens a compact to check her appearance.

"Uh, sure, Yumiko. Just text me when you're done."

"Oh okay, thanks." she smiles at him before walking away, she then nods at me in an offhand manner.

"Good luck." Hayato-kun calls after her. She continues walking, waving her hand in response. The both of us look on until she enters campus.

"Hey."

I turn around and tilt my head in question.

"I heard about your father. Looks like things are going to get busy on your end, huh?"

"Yes, " I sigh. "unfortunately."

"Hmm," he gives me a curious look. "well, anyway, where are you heading? I'll give you a ride." he gestures with the extra helmet.

I give the motorcycle a nervous look. It was kind of him to offer, but riding that thing may not be something I can handle well. I was never good with thrill rides, and the motorcycle, to me, was something of a similar nature. Besides, it is a well known fact that a good number of motorcycle accidents end up being fatal...

I shake my head no. "Thank you, but..."

"Oh, right." he smiles wryly at me, seeing right through me. It's odd, how in many ways, he and I are still so familiar with each other. "Well, I should get going then. I have errands to run."

"Yes, I should be on my way as well." I turn away from him and nod goodbye.

"...wait, Yukinoshita-san."

I pause to glance back and he looks at me hesitantly.

"Are you busy? Do you have free time later?"

I frown. "Why?"

He shrugs. "I was wondering if you could have dinner with me. There's something I want to talk about."

...Dinner? Just the two of us?

"We're talking now." I answer.

He gestures at the surrounding. "It's better if we talk somewhere less distracting."

I shake my head. Seeing no reason to indulge him. "No. I'm a bit tired. Besides, I'm grounded. I'm not allowed to go out at night."

"Ah, well then..."

He nods at my answer and smiles. He then starts the engine and puts on his helmet, giving me one final wave of farewell before leaving. I turn around and walk towards the bus stop, still frowning and wondering why.

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"Bring her home before 9, Hayato." my mother says with a smile.

"Yes, ma'am."

I get inside the passenger seat and close the door behind me while Hayama-kun waves at my mother. He smiles at me briefly and pulls out of the driveway.

"...that was decidedly underhanded." I mutter.

He gives me a dry laugh "...you wouldn't accept my invite if I just asked you out though. Besides, since you're grounded, asking your mother's permission first only makes sense."

I stay quiet the rest of the way. Hayama-kun didn't seem to mind. He hasn't said anything about why we were going out and he doesn't seem worried. He of all people should know what this would look like to outsiders, another misunderstanding could come out of this evening. But then again, it was highly unlikely that people would see us together, he was considerate enough to pick a restaurant no one we knew would go to.

We arrive at the restaurant around 7. The place is crowded but we find no difficulty in finding a seat, Hayama-kun had called beforehand to get reservations and my mother helped. A waiter leads us to our table, one placed beside the windows with an overlooking view of the city.

"Well, this is nice." he says, taking it all in. I nod in agreement. The restaurant was inside a hotel, located in one of the upper floors. The view was breathtaking and the ambiance was classy.

The waiter arrives and hands us the menu. We give him our orders and wait. I look out the window and enjoy the view in the meantime. From here I could see the sea on the horizon, coupled with the lights of the city, it was beautiful.

"So..." I hear Hayama-kun clear his throat. "...I hear you're transferring to another school."

I frown. "...who told you?"

"My father, or I guess, your mother. She came to visit us a few days ago. She talked about your father's imminent promotion and how the family was going to transfer to Tokyo to make a show of support."

"I see."

He makes an uncomfortable expression.

"Look, I'm sorry for involving your mother in this. Well, truth is, it was her suggestion that day that I take you to dinner anyway so..."

"Why didn't you say no?"

"I did. Or at least, I told her I was busy."

"Then what's this?" I gesture at everything.

"Well," he pauses and looks at me apologetically. "I really wanted to talk to you about your transfer. I was with Yumiko and the others yesterday. Yuigahama-san was there with us and..." he stops and I sigh in understanding.

I rub my forehead and close my eyes. "You didn't..."

"No, I didn't, but...when do you plan to tell her?" he adds, his voice soft.

"In due time."

"When the transfer's done? When it's too late?"

He shakes his head and gives me a wry smile. I click my tongue.

"This has nothing to do with you, Hayama-kun. You don't have to look out for me."

"Yes, I understand." his smile turns bitter. "But she's my friend as well. You could say that I'm looking out for her."

"That doesn't change anything. This is between her and I. Besides, it's final exam week, I don't want to upset her at this time."

The waiter arrives with our meal and we focus our attention on it, ending the conversation. The somewhat heavy mood disappears completely when we start eating, the food was wonderful. We continue eating in silence broken by occasional comments about taste and other triviality, both of us content in steering clear from the previous topic.

After a while, we finish our meals and order dessert. The waiter clears our table and we both end up looking outside. On the glass's reflection, I could see our silhouette. Hayama-kun and I, sitting across one another. Looking at us, it would be easy to assume that we were a couple. And if things had played out differently, maybe we would have been.

"...this is nice." Hayama-kun looks at me through my reflection, his voice wistful.

"Really?" I say, doubtful. True, the evening wasn't so bad. But wouldn't we be happier if we were in somebody else's company? Though that someone else probably wouldn't be able to afford taking me here, in my case. Not that he should, anyway. I sigh. What am I even thinking?

"Your mother " he smiles wryly at my reaction. "and my father wants to set us up, you know. It's one of the things she talked about when she came to visit. Your mother was very...persuasive. My father has been fond of the idea for some time as well."

"...and you don't want to disappoint them, I suppose." I say, my voice tinged with disgust. Hayama Hayato. A puppet surrounded by strings, pulled on by everyone around him, always finding a compromise. Was this the real reason he asked me out?

"...it's not like that, not really. I mean, yes, I may have set this up to make it look that way but..." he looks at me, suddenly serious. "This time it's different."

"What are you saying?" I scoff. "You always end up doing what they expect of you."

"...maybe so." he looks down at his hands. "But I want that to change."

"...and how will you accomplish that?" I say, unconvinced.

"For starters, I plan to introduce Yumiko to my parents."

I stare at him, surprised. I lean back on my chair and cross my arms, my mouth slightly open.

"...well then." I eventually say.

"Yeah," he smiles with a hint of mischief. "I think I'll do it at the party this weekend. I'll take her as my date. My father expects me to take you though and it'll be a bit of a surprise."

"That's good." I say grudgingly. I was starting to feel glad, for him, but mostly for Miura-san.

"Yes, it is." he looks out at the city, pondering. "She's been following me, all these years... and I've been so unfair to her... so this time, I finally made a decision. I want things to be clear between Yumiko and I..."

"Yes, that would be best. I'm sure she'll be happy if you do." I tell him sincerely.

"Thanks," he turns to me and smiles gently. "...what about you?"

I feel suddenly uneasy. "What about me?"

"...shouldn't you make things clear between the three of you?"

"...it's already settled."

"You've made your choice then?"

"I have." I turn away.

On the window's reflection, I see him shake his head.

"I don't think so." he gives me a self-deprecating smile. "I should know."

I glare half-heartedly. Was he right? Transferring to a different school. Taking my sister's role. In the end, I am simply helping myself. Tokyo University is considered the best in Japan. Attending events and acting as my father's representative will only help me in my career. There was nothing wrong with agreeing to my mother's demands. I can still keep what I have. Yuigahama-san and I will always stay friends, even if we seldom see each other. Hikigaya-kun as well. I'll make sure the bonds we have won't atrophy. Distance isn't much of a factor, and with cell phones and the internet, communication won't be a problem as well.

I close my eyes and breathe out. "...it's fine, the way things are now..."

I hear him sigh. "I wonder about that. I'm sure it looks that way. But is this what you really want?"

"What do you mean?" I reply, annoyed. "Of course it is."

"...is that so?" he plays around with his glass. "You've known him for years, and for most of that, you've been-"

"Enough." I interrupt, putting steel in my voice. This was something he had no right to ask about.

He frowns. "But if you leave, surely you know-"

"I said stop it." I hiss angrily and he blinks. He shuts his mouth and looks at something behind me.

"Ah, dessert." he says, a little in relief.

The waiter arrives with our order, a slice of pineapple pie and chocolate fudge. I busy myself with the pie, the tangy taste distracting me from my dark thoughts. We let the mood die and talk about other things instead, our studies, exams, and other trivial matters. The evening passes by more pleasantly, reminiscent of times long past.

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We arrive a quarter after 8 o'clock. I step out of the car and turn to bid him goodbye.

"Thank you, Hayama-kun. It was fun." I tell him. Indeed, despite my earlier expectations, I did rather enjoy myself.

"Ah, thank you too." he grins. "I had fun as well. Though I doubt we'll get to do this again."

"True." I smile and nod in agreement. Miura-san would not approve of this, I'm sure.

I close the car door and wave. He honks and pulls out of the driveway. I then walk inside the house, locking the door behind me.

"Sooooo, what's this Yukino-chan? Are we two-timing now?"

I click my tongue and change my shoes. I climb the stairs and head for my bedroom.

"Hey, that's mean! Don't ignore me!" Nee-san whines, following right behind me.

"...what do you want?" I pause on top of the stairs, irritated.

"Nothing!" she gives me a quick smile. "Just wanted to know what you were up to, that's all."

"Hayama-kun and I had dinner." I answer. "That's all."

"Really? Why?"

"There were things we needed to talk about." I gesture offhandedly to indicate they weren't important.

"What things?"

"It's none of your business." I glare. Can't she take a hint?

"You're adorable when you get mad you know." she smiles at me teasingly.

I sigh and walk away. I hear her footsteps behind me.

"...what?" I turn back and scowl. "I'm tired. I'm going to bed."

She laughs. "Um, have you decided on what dress to wear this weekend?"

"...No. I'll just grab whatever." I continue walking.

"You won't mind if I pick your dress for you then?" she calls out.

"I don't care." I hesitate and look back at my sister. What was she planning? "Why are you asking me this?"

She puts her hand on her hip and shrugs. "I want you to look your best, Yukino-chan. You'll be greeting the guests when they arrive and you'll be helping me organize the event. I want us to dazzle." she grins.

"Fine." I roll my eyes. "Do what you want."

I enter my room and close the door behind me. I change quickly and head for the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face. I go back to my room afterwards, locking the door behind me, just in case Nee-san decides to bother me again.

I start to comb my hair pensively, counting to a hundred. The party was this weekend. The venue was already decided and mostly everything else as well. There wasn't much left to organize. I will help in supervising the event however, there was no need for Nee-san to ask me about it.

I put my comb back to its drawer and lie on my bed. Next week, once exams are over, I'll need to tell Yuigahama-san about my transfer. I have to say it in person and I must be honest with her. She'll understand, I know she will. She'll be happier too, in the long run.

I twist and turn in my bed. Even though I'm exhausted, sleep seemed to be hours away.

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 **AN**

Damn, sorry this came out really late. Got really busy and couldn't find much time to write ( to work is to lose! damnit! ). I'll try to upload faster on the next one, but no promises! To the guys who've subscribed to this story, and for those who keep reviewing, thanks! I'll make sure to finish this fic.

Oh and I'm at least half-way done with this fic FFleon, I think I have around... 5 or 6 chaps left to write. I'll add a few bonus chaps if I feel like it.

Also, reviews are welcome! Wouldn't mind critique too!


	9. Chapter 9

"...okay, what's this?"

"It's your dress, silly!"

I stare at the dress in question, picking it up.

It was a black sheath evening gown with a neck strap. The front was slightly revealing but otherwise tolerable. The main problem was the back, or lack thereof.

"I think you'll look great in it." she says, grinning impishly.

"Hmm..." I put the dress back in the bag. "Nee-san, let's switch. You wear this dress and I'll wear yours."

"What are you saying?" she laughs and puffs up her chest. "You'll look pretty funny if you wear mine."

I glance at her resentfully. Her red dress clung to her figure, particularly her bosom. It would, indeed, look terrible on me.

"Are you sure you didn't bring any other dress with you?" I ask, hopeful.

"Nope! I didn't bring any extras, sorry!" she exclaims, not sounding the least bit apologetic.

I put pressure on my temple and sigh. This was partly my fault, I suppose. I should've seen this coming, knowing Nee-san. I should've brought my own dress, or worn one before coming. Arriving early in casual clothes now seemed like a bad idea on hindsight. But still...

"...why are you doing this? You know father will be here, along with dozens of members of the Liberal Party. And you want me to wear this ridiculous dress?"

"You're too naive, Yukino-chan. This isn't my first rodeo, you know. It's at events like these that we need to stand out. Attention can be used as currency in this game, you should know that if you want to play." she looks at the dress and taps a finger on her chin. "There's nothing wrong with that dress, you know. If you have the confidence to pull it off that is. Is it too much for you then? Is this something you can't handle?"

"There was no need for cheap provocation." I mutter. "Leave. I'll start changing now."

I shoo Nee-san away and she leaves the room chuckling, I close and lock the door behind her. I then go back and pick up the dress, inspecting it, sighing. No point in whining now.

I take my shirt off carefully, trying my best not to mess my hair. I then pull my pants off. Holding the dress in front of me, I inspect it one last time and try it on.

It was a perfect fit, not too tight and not too loose. It was also form fitting. Accentuating the curve of my hips. The breast area was pleated in a way that made it look as if I had more there than there was. I frown at it. I wonder if Nee-san took that into consideration when she picked this dress? She didn't have to, my figure was fine as it was.

Feeling myself blush, I look at the mirror and twirl before it. The dress exposed most of my back, but with my long hair, I was able to reduce the amount of skin shown. I take my bra off and adjust the strap, making sure I wasn't revealing anything I shouldn't, I then study my reflection.

"It doesn't dip too low at least." I mumble glumly, looking at my back. It _does_ look nice, I add grudgingly.

I grab my heels and put them on to complete the picture, I then store my casual clothes along with my sandals in the duffle bag Nee-san brought. I take out my cell phone from my jeans and put it in my purse instead. I then close the duffle bag and exit the ladies room.

"Oh my! Look at you!" Nee-san claps her hands in delight.

"Here." I hand over the duffle bag. "I'm going to check the food and drinks. I'll be with you shortly."

"Okay then, I'll be at the reception area near the lounge." she walks away with a wave.

Nee-san's role in organizing the party was over. She was the one to who made the seating arrangements. Making sure guests were among friends or at the very least, among friendly acquaintances. It was a job she alone could do, being friendly and acquainted with most of them. It was then my responsibility that her instructions were followed and the food - as well as the drinks - prepared in time.

I start walking towards the kitchen area and I check the time. Mother was at the office with father and Nee-san will be making calls for last minute confirmation. It was my responsibility to make sure everything went according to schedule.

Inside the kitchen, the chefs and their staff were busy preparing, the noise of cooking and cutlery were at its peak. The head chef notices me and approaches.

"Hi, um, ma'am." he greets me, somewhat awkwardly. He was the head chef of a famous hotel and I was someone 2 decades younger. It was understandable but I didn't have time to be considerate.

"I'd like to sample the dishes now, please." I put on authority like a well worn shirt.

"Yes, ma'am." he makes a slight bow. "This way, please."

We walk deeper into the kitchen until we reach a long metal table. Arrayed on it were sample dishes of the evening. There were 3 different 5 course meals on the table. Each course having different components with an entree of either pork, poultry or fish. The guests were given a menu beforehand and the option to choose which meal they would prefer. Normally, having a 5 course meal at a hotel would've been a very expensive affair but since the owner was father's friend, we were given a considerable discount. Mainly, the food was ours to pay while the staff was free. This being the case, we chose to make the event a little more extravagant.

The chefs assistants and staff were standing behind each plate, looking at me slightly nervously . They were in order and the presentation was more than satisfactory. As for the taste...

I take the spoon beside each dish and sample them one by one. They were exquisite.

"I'd like more dressing on the salad. More chocolate on that dessert. Don't skimp on the foie gras. Otherwise, well done." I add sincerely.

"Thank you, ma'am." the chef smiles proudly. He then nods at his staff. "Your suggestions will be noted."

"Who's in charge of the cocktail bar?" I ask.

"Right this way, ma'am."

We walk to the side, approaching a man who was carrying a portfolio and giving away instructions to a group of young men. The head chef nudges him with his elbow.

"You're in charge of the bar?"

"Yes, I am." he blinks at me.

"I'm here to make sure everything's okay. How are things on your end?"

"Oh, we're fine miss." he nods.

"What drinks will you be serving?"

"We have a fine selection of wine and cocktails," he pulls out a sheet from his portfolio and hands it over. "We'll be serving the drinks on that menu. Along with the usual non-alcoholic beverages of course."

I examine the list of drinks. They had a varied and impressive selection. I nod satisfactorily.

"How many stations will you set up?"

"Two, one on the left side of the ballroom and one across."

"Good. If you're serving cocktails, make sure the wait time is less than a minute. Also notify the guests that you serve mocktails. Those who don't take alcohol might be interested."

"Yes, miss." he nods affirmative.

I walk away, the head chef following close behind.

"Do you have enough men with you?"

"Yes ma'am. One waiter will be assigned for each table, ready to take any requests. There are enough servers currently on shift as well, so dinner will be served promptly. The chefs are all quite capable and I guarantee that each dish will be given the same amount of treatment."

"Wonderful. I will make sure father knows about the hard work you and your staff put out."

He bows at me in gratitude. We reach the entrance to the kitchen and I turn around to face him.

"If there's any problem at all, please don't hesitate to approach me."

"Yes, ma'am." he gives me another bow.

I leave and head towards the lobby. There I find my sister, laughing with one of the receptionists. She sees me and waves me over.

"Are you done?" she asks.

"Yes," I answer. "We should go inside. We'll welcome the guests there."

"m'kay!" she waves farewell at the receptionists and we walk towards the ballroom. She then hooks her arm on my elbow.

"So," she clears her throat. "You remember the names and faces of the guests?"

"Of course." I try to pry my arm loose.

"Table arrangements?" She tightens her grip.

"Memorized." I tug at my arm.

We continue tugging at each other, Nee-san asking me question after question and I answering them. By the time we reach the ballroom, I was ready to claw her face off.

We position ourselves near the entrance. Ready to greet the guests and guide them towards their assigned seats. It was already 5 and dinner was to start an hour and a half from now. There was a good chance that some of them would be arriving early.

I take a peek inside the ballroom just to make sure everything was ready. The tables were arranged the way we wanted them to. The drink bars were now manned. And from a side door, I could see several waiters walking out and heading towards different corners of the room. A small space was cleared in front of the stage. The mini-orchestra and the band were all set-up. The pianist was on standby and the sound system equipment seemed to be at the right place. All seemed well.

I open my purse and check my phone for any messages. There were none. Father had something to deal with at the office and mother was accompanying him, it wouldn't do for him to be late at his own party.

"Ah, someone's coming."

I jerk at hearing Nee-san's voice and I glance at the far end of the hallway where I see a group of men and women in formal attire walking towards us.

"Staff. Secretaries, PR men, a few interns... I recognize some of them." Nee-san explains. "They're invited of course. They come in handy at social gatherings such as this one. They socialize, mingle, share information and arrange meetings. All the trivial stuff. They're sort of like us. Only they aren't working for their mother." she adds dryly.

I nod, silently agreeing. "Let's welcome them then."

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Most of the guests arrive just before 6 pm. They came in pairs or in groups, a minute or two in between. Nee-san took care of the VIPs, while I welcomed those who were slightly lower in the social hierarchy. This was something we silently agreed upon. She was used to handling guests, charming them and making jokes. In this area, I was not so gifted. The dress did compensate for that however. Since more than half of our guests were males, and those who I welcomed were young, they were suitably impressed. Even if I were to insult their mothers in front of them, I doubt they would have noticed. I pointed them to their seats and treated them briskly.

Our parents arrive not long after, together with the Hayamas. Hayama-kun himself, however, was not with them.

"Yukino, how are things?" My father asks, on the other side, mother and Nee-san strike up a conversation.

"Fine. More than half the guests have arrived."

"That's good then... Um..." he frowns. "That dress..."

"Is completely Nee-san's fault." I finish for him.

"...I see." he sighs tiredly, watching Nee-san with an amused expression. "I should go in."

"Father, I'd like to talk to you about my apartment..."

"Ah, yes. About that. Can it wait?"

I click my tongue in annoyance. "Fine, I guess it can. Go, father, your guests are waiting."

He gives me a hesitant nod. I smile and give a nod of welcome for the Hayamas. I then look ahead, looking for the next guest to arrive. I hear my father utter another sigh before going in.

A few minutes pass together with half a dozen guests. In the distance, I see two familiar faces approach, together with an auburn haired man in glasses. Beside me, I hear Nee-san laugh wholeheartedly.

"Hayama-kun. Miura-san." I nod in greeting. I take a look at their companion and my eyes widen in surprise. Nee-san clamps on his arm and snickers.

"Hikigaya-kun?"

"Hey." he gives me an annoyed look.

"...what are you doing here? and what happened to you?" his hair was dyed and he was wearing glasses. He looked surprisingly good in them.

"He's my date!" Nee-san says with a grin. I frown at her.

"I invited him over." she adds, leaning on his shoulder.

"But..."

"I'll take them to our table, shall I?" she drags Hikigaya-kun's arm with her. I open my mouth to protest but stop when I see Hikigaya-kun's expression. He wasn't glaring at Nee-san, he was glaring at me. They enter the ballroom, arms linked.

"Sorry I didn't warn you." Hayama-kun stops at the entrance and looks at me sheepishly.

"What's going on?"

"Your sister told him about the party just the other day. He was invited and we gave him a ride."

"...is that so." I shake my head, focusing on the task at hand. "Anyway, you should go in. Most of the guests have arrived. Father will start his speech in a few minutes and dinner will be served shortly after."

"I see. A bit lively inside is it?" he remarks on the laughter and noise.

"The drink bar has been open for an hour."

He laughs. "That explains some of it, I guess. We'll go ahead then."

He walks in but hesitates. Miura-san was looking nervous. Fidgeting and stealing glances inside.

"...it'll be fine. You look wonderful." Hayama-kun gives her a gentle smile.

"Indeed. You look beautiful, Miura-san." I add.

"Uh, thanks." she smiles at Hayama-kun. She then glances at me. "You don't look too shabby yourself."

I smile wryly at her offhand remark and gesture them inside. I wait for another 15 minutes, Nee-san accompanying me after taking Hikigaya-kun inside. We welcome the last guests together and enter behind them. Inside, the ballroom was now even livelier. Most were standing in groups talking and holding drinks. There were some who chose to converse in their respective tables. There was a decent amount of laughter, a good sign that everything was well.

I see mother and father among the guests. Greeting them and thanking them for their presence. Nee-san and I try to catch father's attention unobtrusively and we succeed after a few tries. He gives us a nod of acknowledgement before turning back to his acquaintances. We then head towards our table.

Each table had around 6-8 chairs and ours had 6, 4 of which were occupied. Hayama-kun and Miura-san were sitting beside each other on one side, while across Hayama-kun was Hikigaya-kun. On the other side of Hayama-kun was Ichiro Suzuki. An acquaintance of ours, the son of father's close friend in diet. I watch Hikigaya-kun carefully and take a seat beside him while Nee-san takes the seat on his right. He was taking a sip from his glass and his eyes were somewhat hidden behind his eyeglasses, I couldn't tell what he was thinking. One thing was quite obvious, however. He was ignoring me.

I sigh and wave a waiter over, taking a glass of champagne. This was going to be a long evening.

"Hello, Yukinoshita-san." Suzuki-kun smiles at me shyly. "I have to say. You look really lovely tonight."

"Thank you." I reply distractedly.

"I hear you're going to transfer to Tokyo University? This true?"

I glance at Hikigaya-kun and I saw no reaction. So he knew. I had my suspicions.

"That might be the case, yes."

He grins happily. "Oh, I guess I'll be your senpai next year then."

"Indeed. I'll be in your care." I bow slightly.

"Um, no need to be formal." he laughs and waves his hand before his chest. "If anything, I'll be in _your_ care."

I hear Hikigaya-kun click his tongue in annoyance. I ignore him.

"Ah, father's going to start." Nee-san remarks, sounding amused.

We turn our attention to the stage where father is standing on the podium. He clears his throat loudly.

"Good evening, everyone." he smiles at the audience. "And thank you for coming..."

He continues with his speech. Thanking those who supported him and promising them that he'll do his best to prove worthy of their trust. Looking at my father, I feel pride welling up inside me. He was the ideal politician, charming, handsome, intelligent, and above all, competent. He believed in the idea of service. Of helping others before himself. When I was young, I had decided to follow in his footsteps. More than a decade later, I still felt the same.

He ends his speech on a high note and the audience erupts with applause. I clap my hands in support as well. Afterwards, the waiters from the side start dispersing and serving the first course. The staff knew which guests chose which course but for a minute or two, I kept glancing at the guests around me, hoping no one would voice out a complaint. Thankfully, all seemed well.

The noise of conversation mixes with the sound of cutlery as everyone starts to eat their meal. Each table had one waiter diligently waiting for the right time to signal the next course. And the meal continues smoothly.

I eat mostly silent, making occasional polite conversation with Suzuki-kun. My attention was altogether focused on my right. Hikigaya-kun and Nee-san were talking normally, which was a strange experience for me. Normally he wouldn't even bother with casual talk. Was he really that upset with me?

The dinner proceeds without much incident, however. The food was delicious and the amount was satisfactory. Suzuki-kun and I continue talking, mostly about Tokyo University. He was more than enthusiastic in proclaiming the virtues of the school, and I was drawn in despite myself. He was also a good distraction, letting me forget - or at least ignore - the tension between Hikigaya-kun and I.

In no time at all, dessert was served.

"Hmm, this pudding is divine!" Nee-san suddenly exclaims.

Since each course had different entries, my dessert was cranberry tart and sorbet while hers was almond pudding and ice cream. I glance at Nee-san's ecstatic profile feeling slightly envious and silently agree. The pudding was indeed delicious, I knew after sampling. I didn't want to change my course choice however, it would've been too bothersome.

"Hikigaya-kun, here, have a bite." Nee-san suddenly pushes her spoon inside Hikigaya-kun's surprised mouth.

I swallow hard and focus my attention on my dessert. He didn't mean to. Nee-san was just teasing. Nothing to be mad about...

I suppress the sudden urge to flirt with Suzuki-kun.

Across me, Miura-san was looking skittish. Glancing this way and that. Dinner was just about over and some of the guests were already walking around and socializing. She was probably feeling more than a little anxious.

"Miura-san, would you like to grab a drink with me?" I ask her after I finish with dessert.

"Um," she looks at me, somewhat gratefully. "Sure."

I smile and stand up. "Excuse us for a moment."

We walk towards the drink bar together. She was sighing in relief and it was hard not to do the same.

"I'd like a bone dry martini please." she tells the bartender.

"Long island iced tea for me."

We wait for our drinks quietly. Around us, guests were also standing and some were heading for the bar. The stage was now lit up and the jazz band we hired started to play.

"Here you go, miss." the bartender catches our attention and hands us our drinks. We both take a sip.

"Ungh, you high society types really are something..." Miura-san remarks while looking around.

"It does take getting used to. But I don't think you would find trouble fitting in."

"Well, what makes you think I'm trying to?"

"Your outfit." I look her up and down, she was dressed to impress. "And the fact that you're dating Hayama-kun."

"...you know?"

"He told me."

She nods absently, taking another sip.

"...you dating anyone here?"

"No."

"What about that guy with us?"

"Just an acquaintance."

"Oh," she twirls her hair. "Good. For Hikio anyway."

"About that..."

"I don't know much. Only that he was invited by your sister and that Hayato had a talk with him after finding out."

Hayama-kun or Nee-san. Both could have told Hikigaya-kun about my transfer. For Hayama-kun's case, I didn't exactly tell him not to. I only implied that he shouldn't tell Yuigahama-san. I sigh and take a sip.

"And the disguise?"

"Oh that." she frowns. "Something about him not getting caught by your parents, I think. What's up with that?"

"Oh, I'm not sure." I roll my eyes. "I'm somewhat certain my parents don't recognize him. Nee-san probably played a joke on him."

"Oh, her huh."

There was something in the way she said it that made me like her more. I smile and look around.

"Miura-san." I point discreetly at a couple a distance away. "Those are Hayama-kun's parents. They're very decent people, friendly. I'm sure they'll be glad to meet you."

"Huh." she looks at them glassy eyed. She then takes a big gulp from her glass.

"...better get this over with." she walks towards our table with determination. I watch her from behind and decide not to follow. Hikigaya-kun was approaching me, and he looked upset.

He passes me by and makes an order. I wait, feeling tense.

"Hey."

"Done sulking, are we?" I say jokingly.

"Shut up."

I grit my teeth. There was something in his tone that said he meant it. I can understand why he was angry. But honestly...

"What is wrong with you?" he growls. "You transfer to another university and you don't even bother telling us? We don't matter to you at all, huh?"

"That's not fair." I snap. "I was going to tell you and Yuigahama-san."

"When? After a month? Next school year?"

"On Monday." I spit out. "Or tomorrow. Just after this party."

He takes a sip of champagne and makes a grimace. "How long did you keep this secret?"

I look away and sigh. "...around 2 weeks."

He gives me a disgusted look.

"I didn't want to worry you or Yuigahama-san needlessly." I explain. "At the time, transferring me to a different school was just an idea my mother had. I was hoping I could work my way around it."

"Great job then." he sneers at me.

"Yes, I guess I deserve that." I say with a self-deprecating smile.

He sighs and gulps down the rest of his drink. He then shakes his head.

"Well, whatever, if this is what you want, then fine." he mumbles and walks away.

I stand still, watching his back, feeling hurt and alone. The way he said those words, like it didn't matter to him, cut deep. But then again, I _did_ deserve this. I took too long to inform him about my situation. When he promised that he'd try to help me too.

I take a long sip of my drink and with renewed determination, try to make amends.

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"Father, please."

After several glasses of champagne and other fruity concoctions as well as an hour's worth of casual talk with guests enforced by my mother, I finally managed to catch him alone.

"Yukino, you know how your mother is..."

"But you can go against her. Tell her it's okay. You let me live alone when I was just 15! And now that I'm 20 years old, I can't?"

"That was to encourage independence in you, Yukino. And it worked. For a time, anyway. Things are different now."

"Yes, things _are_ different now. For one thing, you don't need to worry about me anymore. I am perfectly fine living alone and I've proven that for years. It wouldn't be strange for me to continue doing so. Transferring to another school is also unnecessary. True, Tokyo University may be better, but Chiba University is almost just as good."

"But Yukino..."

"I made Dean's list again, did you know? Top of my batch, 4 semesters in a row. I could keep at it until I graduate. Can't I stay? As a reward for my efforts or something." I sigh and wave my hand in exasperation.

He makes a smile that disappears all too quickly. He then shakes his head sadly. "Yukino... is the idea of living together, as a family, so displeasing to you?"

I cross my arms and look away. "Well..."

"Yukino, please. Is it so wrong for your mother and I to want to live with their children?"

"No, I suppose..."

"Haruno will want to live apart sooner or later. And once she's gone, who will keep your mother company?"

"You?" I make a face.

"Well, yes, and you too." he gives me a tolerant smile.

"You know we don't get along."

"And she's trying to fix that. You should too."

I click my tongue and look away. It was hard to argue against his reasoning. Truly the politician, my father was good at negotiating.

"It's not that simple." I continue. "There are... people I care about. Friends I don't want to leave behind."

"The boy?" he asks, his tone different.

"No. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I am not in a relationship with him." I roll my eyes. "I have other friends. Female ones."

"If they're truly your friends, wouldn't they remain so even if you go away?"

"They will, of course, but the time I spend with them will diminish considerably if I go."

"But you don't care if it's time with your family that disappears hmm?"

I look him in the eye and stay quiet.

"Indulge me, Yukino. Maybe it won't be as bad as you think."

I open my mouth to argue further but stop. The look on his face tells me that nothing I say will convince him. I suddenly feel tired and more than a little dizzy. My throat feeling dry, I take another gulp from my drink. It didn't help.

"...fine." I mutter. I look around me, feeling somewhat nauseous and exhausted. What was the point? "I'm leaving."

"What?" he looks at me worriedly. "It's still early."

"I'm done for the evening. Everything seems to be fine, the guests are happy, mother is content. I see no reason in staying here." I close my eyes and rub my temple, feeling my head ache.

He stares at me for a few seconds and shrugs.

"Very well. How will you get home?"

"I'll take a cab." Travel will probably take an hour, taking the highway. But it should be safe enough.

"...fine." he sighs. "You've done well for this party. I appreciate your help."

"It's nothing. I'll be going ahead." I bow quickly, hoping to get away before he changes his mind.

I turn around and walk towards the exit. I don't bother to tell my mother or Nee-san. Both of them were busy. The room was also noisier, the band was playing loudly and the guests were all talking with alcohol in their veins. I didn't have it in me to go look for them in this atmosphere.

I reach the lobby quickly. Walking directly for the exit. I pause, however, upon seeing someone sitting on one of the couches.

It was Hikigaya-kun. He was holding a glass of something that looked like chocolate milkshake, muttering to himself. I approach carefully.

"...you're still here I see." I remark. I frown at his drink disapprovingly. He should return that glass once he's done. You weren't supposed to take them out the ballroom.

He grunts, staring down at his feet, looking pensive.

I sit down beside him and wait. He didn't tell me not to, so I could. He continues to drink.

After what seemed like forever, he glances at me and clears his throat.

"Um..."

"Before anything else, I want to say I'm sorry. I apologize for not telling you about my transfer, Hikigaya-kun. It was callous of me." I look down at my hands, feeling remorseful.

"Yeah... I'm sorry too..."

I shake my head and continue. "Your anger was justified. It was my fault entirely."

He nods and scratches his head. We stay quiet for another moment. He then turns toward me, his mouth turning into a grin.

"What's up with your outfit anyway? You look like an expensive hooker."

I frown. Resorting to insults now, are we? Not an entirely bad way to break the mood, I guess. I decide to play along.

"I don't want to hear that from you. What are you supposed to be? An uptown drug dealer? A gigolo? Or maybe a pimp?"

"Really? I was going for young mid-level management corporate slave."

I lean forward and rub my forehead with a sigh. "...you think too highly of yourself. With your eyes and that attitude. I doubt you'd go that far."

"Hey," he frowns at me. "Aren't you looking down on me too much? My grades are pretty good, you know."

"You _did_ call me a prostitute." I put a finger on my chin. "Not that you'd know anything about them." I turn on him, one eyebrow raised. "...or do you?"

"I don't know..." he shrugs. "I _am_ acquainted with your sister."

I snort inelegantly, trying to stifle my laugh. I give him an affronted look.

"Hikigaya-kun!" I exclaim, hand raised to cover my smile.

"Sorry," he waves offhandedly. "Slip of the tongue."

"Is your subconscious trying to tell me something I should know?"

"I'm not going freudian on you, seriously."

I chuckle and nod at his drink.

"Are you going to finish that?"

"Hm?" he looks at his glass. "This? Yeah." he takes another sip.

"What is it?"

"I'm not giving you any, if that's what you're trying to get at." he wrinkles his nose. "I think you've had enough. You smell of alcohol."

"No, I don't." I say, feeling truly offended this time. I sniff discreetly just in case.

"Well, it's not that obvious." he smirks at me. "Your breath just stinks a bit."

"Nonsense." I mutter and cup my hand before me. I then breathe out slowly.

Well, _okay_ , maybe just a little.

"A-anyway," I brush a strand of hair off my shoulder. "I wasn't trying to get a sip of your drink. I just want you to return that glass once you're done."

"Can't I just leave it here?" he gestures at the coffee table near us.

"No."

"Who cares?"

"I do." I glare at him.

"Fine." he takes another long sip. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"I was heading home."

"Alone?" he frowns at me.

"...yes." I sigh, recalling the conversation with my father.

"Huh," he grunts and finishes his drink. "You sure that's okay?"

"I'm done for the evening." I squeeze my left arm. "There's not much I can do here anymore."

"I see..." he stands up. "How're you getting home?"

"I'll be taking a cab." I look up at him.

He frowns at me and shakes his head. "I'll take you home, we can ride the train together. Faster that way."

"On the train, in this dress?" I say, incredulous.

"I'll lend you my jacket."

I stare at him for a moment, I then smile helplessly. "That's fine, I suppose. Thank you."

"I'll just put this back, okay?" he nods at his glass. "Wait for me."

I lean back on the couch and close my eyes. Feeling restive. I didn't have to wait long for his return however.

"Come on. Let's go."

I pull myself up with a grunt. We then walk outside together, the cool night air greeting us. Feeling slightly drunk but otherwise okay, it was almost easy to believe that everything was fine. I can only hope, before the night is over, that it will be between us.

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 **AN**

Sorry for the late update~

Chap could use a day or two more of standby time but I'm not sure if I can upload tomorrow. So here it is. Send me a pm/review if there are any typos or anything...

I'm still busy at work. But I'm gonna try harder for the next chapter. I'll try to do at least 1k per day. But I'll be aiming for a 6-7k word count so the update might take a while. Next chap is going to be tricky as well. I do have a good idea of what will happen though.

As always, thank you guys, for leaving a review.

-guest: hey! thanks for giving me your longest review. I appreciate it, and in a way, it's really flattering, I'm glad that someone like you who doesn't ship Yuki8 would read my fic and leave a review. So thanks! As for who you are... I kinda get the feeling that you're a fic writer here, someone who writes one of the iroha/yui/yumiko fics maybe? Or are you from reddit? Cause if you are... I still have no idea, not unless you tell me if you're a yuifag/irohafag, or just pm me.

As to your opinion on Yukino's character, I can respect that. I also have a very different view on character development in the series. For starters, I believe that 8man has never 'grown' as a character without a catalyst and/or someone to push or influence him. He has Yukino,Yui,Komachi,Sensei,Iroha, and to some extent Haruno, Hayama,Totsuka and Zaimokuza. I think that 8man and Yukino are very similar in this regard, in that it's impossible for them to 'grow' independently. So I can't write it that way. Not to mention the fact that, unlike 8man, Yukino has far less people to turn to. There's 8man and Yui, maybe to some extent Iroha and Haruno then... no one. Haruno can force change in her, but she uses the worst possible method to do so, I kind of don't want to use her that way.

Though it might be possible that we have different opinions on what would count as independent character growth so...Anyway, this is better discussed over at reddit where we get to read about different views on the matter.

And another thing, I won't be tackling Yukino's dependency issues. Mainly because in this fic, I'm working on the assumption that the problem was resolved back when they were in high-school. Her problem, in this fic, is something different. I'll talk about it in more detail in the next few chaps.

\- HarimaHige: Man I miss school rumble. Anyway. The slow progression of the story is a problem I'm trying to work on. That's why I had a 2 week timeskip for chap 8 and a few days for this chap as well. ( ch1 - ch7 happened in 4 days ). Prev chap also had 4k words while this one has more than 5k ( the rest had more or less around 3k). So yeah, it's just the way I write I guess. And when I was writing ch1-5, I was basically wandering around. hehe.

As for the characters being passive, or specifically Yukino; she isn't, not exactly, it's just that what she does is ineffective. They also have exams so they're busy. Yukino hasn't told anyone about her transfer too, mostly because she doesn't want them to worry but also because she believes that, in the long run, it would be better for everyone.

-Eramis8: Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrm


	10. Chapter 10

My head throbbing, I watch the buildings pass us by as we head towards the train station. We were both quiet, both of us deep in our own muddled thoughts. The silence was uncomfortable to me, however. I felt that I still owed him an explanation, and I didn't know how, where or when to start. I was feeling a little restless because of it.

"So... are you still staying at your parents house?"

My hand twitches at his sudden question. I breathe slowly and deeply to get over my surprise, feeling like a fool.

"Yes, unfortunately." I answer.

"I see..."

I sneak a peek at his side profile. His gaze was fixed outside, his eyes hidden behind his glasses, improving his appearance somewhat. He looks odd though, like a stranger. The thought makes me a little uneasy.

"...are you still mad?" I ask, my voice almost a whisper.

He sighs and shakes his head slightly.

"...not really, no. Just..." he frowns as he searches for the right word. "...tired, I guess."

"Hm? I see. Well, it has been a long evening. How was the party? Did you enjoy yourself?"

"Hmm... Yeah, I guess. Food was great." He says with a smile.

"And the company even better, I suppose."

"Huh? What are you talking about? Being with your sister's pretty terrifying you know. The food barely made it worth it."

I felt somewhat better, hearing his reply and seeing his expression sour. "Is that so? You seemed to enjoy yourself quite a bit though. I noticed that you and Nee-san get along pretty well when I'm not around."

"Really? I don't think so." He sighs and looks at me tiredly. "She was just being her usual friendly self and I was just playing along. You know how it is."

"Fine. What about your disguise? Who can I thank for providing us with such great entertainment?"

"Yeah," He sighs and tugs at his hair. "This one's Isshiki's idea."

I smirk and glance at it. "As far as ideas go, that seems to be a pretty bad one."

"She said it was nice." He shrugs apathetically.

"Hmm... perhaps to those who don't know you well enough. It doesn't suit you, Hikigaya-kun. Not with your personality. You look silly."

"Yeah, I know. Isshiki was really into it though. And your sister said I should disguise myself."

"And you believed her? Nee-san was just pulling your leg."

"I don't know..." he tilts his head. "Better safe than sorry, right?"

I scoff at him. "What's the worst that could happen? And what about the glasses?"

"This?" he touches them. "Err... It's something that I don't normally wear. So I thought it would be a good prop. It doesn't look too bad on me right?"

I tilt my head and stare at him.

"I guess." I say grudgingly. "So is this image change permanent?"

"No, of course not." he answers immediately.

"Good." I nod back, relieved.

"I'll try to wash the color off if I can. If not, I'll just tint it back to black."

I hum assent. Looking back outside to watch idly. We were now close to our destination. Once we get to the train station, we'll be taking the Keiyou line back to Chiba. Afterwards, I'll grab another taxi to go all the way home.

"Still..." I hear him mumble beside me. "That party was something else. I recognized some of those people from the news."

"Yes," I glance at him worriedly. "I hope you didn't embarrass yourself while I wasn't looking."

"No way." He straightens his jacket and looks at me with a little smug smile. "I went around and no one asked me for an invitation, or if I could get them a drink or show them where the comfort room was. I actually fit in."

I chuckle at his reply. "Really?"

"Yeah, your sis introduced me to some of the guests and her friends. They didn't laugh. Or think I was strange or anything... at least I didn't think so..."

"Friends?" I frown.

"Err... Saitou and Miyazawa."

"Hmm... the brunette and the redhead?" Both very female and both very attractive, if memory serves me right.

"Yeah."

I sigh tiredly. "What were you doing with them?"

"Well, I drank champagne," He shrugs. "Grunt or smile and look attentive whenever they said something."

I laugh, a little in understanding. It was not unlike what I usually did. "Well. They must've enjoyed your company."

"...I kind of get the feeling that they actually did." He puts a hand on his chin, pondering.

"I doubt it."

He smiles wryly at me. "What? I can be charming too, you know."

"Oh? What nonsense. Where is this confidence coming from? Are you drunk?"

"Is that right? What's this then?" He puts his hand in his pocket and takes out a piece of paper. He grins as he hands it over.

I unfold it and take a look. A phone number and an email address was written on it. And it wasn't my sister's.

"Well, this is a surprise." I mutter. Whose contact information was this, I wonder? Not that it matters...

"See? Even I can-"

I push the button on my side to open a slight gap in the window. I feel the wind brush my hair as I fold the piece of paper twice. I throw it out quickly, closing the window afterwards.

"You can what?" I turn to him and ask, smiling.

"Oh...uh, never mind."

He sighs and looks away. I cross my arms beneath my chest and look outside, feeling satisfied. The train station was now visible, just a couple of blocks away.

We arrive after a few minutes. Hikigaya-kun takes care of the fare, as usual, but I take note of how much he paid, just in case I find the opportunity to pay him back. He gets out of the taxi first and stands close to my side of the door, he then takes his jacket off.

"Here."

He hands over his jacket just before I get out of the taxi. I quickly put it on, draping it over my shoulder, while I stand beside him. His jacket hung on me like a coat and it covered my back sufficiently.

"Thank you." I say with a smile.

He shrugs. "Come on. It's a bit crowded. Stay close."

It was indeed crowded. Probably because it was a Saturday. I stay close to Hikigaya-kun, walking beside him silently.

"Too bad you can't go home to your apartment yet huh." He glances at me from the side.

"Yes. But I do have my keys. And I'll make sure to get it back. We own the apartment anyway. No one is going to use it while I'm gone."

"What if your parents decide to rent it out?"

"They'll need my permission. I've grown quite fond of that place. I've also left a lot of my things there."

"That's fine then..."

Reminded by his remark, I think about the apartment and all the memories that come with it. The early ones were lonely but the recent ones were bright and full of laughter. Yuigahama-san's sleepovers and frequent visits as well as Hikigaya-kun's rare ones have made the place feel more like home. A fact that became more obvious the longer I stayed away.

As for my apartment being rented out... Once Nee-san enrolls at Tokyo University and once my mother finds a house suitably near father's office and the school, she just might decide to sell the place or have it rented. It was an upsetting possibility. In fact, I could already imagine the inside of my apartment, empty, all my things stored inside boxes, ready for removal. I would not put it past my mother to do this ahead of time.

Should I go and check, just in case? I take out my phone and look at the time. It was still a bit early. And if it get's late, I could just stay overnight. I think of the consequences and smile. It wasn't too unappealing.

"Hikigaya-kun." I grab the back of his shirt, momentarily stopping him.

"What?"

"I think I'll try to spend the night at my apartment after all."

"Uh, aren't you grounded?"

I shrug. "It's a lot more convenient to go there. It's closer to the train station. And... there are things I'd like to check." It was also easier for Hikigaya-kun to go home afterwards.

"Well, if that's what you want..."

I smile reassuringly and look ahead. "Let's go."

"But you'll need to tell your mother first." He looks at me worriedly and doesn't move.

"I'll just send a text message to Nee-san."

"You sure that's a good idea?"

"Well..." My mouth twists upward, imagining my mother's reaction. "Mother will probably be very upset. But then, father let me go home early and Nee-san was supposed to watch over me. I won't be the only one receiving a lecture that's for sure."

He grins at me. "I guess that's fine then."

"Yes." I nod back.

We purchase our tickets and head slowly for the train. The station was filled with people, so I stuck close to Hikigaya-kun, careful not to lose him in the crowd. Luckily, we didn't have to wait long for the train to arrive.

We get in, following the rush of commuters. Inside the seats were all taken, there was no choice but to stand. There were a lot of stations between this one and our destination, however, so I wasn't all that worried about finding a seat, I'm sure some of the passengers sitting will get off before us.

"Excuse me."

I move aside, letting the man behind me pass. Hikigaya-kun and I were standing near the sliding doors, and people were still going in. I glance at Hikigaya-kun and move closer to him, gripping the edge of his shirt tighter, my other hand still holding his jacket in place. The train was getting more crowded.

"You okay?"

"Yes. It just feels cramped in here."

"Yeah, it is a Saturday..."

"Maybe we should have just taken a cab..." I look around somewhat furtively.

"It's not so bad. Here."

He makes his way to the side and I follow. He finds a space at a corner and gestures me to stand in it, he then moves in front of me, shielding me from the crowd.

"Better?"

"Yes..." I mumble.

It was still a bit tight. And I was still feeling a little uneasy, but now for an altogether different reason. We were only inches apart and I could feel his breath on my hair, smell his scent. With my heels on, we were of the same height, and our eyes were aligned. I look down hastily to avoid contact, and I hear him clear his throat awkwardly. I focus my attention on his collar instead and notice beads of sweat form on his neck. I stifle the urge to wipe them for him.

"Hey."

"Um... yes?" I croak, my throat feeling dry.

"You really going to transfer?"

"...probably."

"Probably?"

" It's just that... my family seems to be determined that I do. And I don't have much of a reason to go against them."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean... it's Tokyo University. It's the country's best. Did you know that Nee-san once wanted to go study there? Only my parents didn't want her to. And now they're offering me something even Nee-san couldn't have back then."

"So you still want to beat her?"

"No. I just don't think it's an altogether bad idea to reject."

He nods in understanding. Though he seems reluctant about it.

"Yuigahama won't be happy." he adds.

"I know..."

"Isshiki too, come to think of it."

"Perhaps..."

We both pause. I wait for him to continue - to tell me how he would feel - but he doesn't. The train starts to move and the moment is lost. Shattered away by the horrifying feel of my chest on his. My nose and lip on the side of his neck, his chin brushing my ear.

"S-sorry!" He yelps.

We both pull away from each other, blushing hard. My hand now pushing against his chest. The bump had made the both of us stumble, with my heels on and my other hand on his jacket, I wasn't able to balance myself adequately. Hikigaya-kun wasn't holding on to the handle bars as well.

"I got bumped from behind and..." he mumbles at me sheepishly.

"I understand."

"I didn't mean to..."

"I know." I growl at him, willing him to shut up. He gets the message and closes his mouth.

I consider letting go of his shirt, but that would only make it harder for me to keep my balance, so I decide not to. Hikigaya-kun was now holding on to a handle bar, gripping hard, so it was unlikely we'd embarrass ourselves in the same way. I sigh and pretend it didn't happen.

We stay this way for quite some time, standing close together. The scenery outside blurring as the train speeds up, heading for home.

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"Hey, wake up."

"Hnnn?"

I open my eyes slowly, feeling my shoulder shake. I look around me blearily.

"Hey, you awake?"

"Hm? What?"

I jerk upright, away from his shoulder. My sudden movement causes a wave of vertigo and I close my eyes until it goes away.

"We're almost there."

I blink at him and he gestures outside. I look out and nod, seeing the familiar scenery. We were close, the next station our last.

I cover my mouth and yawn, I then turn my neck left and right to get rid of the crick.

"...sorry." I mumble afterwards, an apology for using him as a pillow. He shrugs, an indifferent expression on his face.

After a few minutes, the train slows down and pulls to a stop. We stand up and walk out, exiting the station along with the crowd.

The path we took was the usual one, a route we've taken for years. It was nostalgic. How many times more will I have to pass through this neighborhood? With Yuigahama-san or with him?

We walk silently, content to leave it that way. My apartment was only a few minutes away, the building already visible. A part of me wishes it was farther.

"So... when will you guys move to Tokyo?"

I give him a glance. We were about to cross the street, waiting for the light to turn green.

"I don't know. A month before the school year opens perhaps."

He sighs and shakes his head.

"Why do they want you to go with them? You've been fine living on your own. I don't get it."

"It's a feeble attempt at household solidarity." I answer wryly. We cross the street and walk on.

"You did tell them you want to stay right?" He narrows his eyes at me.

"Of course I did." I frown back. "Do you think I'd enjoy going somewhere with no friends or acquaintances?"

"But you do know a few guys there right?" He looks at me accusingly. "And it's not like you're not used to it."

"Things have changed since Yuigahama-san."

"Eh, if you say so. I still think you're just letting your mother push you around."

"Maybe so." I grumble, feeling somewhat annoyed now. "But it's not only her I have to deal with. Father wants me to come too."

"They can't force you to do something you don't want to. Even if they're your parents."

"That depends on the circumstances, Hikigaya-kun." I glare at him. "You seem awfully determined to make me stay, is there a deeper meaning to this perhaps?" I grin at him maliciously. "Is there something you'd like to tell me, Hikigaya-kun?"

"What are you rambling about?" He gives me an annoyed look of his own. "I'm doing this because of work."

"Work?"

"Hayama made a request the other day."

I shake my head, feeling disappointed. "The service club is long gone, Hikigaya-kun."

"Old habits die hard, right?"

I ignore him and continue walking. He follows behind.

"Have you tried begging your father to let you stay?" He continues.

"No, and I don't plan to." I look back at him and smirk. "You could do it in my place, if you want."

"Heh, that might cause a misunderstanding. A fatal one."

I chuckle at his remark. I slow down my pace and let him walk beside me. I then turn towards him.

"I don't think it's that easy, Hikigaya-kun. If there's a chance that he might let me if I do, then I would gladly throw away my pride. I really don't want to go away from here."

"Yeah, I know. Chiba's the best."

I roll my eyes at him. "My father wants the family to stay under one roof. And it's hard to argue with him when he's determined to get his way."

"But he'll listen to you if you talk to him, right?"

"Yes, but..."

I stop and hesitate. We were now both standing a few steps away from my apartment building. We still wanted to talk, but arriving at our destination had made it somewhat awkward to continue doing so. I sigh and put a hand on my temple.

"Hikigaya-kun, would you like to go upstairs with me?"

"That didn't work out too well last time remember?"

"True, but what have I to lose?" I wave my hand in a tired gesture and smile. "It's still early anyway and you aren't exactly spending the night."

"Um, you sure about that?"

"Yes." I pause, thinking of an alternative. "If you want, I can smuggle you in through the fire escape exit."

"Hm?" He looks at me curiously.

"Go around the side of the building, you'll find the fire escape exit there. I'll unlock it from the inside and you can climb the stairs up until the 3rd floor and use the elevator then."

"Why the 3rd floor?"

I shrug. "There's only one CCTV camera on the elevator hallway starting from the third floor up."

"Oh, okay, let's try that." He looks at me somewhat excitedly. "I feel like some sort of spy."

I give him a disgusted look and head in. The receptionist recognizes me and gives me the usual greeting. It doesn't seem like my absence was noted. Not surprising, since there have been times when my mother would demand my presence at home for months, particularly during summer. A 2 week absence is hardly noticeable.

I walk down the hallway and head for the stairs at the far end. I look around me, just to make sure no one was watching and unlock the door to the fire escape. I open it slightly and wait for Hikigaya-kun.

"Hey."

I let him in and lock the door behind him. I then gesture upwards.

"There's a camera on every floor. If you hug the walls, you won't be seen." I reconsider. "If you're careful, that is."

"Okay, you won't get in trouble for this, right?"

"Probably not."

He looks at me worriedly and I wave him away. I walk back to the main hallway and take the elevator.

I reach my floor, take out my keys and unlock my apartment. I breathe out in relief as I take the surrounding in. Nothing had changed.

"I'm home." I whisper with a smile.

I take my heels off gratefully, my feet were starting to feel sore. I put on my indoor slippers and head for my room, turning on the lights along the way. There I change into something more casual. A button up shirt and loose cotton pants. I hear knocking while I change and I ignore it. I left the door unlocked so he shouldn't have a problem going in.

I exit my room just as Hikigaya-kun opens the door.

"Would you like some tea?" I tell him as I untie my hair and head for the kitchen.

"Uh, yeah, sure."

I turn on the electric kettle and wait for the water to boil. I then check around. The food in the refrigerator were mostly okay, some will have to be disposed of, like the milk and eggs, but the others were still safe to consume.

The water starts to boil and I take out our cups. I prepare the tea and hurry over to the living room. Approaching the sofa, I hand over Hikigaya-kun's mug and sit beside him. We both take a sip and sigh.

"So tired..." He grumbles and I silently agree. It's that feeling when you stop and rest after a busy day. The stress and exhaustion piling on top of you the whole day finally crashing down. Though in this case, he shouldn't be as tired as he sounds, his complaint was completely unjustified.

"Yuigahama should be here." He mutters beside me.

"No, she shouldn't." I answer with a shudder.

"I'm supposed to convince you to stay. I think she'd do a better job at it."

"No, I don't think so." If Yuigahama-san were here, things would only get more troublesome. "Is that the nature of the request?"

"Yeah, more or less."

"Then do your job properly." I scold him jokingly.

"Err... right." He clears his throat. "That said, I don't know what to say. If Yuigahama were here she'd be begging you to stay and you'd be saying yes and everything would be okay."

"Indeed, she can be quite persistent."

The two of us share a look and smile. Imagining the scene.

We both know that it was futile, however. There wasn't much we could do in the situation. I wasn't in any position to rebel against my parents. I depended on them too much for that. And Hikigaya-kun understands. Or at least, I think he does.

"I wish it were that simple." I say with a sigh.

"Yeah, should I call Yuigahama over? A simple person could come up with simple solutions you know."

I ignore him and continue.

"But it's not like I'm going somewhere out of reach. Yuigahama-san and I will just visit each other whenever we have free time. You and Isshiki-san can tag along too. It's not like I'm close to a lot of people."

"But there are going to be times when you can't, right? We're in college and things are just going to get busier. How much time will you have for them?"

"As much time as I can give. There's no helping it. We can't always be together. We were bound to take different paths, sooner or later. It just came sooner than expected."

"Yeah but," He grumbles, "Isn't that the reason why the 3 of us went to the same college? Remember how Yuigahama worked her butt off to make sure she passed? She did it for you, you know."

And you, I add silently. "Put yourself in my shoes. How would you feel if Komachi-san asked you to transfer to Tokyo University? What if she decides to study there?"

"Can't imagine it happening. She's too much of an idiot. She doesn't have a chance."

"You're so fond of her and yet you say things like that... it's just a hypothetical situation."

"Well, I'd go, of course. But that's different. Komachi's special. And she's cute. I need to be there to keep those Tokyo boys away from her."

"You don't trust boys from Chiba either." I point out.

"Damn right."

I smile and sip my tea. "The point is, they're my family. Despite everything. It's hard to say no in these situations."

"Huh, so I guess there's nothing we can do now, is there?" He mumbles, letting his head fall back on the sofa.

"I know." I pull my legs up and follow his example, slouching beside him. "Or rather, I don't know. I don't know what to do, what to say, to get things back the way they were."

"Are you having second thoughts on whether you want to stay here or not?"

"A little. There's an opportunity there that's hard to ignore. Studying in Tokyo, working under my mother. It's hard to turn down. Doing so will only make my family think I'm acting selfishly."

"There's nothing wrong with being selfish though."

"In some cases, yes. But my mother believes that transferring to Tokyo is for the best. And looking at it objectively, I can't help but agree."

"I think you're looking down on our school too much. Just because you go to a more prestigious university doesn't mean your chances for success go higher."

"Actually, it does..."

"Well, okay, maybe, but that applies to normal guys. You're not normal."

"Thank you?" I frown.

"You know what I mean." He waves at me in an annoying manner. "Even if you study at some unknown place, you'd still make it big once you graduate."

"Well, I suppose. But that's not the only consideration."

"Oh, you're talking about the family unity thing?"

"Yes." I turn my head to the side, facing him. "It may be too little too late, but the attempt my parents are making is something I can respect and understand."

"Yeah... guess that's that then." He replies tiredly, his voice sounding hollow.

"Yes." I stare at him, worried.

We stay quiet for a while. Drinking our tea slowly, occasionally letting out a sigh. I rub my feet to ease away the sore feeling of having to walk and stand in heels for hours. There was no immediate need for conversation.

He finishes his tea and puts his mug down, straightening in his seat. He then turns toward me.

"I think I'll just go."

"Isn't it a little too early?" I look at my cup, hoping my disappointment didn't show.

"...it's past 10." He mutters. "But maybe I can stay for a little while," He pauses and lets out a breath. "Not that there's much I can do at this point."

"Hikigaya-kun..." I grasp for something to say. It was ridiculous, how depressed he sounds, if anything, I should be the one feeling devastated. But then again, I've had time to deal with my departure, he's only had a couple of days.

"Hikigaya-kun," I clear my throat and try again. "Just because I'm going away, doesn't mean that our relationships will disappear. That will never happen. This isn't goodbye. We've been through something similar before, after all, when the service club ended." I smile warmly.

He gives me a look. "You make it sound like I'm some kind of rabbit."

I inch closer towards him, our shoulders now touching. "I am worried. I don't want you to die of loneliness." I tease.

"But really though, I think you're a bit too naive." He grumbles, but he doesn't move away. "Just look at Hayama's group."

I understood what he meant. Hayama-kun didn't go to the same college as us and some of his friends went to other colleges as well. From what we've both heard from Yuigahama-san, the relationships in their group have changed quite a bit. Yuigahama-san does her best to spend as much time with Ebina-san and Miura-san, and the other two are quite receptive to Yuigahama-san's efforts. But the boys on the other hand were different. Tobe-kun and Hayama-kun go with them, but this happens only occasionally. Slowly but surely, their group was starting to dissolve.

But that's only how it looks on the outside. Hayama-kun and Miura-san have an understanding after all. And Tobe-kun and Ebina-san have gotten closer, according to Yuigahama-san. So it shouldn't be all that bad.

"You're too pessimistic." I grumble.

"I'm also a realist." He rallies. "You'll find new friends there, or most likely, they'll find you. And that's something that could happen easily for Yuigahama, you know. The both of you will find it harder to spend time together, and then we'll start drifting apart..."

"Why would you say such depressing things?" I glance at him resentfully.

He shrugs unapologetic. "I'm just saying it's possible."

I put my hands on my lap and look down. It was indeed, a possibility. But there was a slim chance of it happening. Hikigaya-kun and Yuigahama-san are both dear to me. They hold a place in my heart that would never be taken away. And I know Yuigahama-san feels the same way for me, to the point that I even worry sometimes about her sexuality. Hikigaya-kun on the other hand...

"Hikigaya-kun," I call out. I gather a little courage and plod on. "I would never replace you or Yuigahama-san with someone else. Both of you are very important to me. I owe the two of you more than I can ever repay."

I glance up at him and continue. "I will not drift away. As long as you and Yuigahama-san won't. Even if we're not together, the two of you will always be on my mind."

He looks away, scratching his head in an embarrassed gesture. "...it's the same for me, I guess." He mumbles.

I wait for him to look at me and I smile warmly when he does. "I'm glad. I wasn't worried about Yuigahama-san. You on the other hand," I sigh dramatically, "you are such a pain. It would not sit well on me to leave you alone. Who knows what could happen? I don't want you to turn into a recluse... or a criminal. I'd feel bad for Komachi-san."

"You're not cute at all..." He grumbles, looking clearly dissatisfied.

I laugh, feeling lighthearted and relieved. Communicating with my eyes what I can't say honestly with words.

My laughter fades and a familiar silence descends on us. We were sitting side by side, shoulder to shoulder. The distance between us intimately close. My heart beats loudly in my ears. And not just because of the alcohol.

His eyes flicker to my lips and I do the same. A feeling of thrill bubbles inside me. I hold my breath in anticipation, my chin tilting unconsciously upward. The urge to close my eyes and lean forward was almost irresistible and I slowly give in...

But he jerks away, coughing awkwardly. He shuffles back discreetly, putting distance between us. I feel suddenly hollow.

"I...it's getting late. I think... I should just go."

"Yes... that... would be wise." I manage.

We stand up stiffly. I grab his jacket and push it on him, he puts them on with a mutter of thanks. I walk him to the entrance and wait for him to put on his shoes. I open the door for him silently, the oppressive atmosphere encouraging him to make haste.

He walks past me, but before I could close the door, he turns back, looking conflicted.

"...I'm sorry."

"For what?" I answer breathless. "You have nothing to apologize for."

He makes a face, feet shuffling. "Yeah, but..."

I stare at him coldly and he groans as if in pain. I wait for him to continue, but he doesn't. I sigh tiredly.

"It's nothing, Hikigaya-kun. Thank you for keeping me company." I tell him politely.

He opens his mouth like a fish out of water, a distraught look on his face. My heart melts a little and I smile weakly.

"Hikigaya-kun..."

"I'm sorry." He looks down, his voice hoarse. "I wanted to help you. I came to the party thinking I could do something. Talk to your dad or mom or whatever. Maybe convince them to make you stay. Make a scene if I had to. But..."

I look down and shake my head. "Don't blame yourself for something you couldn't help."

"But..." He grumbles on, his fists clenching.

My mind goes blank and I take a step forward, closing in on him, leaning my forehead on his shoulder, one hand clenched and on his chest, feeling his heart beat. He stands stiffly and awkwardly. It was the closest thing to a hug that I could give him.

"Yukinoshita..."

I look up, seeing his confused expression. He was struggling to compose himself, but he doesn't move away. His face was just a few inches away and I feel my heart skip a beat.

Action is sometimes performed when there is an excess of emotion, when the emotion felt exceeds one's threshold, action is sometimes required to express it.

Recalling all that he's done for me, from the cultural festival of the past til today. My heart fills with fondness. I know he's there when I need him, though our relationship has had its ups and downs, I am sure that we can rely on each other. I could not imagine a life without his presence. The affinity we feel for each other is real, and it cannot be ignored. Whether we continue on as friends or something else is irrelevant.

But then...

I cannot deny the fact that "something else" would be the more attractive option.

I close my eyes and stand on tiptoe, tilting my head upward.

I'm sure I'll feel regret later. I'm sure my actions will only bring unnecessary conflict. And that I am betting more than I'm willing to risk.

But with my lips pressed on his, everything seemed _right_.

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 **AN**

 **I AM SO SORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRY!**

I promised myself that I wouldn't let this fic get pushed back to page 2, and I failed to do that. Been very busy and I just couldn't write as much as I used to, this chap was tricky to do as well, so I apologize for the abruptness ( and disjointedness ) of some of the scenes or dialogue. I want this fic to end before v12 gets out and fortunately ( or maybe not ) we still haven't had much news as to when it gets published. I'm still aiming to end this fic early next month. That's unlikely to happen, but I'm gonna try anyway.

I should have more time to write the next chaps. I was moved to the day shift earlier last month and I had to deal with 5 hours worth of commute. Whenever I get back from work, my brain would feel like mush and I couldn't write anything at all. But now I quit! Cause fuck it I'm tired!

Anywho, thank you for reviewing! They encourage me a lot! You regulars are the reason why I feel motivated to finish this fic no matter what.

And I'm sorry for a lot of things for ch 9. Had to stealth edit that one a bit. Seriously regret uploading it several days early.

Also, I might change the fic's rating once I upload the next chap, so change your filter settings if this fic disappears from page 1 or 2, or subscribe.

Anonymouse: I tried adding more diabeetus this chap! There will be more in future chaps too!

Guest: I can't do 18-20 chaps man, sorry. The most I can do would be 15, I guess. But who knows.

Ryudai: Why? That's basically one of the reasons why I'm writing this fic. :(

Anyways, if lemon chaps are something that makes you ( and some readers ) uncomfortable, then I might upload the chap as a separate story. That way, you won't find anything M in this one. But that's only if there's a lot of you guys who feel that way ( leave a pm or review ). It's more convenient for me to just change the rating tbh ( so that's a yes AnonBaws and Lee CHOW-LAN ) but I won't mind doing it this way as well.

imaguest: erk, I'm usually careful about repeating expressions, sorry. And thanks! I'm always worried about the ratio thing, I'm glad you find it okay. I'm not that good at doing inner monologues and descriptions, so I do less of them. And I always feel that I'm not doing enough, but there's not much I can do about it. If I add more, it usually ends up feeling forced or unnecessary to me and I end up removing them once I start editing. :/

Oh and "clicking your tongue" is pretty much the same as using the interjection "Tsk" or "Tch". I use it to avoid using tsk or tch in the dialogue ( mainly cause of the red squiggly marks I get when I use word ). It's not really a clicking sound but that's how it is.


	11. Chapter 11

"Yukinoshita..."

I shiver at the sound of my name. We were both still. Unsure of what to do next. The moment felt unreal. Like a dream, somehow. It wouldn't be so strange at all, for us to wake up suddenly, for this not to have happened. Frankly, the situation was quite unbelievable.

I kissed him. And he kissed back.

What was I even thinking?

We clung to each other now, a little lost and out of breath. A minute that felt like an eternity passed and we were still both feeling overwhelmed. A line was crossed in our relationship. I may have started it, but he was not without fault either. The act was not without his consent.

So what happens now?

"Yukinoshita... I..."

I shake my head and tug at his shirt, stopping him for a moment. My head throbbed, and I felt dizzy with worry. Did he kiss me out of pity? Afraid that he'd hurt me if he didn't reciprocate? Or was he just swept up in the moment? I didn't know.

"Hey," He mumbles. "What just happened?"

I glance up at him. He looked confused, dazed, shocked. Like someone who's had his world turned upside down without warning. I would have thought it funny if it weren't my fault.

"...that should be obvious." I answer lamely. What was I to say? I wasn't sure why I did it myself. I may have just gotten carried away.

"No... I mean," He narrows his eyes at me. "Why?"

I stare back, unsure at how I should react. Was he being intentionally dense? But if I say the wrong words now, I could ruin everything.

Stupid. I berate myself. Just stupid.

"Hikigaya-kun," I mumble, stalling for time. What should I tell him? That I'm in love with him? Was I? I can't deny that I feel something for him. But was I truly in love? Or am I just afraid of losing him?

"I don't get it." He grumbles again. "Why?"

"...it's not like you didn't want to." I mutter accusingly. He hadn't needed encouragement, he became quite enthusiastic half-way through.

"Ah, well." His cheeks blush even brighter. "I'm a guy, so..."

I frown. "So you're saying you'd be fine with any other woman?"

"Uh, no." He gives me a disgruntled look, but recovers. "Wait. Don't try to change the subject."

I turn my head away from him. We were both standing in my doorway, the door still open. I checked the hallway for people, just in case. It would have been quite embarrassing if we were seen by my neighbors. We were still locked in an embrace, his hands were loosely draped around my hips and mine were on his shoulders. It was obvious that we were doing something... intimate.

"Yukinoshita."

"W-what?"

"Why did you, um," He gives me a helpless look. "you know."

"Well," I glare at him defensively. "Can't you figure it out for yourself?"

He tilts his head and makes a guess. "Um, because you're really drunk?"

"Guess again." I mutter menacingly. "Just because I'm not entirely sober doesn't mean I've lost all reason." Just misplaced them, I thought bleakly.

"I still don't get it." He answers, sounding petulant. "Yukinoshita, I don't know what's happening..."

"Don't be dense." I mumble. "You know I have... "

"What?"

I struggle for the words and mutter. "...feelings..."

"Huh?"

I duck my head, feeling my cheeks heat up. Why can't he take a hint? I take a step back, gently pushing him away. This was a little too much for me to handle at the moment. I was feeling afraid and too nervous to proceed, and my thoughts were all a jumble. Best to retreat for now.

"Never mind." I brush my hair away. Trying to act casually annoyed. "You can go now. Good night."

"Eh!?" His eyes puff out. "You're saying that now?"

"Why? Were you expecting something?" I pull myself together and try to look intimidating. "It's getting late. You said so yourself. You should leave."

I take another step back, hands reaching for the doorknob. I try to swing it shut.

"W-wait!"

He steps inside just before I could close the door. I glare at him.

"Hikigaya-kun..."

"I can't leave without clearing things up." He frowns back.

I shake my head in frustration. Of course he wouldn't. Not surprising, after all he's been through. I understood his feelings well. Getting your hopes up, only to misunderstand, to be faced with despair. To be burdened by questions of sincerity. I know. I have felt the same way.

But how to resolve this? Can I tell him about my feelings? Can I truly be honest with them? There were so many things to consider. My imminent transfer. My family situation. His feelings.

Yuigahama-san.

Just thinking about her was making my heart break.

This was all my fault, however. I have to face the consequences of my actions. Though I'd rather face them sober and calm. Not like this. Not with my throat tasting of liquor and my mind jittery.

I breathe slowly and deeply, trying to regain my composure. But with him standing in front of me, looking at me expectantly, I wasn't entirely successful.

"I'm sorry, Hikigaya-kun, but I think you should..."

"...ah, damn it."

He moves close and I look up, just in time for his lips to press on mine.

His eyes were closed tightly and I could feel just how desperate he was, and I feel my heart clench in sympathy. I close my eyes and respond, tentatively moving my lips against his, I try to forget my worries, hoping they'd go away along with his.

He opens his mouth a fraction, pushing hard against mine. I gasp as I feel his tongue slide on my lips, making them moist. I shiver and moan in pleasure, feeling my legs weaken. I put my hands on his chest to steady myself.

After a few seconds, we both pause and I let myself lean away from him. I was still trembling, and from what I could feel of him, so was he.

"Hikigaya-kun," I pant, looking up at him in wonder. "Um..."

He stares at me, eyes glazed. And I wait for him to gather himself, to explain. His eyes focus on mine after a few seconds and he opens his mouth to speak. My pulse quickens in anticipation.

Does he have feelings for me? Will he tell me now? I felt both terrified and hopeful.

But then he says, "Errr...equivalent exchange, ever heard of that?"

What?

I stare at him, waiting for more. But from his expression, there didn't seem to be any. "...an eye for an eye?"

"Yeah... since you kissed me, I, um, figured I owed you one." He looks away and frowns. His cheeks were bright red and his eyes were looking away nervously. "I'm not letting you take one over me, you know."

"Oh." I let out a breath, feeling both relieved and disappointed. "Does this make us even now?"

"N-no, I don't think so."

I frown. "Why?"

"Um... mine was better." He grumbles.

My mind screeches to a halt and I laugh in surprise and delight. What was that about? Is he taunting me? If he is, then letting him take the lead now just won't do.

On impulse, I lean in and tilt my head upwards. I let my lips drag slowly along his cheek, his jaw and down his neck, where I kiss him hard enough to feel his pulse. He gasps and I feel his arms stiffen around me. I look up and smirk.

"There." I announce. That should make us quite even. Though you can't really quantify this sort of thing. I felt my assumption was near it's mark.

"Y-yeah," He clears his throat. "Um, my turn?"

I shrug, keeping my smile in place. Though inside I felt like a runner crossing the finish line, only to realize there was another race to follow.

He pulls me in hesitantly, his hand pressed nervously on my back as his head faces the side of my face. I feel his lips close in on my earlobe and I try to stifle a moan. He does something with his mouth that sends a tingle of pleasure rising from the roots of my hair down to the tip of my spine. My knees buckle and I cling to him.

"...you seem to know what you're doing." I whisper, half-accusing and half-curious.

"Really? Well... you can learn a lot of useless things from books and the internet. Like erogenous zones and stuff."

"Not so useless, I think. And why would you even research about these things?" I grumble and shake my head. "Never mind. I don't want to know."

"...I'm studying psychology. Sexuality is part of that and you can get sidetracked when you're searching stuff..." He rambles.

"Of course," I nod as I pull myself slightly away. I take a look at my surroundings, the door was still open, and the hallway was right behind him, but we were now inside my apartment, and just a few steps away from my living room.

I was standing on a ledge, a deep pit before me. One I could jump into and lead me somewhere else, and it could be heaven or hell. The chances were almost equal. But there was a chance for something real here. A chance I can only take now, if I were brave enough to reach for it.

Would it be okay for me to do so? How far can I push our relationship? And where would that leave us after?

Acting without thought of the consequences put me in this predicament. I was feeling wary, despite everything that's happened. I've already taken enough risks for one evening. And there was still the chance that I might lose everything, that I might end up with nothing.

But then, wouldn't it be senseless to keep worrying about the future? Letting it chain down the present?

I tilt my head upward, to look deep into his eyes, and I thought: What was I to him?

Suddenly, I knew there was no turning back. I needed to know. I needed an answer. How could I bear to let things lie as they are? The lines we crossed tonight could never be retraced. Our relationship was irrevocably changed. There was no other choice but to move forward.

I clear my throat loudly and gesture behind me.

"Would you like to go back and sit on the sofa?" I flinch at my question. I sounded too hopeful, it was embarrassing.

He blinks rapidly and nods. I close the door behind him and nudge him towards the living room. He walks slowly, unsure despite his agreement, so I tug at his sleeve until we reach the sofa. I gesture for him to sit down and he looks at me nervously. I push him down and I stand before him.

"I suppose it's my turn now." I whisper under my breath, and I hesitate a moment, thinking of what to do next. I don't want to overextend myself and scare him away. But then again, I've already made my decision. If I aim for the stars and miss, I still might catch the moon.

I swallow back my anxiety and step forward, placing my knee on the sofa's edge, I then put my hands on the sides of his head to balance myself and to keep him in place. His eyes are open wide and his mouth hanging open as I move my other leg closer, settling myself slowly on his knee.

"W-wait, t-this is a bit..."

He looks at me anxiously, his hands raised to defend himself. He doesn't push me away, however, not unless he wants to grope my chest in the process. I close in on him, kissing him tentatively. He lets out a sigh. A sign of him giving up, perhaps? I decide to use my tongue in an attempt to imitate the kissing scenes I've seen in movies or described in books and I feel immensely gratified when I hear him moan.

I pull myself closer, wanting more physical contact. I angle my head just right, to make it easier. I wrap my arms around his neck to embrace him, diminishing the distance between us. I felt warm, and oddly frustrated at the amount of cloth separating us. A tiny part of my brain was panicking, sending signals to the rest of my body, telling me that we were going too far and too fast. But I didn't stop. I couldn't. I felt like a dam inside me had burst, and now several years worth of yearning was...

My thoughts scatter and I jerk backward, quickly moving myself a few inches away from him. My cheeks on fire, I turn my gaze downward.

"S-sorry." He says quickly, his face red with embarrassment.

"N-no," I pull my eyes away from it. "It's a completely natural physical reaction. I was just... surprised."

"Y-yeah," He breathes in deep, trying to compose himself. "Uh, m-maybe we should just call it a day. I'm not sure if I can stop myself if we keep this up."

"Oh," I nod back. It was probably the right thing to do. But... "Do you want to stop?"

"...well, of course not." He looks at me longingly. "But we can if you want to."

"Well..." I stop and consider my options.

If we go on like this, we were bound to do more than just kissing and touching. We were moving just too fast. After all the progress we'd made, wouldn't it be wise to stop here?

But I felt restless and unsatisfied. I still didn't have my answer. And it was unbearably tempting to make him stay. I know I could make the offer. I was willing to give myself up to him, to give him everything. To let myself go.

I smile wryly at our predicament, and at myself. It was such a depressing thought, how badly I wanted him. And to think he used to call me an Ice Queen.

Oh, how much we've changed.

I sigh loudly, reaching a decision. I suppose I could be making the wrong decision, and a time may come when I'll think of this night with regret. But how am I supposed to know for sure?

This could mean an ending, but perhaps, this could be a beginning as well.

But only if he wants it to be.

"I...I'm not against it if you aren't."

"What?"

"Don't make me repeat myself, Hikigaya-kun." I grumble, feeling anxious and drained. The ball was in his court now, the choice now his to make. "Do you want to continue or not?"

I hold my breath and wait, my heart beating faster by the second, ready to jump out and run away.

Thankfully, it doesn't take him long to reach a decision.

He straightens up, his hand trembling slightly as he holds onto my hip. And with a jerky movement reminiscent of terror, he kisses me on the lips.

I suppose I can take that as a yes.

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"..."

"..."

"..."

"C-could you please stop staring?" I complain. "And please, close your mouth, you're drooling."

He shuts his mouth with an audible snap, but his eyes remain fixed on my chest. We were now both inside my room, lying on my bed, our clothes off. We'd taken our time at the sofa. Enjoying one another. But as our kisses became more heated, the novelty quickly wore off. We pulled at our clothes and stumbled our way into my bedroom and onto my bed. And now he was propped up on his elbows, watching me from above, a stupid - and quite disgusting - look on his face. Though the lights were off, the moon outside was shining bright, and my pale skin seemed to glow. We were both under the covers, but the light was angled in a way to make most of my upper body visible, and he was now enjoying the view.

"Hikigaya-kun... really..." I mumble, feeling more and more embarrassed. "If you don't say anything..."

I hesitantly cover my breasts with my arm. It was quite late for me to do so and I wasn't completely unhappy with his admiration. Nor was I feeling insecure, at least not entirely. Obviously, mine weren't as large as others, but at least the shape was perfect, and his obvious desire for me did boost my confidence quite a lot. It's just that his regard was just a little too much for me to take. He seemed almost worshipful or hungry. I was confused. Was I a Goddess in his eyes, or a side of beef? It was making me a little uncomfortable.

"S-sorry," He chokes out, snapping out of his reverie, his eyes focusing on mine.

"It's fine." I smile at him. "I can't blame you for being fascinated. A man such as yourself would never dream of an opportunity such as this. You are quite blessed, Hikigaya-kun."

"Y-yeah," He smiles wryly at me. "I can't help it. I spent most of the evening watching you in that dress. My mind's numb after all that stimulation."

"Ah, I see." I thank Nee-san quietly. Perhaps the dress wasn't such a bad idea after all. "Did you have fun undressing me with your rotten eyes? How does reality compare to your fantasies? You are quite the lucky man, aren't you?"

I chuckle as he throws me an annoyed look. He then shuts his eyes with a loud sigh.

"I wasn't the only one fantasizing about you." He whines. "You were pretty generous with your blessings. Walking all over the place, turning this way and that."

"How exactly..." I feel a lump of ice form inside me."...did I... did the dress... reveal something it shouldn't?"

Did I have a wardrobe malfunction? One that I didn't even notice? That would be horrifying.

"Huh?" He looks at me, confused at my reaction. He then shakes his head, as if to clear his cluttered mind. "No, I don't think so. There were others who wore gowns a little more revealing than yours. I was mostly talking about the guys who kept staring at you at the party."

"Oh, good." I sigh in relief. This was something normal. It was something I've gotten used to and something I've learned to ignore. Though the stares I gathered earlier were probably more than what I'd get on a normal night, considering my outfit. There must have been quite a lot of them for him to notice.

"Were you jealous?" I tease lightly.

"Nah," He shrugs, dismissive. "I just felt sorry for them. They're in love with you but they don't know just how much of a pain you are. The idiots."

I slap his arm playfully and smile up at him. I was feeling a little more relaxed after our usual back and forth. And I was breathing more easily. But I shouldn't get complacent. The night was still young, and there were... things we still needed to do. And we might as well start, no sense in delaying the inevitable.

I raise one hand and place it on his chest, he was cold to the touch, and I could feel him tremble. "...you can touch me if you want to." I whisper softly.

We'd already gone this far. And he'd seen most of me too. There was no reason at all for me to deny him now.

Though in truth, I wish he didn't look too eager. His intentions were all too clear for me to read.

But I guess we can't all have everything.

I gasp and shiver as his right hand cups my breast. Despite the fact that his hand felt cold and clammy, the pleasure I felt at the contact was so sharp I had to hold my breath.

His lips brush against my shoulder as he lowers his head on the side of my pillow and I whimper as I feel his weight on top of me. His proximity, our intimacy, was driving me insane. To be able to feel so much of him, to be this close, after years of keeping our distance...

I twist my neck to kiss him on the mouth, and I wrap my arms around him, squeezing him tight. His hand starts to roam, slowly moving down my side, stroking my hip and sending a wave of pleasure throughout my body.

I could feel the tip of his arousal pressing against my navel. It was quite distracting, and I was feeling my anticipation and anxiety slowly build. But it was something I need to get used to. Any moment now, he was going to put that thing inside of me. So instead of pulling away, I decide to raise my hip and press myself on him. The moan he lets out was worth the trouble.

In retaliation, he hooks his finger on my panties, and with a sudden jerk downwards, he pulls them off. I gasp and squeeze his arm in surprise. The suddenness of the exposure had me feeling a little annoyed. But I could understand his impatience.

"A warning would have been appreciated."

"Sorry," He breathes out, and I feel his hand squeeze my hip. "I can't hold back anymore. Is it okay if I touch you down there?"

He was breathing hard and his voice sounded hoarse. And with his chest pressed on mine, I could feel his heart beating, fast and erratic. His body now felt exceedingly warm, and I could feel him trembling. To cause such a reaction on him made me feel pleased and afraid at the same time.

"It's fine," I answer, feeling anxious and not just a little excited. "But be gentle, okay?"

He nods as he presses his lips to the side of my neck and I feel his hand slowly move towards my groin. His touch sends me shivering, my skin felt overly sensitive and the feel of his fingers was electric. I was breathing loudly and in gasps, and I could tell that the sounds I was making was having an effect on him.

His hand reaches my intimate area and my hips buckle at the contact. I was filled with a desire for him, to have him touch me, to feel me, to give me pleasure. I wanted more of his attention, and I pull him down closer, hooking my legs to his and moving myself along his body, causing him to groan loudly.

"Yukinoshita..." He breathes out.

"Hikigaya-kun..." I sob, putting as much feeling as I can in my voice.

His hand starts to move, his fingers tracing the outer lip. I pull my panties off completely and spread my legs wider to give him better access. He starts to explore, opening myself wider and dragging a finger down the gap. His touch on my sex causes me to whimper, and the sound makes him press harder.

I lower my hand to touch him, intent on giving back as much as I was taking. I grasp his erection, and I move my hand up and down, stroking and squeezing, making him moan. He reciprocates in kind, slowly inserting his finger inside me, pushing a little deeper each time, pulling it in and out, making wet noises that became embarrassingly louder.

He then lowers his head, trailing kisses along my neck and my shoulder, slowly moving downward. His lips reach my breast and he kisses them lovingly, using tongue and teeth in good measure. Making me cry out his name over and over.

It doesn't take long for me to go over the edge, for the pleasure to reach its peak. I arc my back and call out his name one last time as I grip him hard, the orgasm making me pant and bringing me to tears. He follows after a second, gasping loudly as his seed pours out onto my belly. I close my eyes for a moment, exhausted by the intensity, Hikigaya-kun's head resting on my shoulder, a pleasant and reassuring weight.

He tilts his head after a minute, kissing me lightly on the cheek. "That was..."

"...amazing, yes." I finish for him, nudging his jaw with my nose.

I stroke his back with my hand, tracing patterns on his shoulder as we steady our breathing. The reprieve doesn't last long, however. He was still quite aroused and, to be quite honest, so was I. There was still something yet to do.

"Hikigaya-kun," I whisper, secretly amused at how seductive my voice sounded. "you know what to do next."

There was no need to tell him twice. He raises himself off of me, adjusting his position. He then looks up, his expression serious.

"Tell me to stop if it gets too painful, okay? This could hurt a lot."

I nod at him. "I suppose it might. Though I'm hoping it won't. I tore my hymen years ago, so there's a chance that there won't be any bleeding at least. Hopefully that means that the pain won't - what?"

He looks at me dumbly, his eyes wide and mouth hanging open. "...you tore your what?"

"Oh," I smile in understanding. "Please don't misunderstand."

"Misunderstand what?" He says a little loudly, a hint of panic in his voice.

I chuckle at his reaction, enjoying his distress. But it wouldn't be fair to tease him too much on this, so I raise my hands to cup his face, stroking his cheek in comfort. "Horseback riding used to be one of my hobbies. During summer, back in middle school, my family would go visit our vacation house out in Kanto. We owned a stable and several horses, the land was flat and wide, and Nee-san and I used to ride together." I smile in remembrance. Recalling the wind brushing my hair and the exhilarating feeling of freedom.

"One day," I continue. "Nee-san challenged me to a race. We galloped long and hard, and I tried my best to win but in the end I lost. I felt sore afterwards. On the way back, Nee-san pointed out that I was bleeding. It wasn't my period yet, I knew because I had one just the week before, and I panicked. Nee-san took advantage of that and started teasing me, telling me that I was no longer fit to be a wife. That my first time was wasted on a horse. My mother then tried to reassure me, telling me that this happened occasionally, that my hymen broke because of the stress. And that I was still, technically, a virgin. It was mortifying." I end my story with a shiver.

"O-oh, I'm sorry." He gives me a sympathetic look. "That sounds rough."

"Yes," I muster up a smile. "But that's all in the past. It's not important anymore."

"Yeah," He sighs, a little in relief. "For a moment there, I thought you..." He stops, shaking his head to banish the thought, and I try to fill in the blanks.

"With Hayama-kun?" I ask and he responds with a sheepish nod.

I shake my head in denial. "I would never. You are far more precious to me than he ever was or ever will be."

I feel my cheeks heat up at my admission, and I know he was feeling equally embarrassed. I cough to brush away the feeling, I then smile up at him. "How long will you keep me waiting, Hikigaya-kun?"

With a grunt, he lowers his hip and places himself just outside my entrance. I adjust my position and angle my hips to meet him.

"Okay, here I go..."

He thrusts his hips forward and I spread my legs a little wider as I feel him push. I try not to clench and relax. His thing was now slowly inching its way inside of me, and the pain was sharp enough to put tears in my eyes, sending a chill down my spine that left me shivering. I was never one for self-gratification, I have never touched myself in this manner, so I was completely inexperienced. It was surprising how sensitive I felt. And how awful it was. But this feeling of intimacy, of closeness, made the discomfort bearable, and more than worth it.

I decide to push myself down on him, hoping to finish it in one stroke. I was quite wet with desire and the rest of him slid easily all the way in. The shock of pain had me gasping for air, and it felt immensely uncomfortable and invasive. But we were both connected now. And that thought fills me with wonder, enough to make everything else feel unimportant, just tiny little details beside the all encompassing feeling of unity.

I finally understood. I could finally see what the big deal was. Why some couples were so happy, why some of my female classmates would look at them with jealous eyes. To feel this complete with someone else was a joy.

I wipe my tears away as I catch my breath, laughing a little hysterically.

"Hey, you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine." I kiss him soundly on the lips. "Don't mind me."

He pulls himself out a little, carefully withdrawing, and I gasp at the friction. I cross my legs behind his back and push him downwards, encouraging him. He begins to move rhythmically. The constant strokes set a pulse of pleasure slowly building deep inside me, and I cling hard to his shoulder to pull him down, wanting more. My gasps eventually turn into cries and I kiss him to silence myself, pushing my tongue inside his mouth, synching with his thrusts. I press myself harder to him, the sound of my flesh slapping on his egging me on, driving me wild. It doesn't take long for us to lose our rhythm, to thrust at each other erratically. I try to hold back a little longer, only to fail as he pushes hard against me just as I was pulling him down. The pleasure peaks and my hips convulse as I cry out, my mind blank and my legs numb. I breathe fast to catch my breath, holding onto him as my body continues to spasm. He grunts a heartbeat later as he reaches orgasm, and I feel him throbbing inside me, the movement sending me over again, making me weep.

We stay still afterwards, feeling drained, and for the moment, satiated. I kept my eyes closed, enjoying the feel of his body, his weight resting on mine. I raise one hand and place it on his head to stroke his hair.

"Yukinoshita..." He whispers after a while. "Sorry."

"What for?" I answer drowsily.

"For hurting you."

"It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be." In fact, I enjoyed it more than I thought I would. But he doesn't need to know that.

He coughs lightly. "I also came a lot inside you."

"Oh." I open my eyes a fraction.

"Is that okay?"

I think about it for a moment. "I haven't had my period yet."

"What does that mean?"

"It means it's not okay."

"Oh."

I twist below him and he pulls himself off of me to lie on my side. I turn to face him and smile.

"Don't worry. Getting pregnant isn't as easy as one would initially assume. And I believe there are contraceptives I could take to avoid it." I reassure him.

"Oh," He closes his eyes in relief. "That's good."

"Is it so unappealing to you?" I complain half-heartedly. "We would have to marry if I end up carrying your child. That would be a tragedy on my part but a miracle on yours, if you think about it."

"You're over-exaggerating." He retorts, voice muffled by my pillow. "I'm not that bad. I'd make a great house husband. You'd be lucky to have me."

I sigh dramatically. "I'm skilled at cooking and I'm capable of doing household chores. Despite my image, I am quite domesticated. A house husband would be redundant. I don't need one."

I wipe the sweat of my brow and fix my hair. The movement catches his attention, and his admiring gaze slowly moves from my hands, to my arms, to my shoulder and downwards. I feel flattered by his attention and I try my best not to preen.

"Yukinoshita," He speaks up, his voice a low rumble. I couldn't help but feel a thrill of excitement at the sound. "Are you feeling okay?"

I swallow to wet my throat. "Yes, I suppose. I'm feeling a little sore, but I'm fine."

"...can we try again?"

"...I don't see why not." I answer a little too quickly. But what use was dignity in the face of love? Or whatever it is we're feeling right now.

I take a deep breath and roll towards him, placing myself on top of him, my hands on his chest, pushing him down. I sit up, letting the bed covers fall away, exposing my flesh. He stares at me openly, his eyes wide as he takes it all in. I grin at him haughtily, pleased by his reaction.

"Well then, Hikigaya-kun." I flick my hair out of my eyes. "My turn."

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My head felt like an overripe melon, and the light outside like knives trying to pierce it. I groan and turn around, burrowing deep into my pillow. I reach my hand out tentatively, hoping to snuggle. But instead of warmth, I find only empty space.

I open my eyes to squint and for a second I panic as I register his absence. I breathe out and settle down quickly, however. I know he wouldn't be that insensitive. His side of the bed was empty, but there was a lingering warmth on the space he vacated. He was probably just using the bathroom.

With a grunt, I sit up slowly and carefully, trying to avoid making any movement that would cause the sore parts of my body additional grief. I look out the window, wondering at the time. The sun was shining brightly outside, and almost at its peak.

Putting my feet on the floor, I take a long look at my bed and the rest of my surroundings. The sheets were crumpled, and there were noticeable stains on some places, a testament to our activities last night. Our clothes were lying on the floor as well, thrown away randomly as we went our way towards the bed.

I stand up and groan, feeling my body ache. My stamina was never something I could brag about, and last night's activities had taxed me greatly. I stretch to try and ease away the soreness. Though there was not much I could do with the discomfort I felt down there. Except maybe to take a nice warm bath.

Now that was a good idea, a bath would be absolutely perfect. I was feeling sticky all over, and my hair was a mess. A good long bath would make me feel right as rain.

The idea of soaking in the tub gave me a little burst of energy. And I walk smartly towards my closet, grabbing a bathrobe within. I tie my hair up into a loose ponytail and I step out of the room to look around, Hikigaya-kun wasn't in the living room or the kitchen and the bathroom door was closed. I head towards it and twist the doorknob, finding it locked. It seemed that my guess was right.

I walk inside the kitchen to prepare breakfast instead. I browse through the cupboards to check for ingredients and I open the fridge and give the contents a more careful look, quickly crossing off items that were obviously spoiled. With what I had left, I decide to make a pasta dish.

I grab the ingredients and arrange them on the kitchen counter. I then start to boil the water for the pasta.

I decide to clean up in the meantime. I walk into my room to gather up our clothes, and to fix the bed sheets. As I tidy up, I notice a slight sour smell in the air, and I blush at the thought of its cause. I decide to spray aerosol all over the bed and the room to cover it up. I then proceed to the living room where we'd started to undress, grabbing Hikigaya-kun's coat and shirt off the table and folding them neatly.

I go back inside my room to place them among his other things. And that's when I notice my phone, peeking out of my handbag.

A small feeling of dread starts to niggle its way into my thoughts.

I reach out slowly, grabbing it from my bag. With my hand trembling slightly, I turn it on.

There were 8 missed calls and 11 messages.

Oh no.

I'd completely forgotten. I hadn't sent any messages to my father or to Nee-san on the way home. I'd been too occupied. And then last night happened.

I groan as I check my inbox. Most of the messages were from Nee-san. A few were from my father. One from Yuigahama-san's. I ignore hers for the moment, she usually sends something random on a daily basis, something like "I ate an omelet for breakfast!". I open the ones from Nee-san and father. Father was asking worriedly about me, but his text wasn't the last one I received. I check Nee-san's messages next, most were questions, coupled by a few thinly veiled threats. But it looks as if Nee-san managed to cover for me. Telling my father and mother that I was staying in my apartment, and that I'd sent her a message notifying her about my decision. She'd guessed correctly, but there was an underlying warning in her last message. That if I wasn't where she expected me to be, there would be hell to pay.

There was only one way for her to know for sure.

I spin around and walk to the bathroom. Intent on warning Hikigaya-kun. But just as I step out of my room, a loud series of knocks suddenly echoes through the apartment.

"Yukino-channnn!"

A cheery voice calls out from behind the door.

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 **AN**

I'm so sorry! Again!

This chap was freaking tough to write. Had to deal with a bad case of writer's block the first two weeks. Couldn't write past the 1k word mark, re-did the chap, and then I couldn't write more than 2k, so I ended up redoing it again.

I initially tried to keep it T rated, but if I did so, I'd have been forced to condense the lemon scene into 1-3 paragraphs, which would have been hard and kind of disappointing to do. So I ended up writing whatever came to mind and I got 2k words worth of smut. I didn't expect to write that much, and I sort of hate myself for it, but meh, that was one of my original goals anyway, so I guess it's okay... I think.

Also, as I was writing this fic, I had several things in mind. One, horseback riding: in vol 1, Yukino's and Haruno's character profile have it under hobbies. So I figured something like her hymen tearing up wouldn't be too out of place. Two, real world ( possibly TMI ) trivia, about a woman's first time experience: the pain they feel is inversely proportional to their arousal, there are exceptions to the rule but this is mostly true.

Anyway, to the guys who find lemons a bit uncomfortable, I cut the chap in a way to make it clear where the scene would start. So, hopefully, you guys managed to avoid or skim the parts that might be a bit cringey to you.

Also, thanks guys for reviewing and sending me pms and stuff. It's very encouraging and uplifting to hear from you people!

I'll be trying my best to update faster now, I might be busy late next week but for the next 7 days, I'm more or less free. My goal right now is to finish this story before Jan 3 (?) or Yukino's bday, whenever that is. There's a chance that v12 might get published on that date, so I'd rather spend my time hunting for spoilers and translations around that time.

Anonymouse ( and everyone else who's worried ) - I wrote a timeline, or a checklist sort of thing back when I was still working on ch 6. ( or maybe 7, or around that time anyway ) so basically I already have a plot outline, if that's what it's called. I have an idea of what's going to happen in ch12,13, and so on. I have a somewhat clear picture of the beginning and ending of each chap, it's the middle parts that give me trouble. I also tend to make a few changes along the way, some small, some big, but essentially, all is good. So you guys don't have to worry about this fic becoming undone. I have things planned and all I need is the time to write em out in a way that won't end up in me hating myself too much. :D


	12. Chapter 12

Like a deer caught under the headlights of a truck, I freeze.

"...Yukino-chan?"

She calls out a little softly this time.

Was it too late for me to hide him? Is it even possible? Maybe under the bed? Or perhaps inside the closet? I look around the apartment for other options.

"I'm coming in..."

"Wait..." I cry out, but it was too late to stop her from pushing the door open. The door was locked, but it wasn't surprising for her to have a copy of the keys.

She steps inside with a grin as her eyes lock on mine. She then does a quick survey around the room as she closes the door behind her. Her eyes light up as her gaze settles down on Hikigaya-kun's shoes and she makes a victorious 'hah' sound. She takes her heels off and puts them carefully beside Hikigaya-kun's shoes while chuckling under her breath. She then walks towards me, a smile stretching from ear to ear.

"Yukino-chan, really, stealing my date from me. I didn't think you had it in you." She pauses to raise an eyebrow at my bathrobe. "I hope I didn't interrupt."

"I...I was thinking of taking a bath."

"Together?" She says with a leer. "Where is he, anyway?"

My eyes reflexively turn to the bathroom door before I could stop myself. I open my mouth to speak, but no words come out. What was the point of trying to deceive her? He'd come out sooner or later. And there was no way to fool her into thinking he wasn't here, not after seeing his shoes near the doorway. I raise my hand and point.

"Oh, so you're joining him then?" Her eyes brighten with glee.

"Um, no..." I shake my head hastily. "I...I was just making breakfast. I'll take my bath after he's done."

"Is that right?" She takes a peek at the kitchen. "I won't mind if you go in with him. In fact, I insist. I'll take care of breakfast." She winks.

"No, thank you. That's unnecessary."

"What are you saying? I'm trying to help you Yukino-chan! Let Nee-san give you her support!" She pokes my arm, as she walks into the kitchen. "Go ahead and have your bath. Take your time and enjoy! I promise I won't be a bother."

I stay rooted on the spot, trying to project my hostility. "You already are."

She takes a sweeping look at the ingredients. "Carbonara is it?"

"Nee-san..." I stop as I notice the bathroom door open a crack. I turn away from her to approach Hikigaya-kun. He was standing just behind the door, looking hesitantly outside.

"Hikigaya-kun?" I lean in and whisper.

"Hey," The door opens a little wider and he peeks out cautiously. "Why is she here?"

"Nee-san is here to check on me." I answer apologetically. "She's in the kitchen right now, working on breakfast. I'll try to make her leave once she's done. You can take a bath in the meantime."

"Um," He fidgets. "Does she know about..."

"She doesn't know for sure..." I sigh and my shoulders slump. "But she does have her suspicions. You know how she is. It doesn't help that I look like this." I gesture at my bedraggled bath-robed form.

"You look fine." He looks me up and down. "You look hung-over, that's all."

"I guess..."

Perhaps it's not too late? He did have a point. I am hung-over. I should look the part, at least. My eyes and lips looked suspiciously puffy, however. It might not be enough to get rid of Nee-san's suspicions. But that doesn't mean I shouldn't try.

I shake my head and focus on Hikigaya-kun. I asked him to take a bath so that I'd have time to talk to Nee-san alone, but how was he going to leave after he's done? In a towel? That would be a little strange considering where he was. Nee-san would certainly find it suspicious. I'd need to take his clothes from my room and hand it over to him discreetly.

Ah, yes, my room.

...which I left open.

A shriek makes us both jump and I turn around hastily to look for its source, worried not because I thought the person was in danger, but because the sound hadn't come from the kitchen. And just as I suspected, the kitchen area was now empty, and the door to my room was wide open.

"What happened?" Hikigaya-kun asks behind me.

Nee-san exits my room a second later and her eyes flicker as she takes a good look at me, her mouth twisting into a sadistic grin. I could just about see the thoughts running through her head, her delight at seeing the contents and state of my room, her suppositions of what occurred between Hikigaya-kun and I, and her ideas on how to take advantage of the fact.

I stay in place and wait for her to speak up as I dream idly of fratricide.

"Yukino-chan!" She moves swiftly towards me. "Nee-san would like to talk to you for a little bit. And oh, Hikigaya-kun! Good morning!"

She stops just in front of me to look over my shoulder at Hikigaya-kun, giving him a radiant smile.

"What are you two whispering about?" She chirps. "I'm making breakfast, Hikigaya-kun. A rather late one, but that's understandable, considering." She gives both of us a suggestive wink. "Why don't you join us? Is pasta okay? Or would red bean rice be more appropriate? But we don't have the ingredients for that though. Ah!" She claps her hand to her mouth, eyes widening. "We could have that for lunch! I'll just go out and buy what we need! What do you think?"

"No." We snap and glare at her.

"You guys are no fun." She pouts. "Ah well, the idea's a little outdated anyway, so I guess that's fine. I'll just make breakfast extra special to make up for it. I may not look it, but I'm pretty good at cooking you know!"

She examines the two of us for a few seconds longer. I look at her steadily, giving nothing away, or at least, I hope I was. With one last laugh, she heads back to the kitchen, tilting her head at me in a gesture to follow her. I glare at her and turn my attention back on Hikigaya-kun.

"Take a bath. You can use the Pan-san towel."

"Wait. What are we going to do about her?"

"Would you help me hide her body?"

He stops and stares at me oddly.

"...it was a joke." I add.

"They say jokes are half meant."

"Yes, I know."

He gives me a sardonic grin. "I'll talk to her. But could you pass me my clothes first?"

"No. I'd rather not have you lie for my sake. But I will get you your clothes. Just wait a moment."

"But..."

"Let me take care of it." I give him a reassuring smile. "Just take a bath in the meantime."

"Fine." He sighs wearily. "But the Pan-san towel? There's another one right beside-"

"The other towel is Yuigahama-san's."

His eyebrows rise but he doesn't comment further. I then walk back into my room to get his things, handing them over to him quickly. And with a tired sigh of surrender, I then proceed to the kitchen.

"Nee-san, I can take care of breakfast." I announce as I enter the kitchen area. Her back was turned towards me, she was busy preparing the ingredients. "You don't have to bother yourself. In fact, you don't have to stay here too. Please feel free to leave, immediately if possible."

"Is this cream still okay?"

"Yes, of course. I checked." I frown at her back. "What do you want Nee-san? I'm here, I'm safe and I'm fine. Go tell mother and leave me alone."

"That won't do Yukino-chan. You owe me for last night." She frowns at me disapprovingly, her voice tinged with annoyance. "Is that how you treat someone who's helped you out? I was the one who had to deal with mother and father yesterday. And mother was quite livid, mind you. You should have heard her go on and on, even father got his share. They were also worried. Quite a bit actually. You owe them an apology, Yukino-chan."

"I suppose I do." I sigh and carefully take a seat, wincing lightly. I was still feeling a little sore. And sitting on a chair with light padding felt somewhat uncomfortable. "And I'm sorry for last night as well, it wasn't my intention. I simply forgot to notify you. I'll make it up to you some other way, some other time. Perhaps you should go back and talk to mother? Let her know I'm fine so she doesn't worry?" I hopefully suggest.

She chuckles as she adds a little oil and salt into the pot. She then follows with the pasta sticks.

"We still need to talk." She turns to face me, arms crossed beneath her chest. "So... you and Hikigaya-kun, hm?"

I shrug noncommittally.

"So, how was it?"

"What do you mean?"

"Was he any good?" She bends forward, whispering conspiratorially.

I glare at her silently and she laughs dismissively at my reaction. "Tell me the truth, did you or did you not, sleep with him?"

I keep my mouth shut as she closes the distance between us. She puts her hands on the table to loom over me, giving me a fierce grin while our eyes locked.

"Come on, Yukino-chan." She whispers menacingly. "You can tell Nee-san. If you won't, I'll ask Hikigaya-kun. And I won't be nice about it."

I grit my teeth and try to stare her down.

"If you tell me, I'll forget about last night." She offers, her voice sweet. "And I won't tell mother what I saw in your room today."

I turn away worriedly. The threat was clear in her offer. If I don't answer, then she'll tell mother, letting her draw her own conclusions. That would be a truly horrifying scenario. She was making me choose between two evils. And the lesser one was her.

It was hardly a choice.

"Fine." I grudgingly mutter.

"Fine what?"

"Hikigaya-kun spent the night here." I answer vaguely.

"...both of you in the same bed this time?"

I keep my mouth shut stubbornly. I won't lie. But I couldn't bring myself to tell her the truth either.

Of course, my silence was just as good as a 'yes'.

She lets out a loud laugh while she claps her hands excitedly.

"Yukino-chan, I'm so proud of you!" She turns her back on me to check on the pot and busy herself with the other preparations. "You can talk to me about these things you know. I'd be glad to give you advice. I can teach you a few tricks. And if you listen to me, he'll be eating out of your hand in no time, I promise."

"I don't need your advice, Nee-san. I'm better off without it."

"Your loss." She shakes her head ruefully. "So, the two of you are dating now, huh? About time I think, really, how many years has it been since you started falling in love with him?"

"Stop running your mouth." I complain.

"It's a shame that you'll be in different universities once the new school year starts. It's not that far but he's surrounded by several women interested in him, you know. You won't be able to keep an eye on him if you're away. He might be tempted to sample other dishes..." She chuckles under her breath.

"He isn't like that." I answer back. "And we have still yet to talk about our... relationship. But I won't be going to Tokyo if I can help it."

"What do you mean?" She stops and turns to look at me with a frown.

"I'm going to ask father to let me stay here, again."

"No, not that. What do you mean you haven't talked about your relationship?"

"Exactly that." I say, feeling a little annoyed at her question."We haven't had the chance..."

"Oh? Is that all?" She gives me flat look. "How much did you drink last night? Were the two of you drunk?"

"I can't say I was sober, but I don't see what that has to do with-"

"So the two of you had a one night stand then?" She rolls her eyes at me.

"Of course not!" I reply hotly. "We've known each other for years, it could never be that simple. Or shallow."

"Fine then." She smiles indulgingly. "Anyway, you're going to ask father again huh? What makes you think he'll say yes this time?"

"I'm not sure if he'll say yes. But I'm going to try anyway." I clench my jaw in determination. "And I'll try harder this time."

"Well, good luck with that." She gives me a wry look before turning back to her cooking. "You really can't stand being around us, can you?"

I shake my head. "It's more than just that."

Her gaze flicks towards the bathroom door, and with a smile and a nod, she says, "Oh, I see."

"That's not it, either." I protest. "Though it is part of the reason."

"Really? You seemed to be okay with the transfer before last night." She grins suggestively. "He's that good, huh?"

"What are you talking about? It's not that. Last night... what it meant... what it means... simply tipped the scales." I grumble, stealing a glance at the bathroom door. "I have more reasons to stay, now."

"Hmm, that so?"

She continues to cook and I let her. There wasn't much I could do about the current situation anyway. Nee-san already knows. And it doesn't seem like she'll tell mother. So for now, we were safe.

A few minutes pass and Hikigaya-kun eventually finishes his bath, coming out of the bathroom looking refreshed. He approaches the kitchen right after, eyeing Nee-san warily. He then takes a seat beside me.

"You should take a bath." He suggests, eyes still following Nee-san, like a cat eyeing his prey. Or some larger predator, in this case.

"Do I smell that bad?"

I tease him, making him turn away from her to give me an affronted look. I smile to complete the joke and walk away, grabbing a change of clothes inside my room. I then proceed to the bathroom quickly. I wanted to be done as fast as I can, I didn't want to leave Hikigaya-kun alone with Nee-san for too long. It was easy to think what they would end up talking about without me there. I was worried what unnecessary things Nee-san might tell him about me.

And besides, the moment I enter the bathroom, I was assailed by thoughts of Yuigahama-san. Her shampoo bottle, her soap, her towel. Memories of moments we spent here, taking baths together, laughing and gossiping all the while. Traces of her presence were all around me and it made me feel immensely uncomfortable. The idea of taking a long hot bath became less appealing by the second and I go about my business as fast as I could.

I approach the kitchen after a little over a quarter hour, feeling a little better, physically if not emotionally. The food was ready, he and Nee-san were waiting. A cup of coffee and a plate of pasta were placed in front of and beside Hikigaya-kun, I take my seat next to him to start the meal.

"Okay now," Nee-san starts off. "Can you guys tell me exactly what happened last night? And don't skimp on the details! I want to know every juicy bit." She pouts and looks at me. "Hikigaya-kun wouldn't tell. He says he doesn't want to talk without you here."

Hikigaya-kun ignores her, his attention focused on his meal. I was now feeling a little pang of regret that it was Nee-san who cooked breakfast and not me.

"That's none of your business, Nee-san." I answer as I take my gaze off of him, distracting myself with a sip of coffee. "You have my thanks for last night and for making breakfast, but don't get carried away."

"Still so cold!" She complains. "And it is my business! I'm your big sis and I can't help but worry. Of course I'm glad the two of you got together, but I don't want somebody calling me aunt yet!"

We both stiffen up at her remark and she laughs at us gaily.

"Don't worry, I was only kidding," She continues. "I won't actually mind being an aunt."

"Nee-san, could you please stop?" I groan.

"And you, Hikigaya-kun. How could you just leave me last night?" She pouts at him. "Onee-san was pretty upset you know. A lot of guys would've killed to be my date, and you left me without even bothering to let me know. I got pretty worried too. I had to call Komachi-chan just to make sure you were safe."

"Huh?" Hikigaya-kun perks up. "What did you tell her?"

"Hm? Oh, I just told her you were with Yukino-chan. I didn't want Komachi-chan to worry needlessly. She's studying for exams right? With the two of you disappearing just like that, it was obvious you'd be together."

"Ah, thanks, I guess." He says grudgingly. "And how do you know about her exams anyway?"

"She and I are good friends!" Nee-san rolls her eyes and points her fork at him. "I think it's quite important for me to get along well with my future sister-in-law."

"Yeah, whatever." He grunts and goes back to his meal. Nee-san stares at him a moment longer, her expression oddly peaceful. She then turns her attention to me.

"So, what do you intend to do about mother?"

"I'll cross that bridge when I get there." I answer vaguely. I hadn't really thought about it much, unfortunately.

"You know she has plans for you." She looks at me pointedly. "She wants you to take my place. And when you do, you won't have the freedom to do whatever you want. But! There's also a silver lining. If you let her, it'll be easier for you to build your career later on. She'll do everything to secure your future." She shrugs. "It's not so bad, you know."

She was right. Of course. But if I put myself in that position, it would make a relationship with Hikigaya-kun near impossible. We could try again, a few years later, after we both graduate. But who knows what could happen? Would we still feel the same?

Wasn't I just being selfish? I understood why my parents wanted me close. Their intentions were noble. And yet...I was feeling an odd sense of urgency. What we had, between us, Hikigaya-kun and I was something fragile. I was afraid that if I didn't act to protect or preserve, it would be lost.

But there has to be a way somehow, to keep all the things I want, without causing pain.

"You shouldn't act too rebellious." Nee-san continues. "You wouldn't want to bite the hand that feeds you, would you? You have obligations to meet. Responsibilities to shoulder. And I won't always be there to share them with you."

"Wait." Hikigaya-kun suddenly breaks his silence. "Yukinoshita isn't going to do that. She's not going to run away from you guys. You know that."

"How can you be so sure, Hikigaya-kun?" She tilts her head at him. "She can be like our mother in some ways. Stubborn and selfish. That's why they can't get along. They see themselves in each other." She smirks at me.

Hikigaya-kun glares at her and he opens his mouth to retort but before he could, I reach out to grab his arm and squeeze lightly, signaling him to stop.

"Nee-san, I won't be running away." I turn to her and meet her gaze steadily. "I won't let mother run my life for me. But I won't leave her empty handed as well. I'll find a way to make things work."

"Oh?" She finishes her coffee in one gulp. "I hope you do."

She stands up, taking her plate and mug with her, putting them on the sink.

"I'll give you a few days to take care of things." She says. "I'll go talk to mother. Tell her you're not feeling well and that you'll stay here for a while."

She walks pass us with a wave. And she gestures me to stop when I try to rise from my seat. "Don't bother. I'll see myself out. Oh, and Hikigaya-kun," She turns his attention on him. "You owe me tea. Don't forget."

He stares back at her, face carefully blank.

I glance at the two of them, baffled at the exchange. But Nee-san doesn't elaborate, and Hikigaya-kun didn't seem to think much of it.

Hikigaya-kun and I stay on our seats, as we watch Nee-san walk out the apartment. She closes the door with a final wave at us, and we both sigh in relief as she exits.

I occupy myself with my breakfast, I was still feeling a little light headed and having something in my something would make things a little better. Beside me, Hikigaya-kun was sipping at his coffee a little listlessly, he was staring at something in the distance, deep in thought.

"So," I speak up, feeling curious. "Did you and Nee-san talk about something? What was that about tea?"

"Oh. That." He looks at me oddly. "You don't know? You were there too, I think."

"I was in the bath." I point out, confused by his reply.

"It happened a long time ago," He explains. "But it's not really important. It's nothing."

I ponder on his words. Trying to recall. "...tea..."

And in a flash of recollection, I understood. Of course. Years ago, when Hikigaya-kun met Nee-san for the very first time. She'd said something about having tea with him.

If he becomes my boyfriend, that is.

And is that what he is? After yesterday, he shouldn't be anything less. But does he see me as his girlfriend? Knowing him, he probably thinks it's impossible.

And I suspect he may be right. With Yuigahama-san and my parents to consider, how far could we go?

"Hikigaya-kun," I call out, feeling a little anxious. "Tell me, what... what's going to happen now? What are we?"

"I...don't know." He looks down at his coffee thoughtfully.

He was probably afraid of making an assumption. I understand the feeling, we were both in the same position. Our expectations, our desires, may not coincide. And if we were to find out that this was so. Our relationship would only turn to sorrow.

But I was ready. After last night, after giving him all of myself, why should I hold anything back? And there was no point in being too afraid, of staying in one place. Hikigaya-kun would not allow that. He desires honesty in a relationship. Normally, he should be the one insisting to define ours at this point. But considering the stakes, I could understand well why he would hesitate.

There's just no helping it then.

"Assume for a moment that I am absolutely fine with whatever decision you come up with." I take a deep breath. "That I will hold no grudge or feel no anger, if you were to choose not to continue this relationship. That you and I can stay the way we are if you do so, that we can forget that this ever happened. Assume as well, that I might be willing, and maybe even glad, to pursue," I make a sweeping gesture. "whatever this is."

I smile lightly at him, encouraging. I try my best to control my facial muscles. Hoping my smile doesn't turn into a desperate one.

"Tell me, Hikigaya-kun." I make an effort to keep my voice steady. "Tell me what you want."

He looks at me in the eye and we stare at each other. It may have been a minute, or maybe just a few seconds. But I felt time stop for me, and I held my breath, waiting. Eventually he sighs and puts his mug down, his face solemn.

"If this is... if whatever this is... is something you're okay with... then I'd like it to continue." he pauses to take a deep breath. "I want to know where this is heading. I want to know what this is. I want to know if what we're doing is right." he then smiles wryly. "It certainly feels right."

My smile turns into one of relief and gladness. I close the distance between us, kissing him on the cheek with a muttered 'pervert'.

"I don't find this too disagreeable myself." I say softly, it was like falling at the edge of a cliff only to find out you were saved because of a ledge just underneath.

But we weren't out of trouble yet.

"There will be problems , however." I continue. "And it won't be easy for us. We will both have to make sacrifices. And there are things that I won't be able to let go of. And if these become a strain on our relationship, I'm not sure of what might become of us. Most of these difficulties will be on my part, so I think you should have nothing to complain about."

"Thank you for condescending to be with me."

"Hmm, yes, you're quite welcome."

We share a quick smile.

"We will have to tell Yuigahama-san." I say bleakly. Voicing out my first concern. "I'm afraid of how she'll react."

"...she'll be fine. But I'll be there just in case."

"Thank you."

We pause for a solemn moment, considering the ramifications.

"So," I stand up and gather the dishes. "Have you heard from Komachi-san? I hope she wasn't too distracted by your absence."

"Nah, she's fine." He grumbles. "Too fine. She didn't even notice I was missing. My parents too."

"How unfortunate." I sigh dramatically. "And yet, not surprising."

"Yeah," He yawns apathetically, he then gives me a thoughtful look. "Hey... If you think about it. Your parents aren't so bad. They want to spend more time with you and stuff. And they were really worried about you last night too..."

"Yes, but that's understandable." I turn the tap on and start washing the dishes. "I am an asset to my family while you are simply a liability. Our situations are quite different."

"I'm an investment." He corrects me.

"One that has no returns." I say sadly. "And little hope for future income."

"That's why I'll marry rich."

"Is that why you chose me?"

"Who knows?"

He grins as I throw him a hostile glance. He offers to help me but I shake my head no. I finish washing the dishes quickly, putting them aside. I then dry my hands on a towel and turn to face him.

"So, what are your plans for the day? If you're waiting for something from me..."

"Uh, no. It's the other way around. Is there something I can do for you?"

"Oh, don't worry. I'll take care of things on my end. Though..." I take a seat opposite his. "Tomorrow will be another matter."

It would be best to meet with Yuigahama-san as soon as I can. Keeping it secret from her, even for a few days, might only exacerbate the situation. If she were to find out from someone else, it would spell disaster. Though there was only one other person who knew about us, that person was still the worst possible confidant, and I wouldn't put it beyond her to tell Yuigahama-san everything she knows on a whim.

"Ah, right." He nods in understanding. "Just call me before you two meet up. I'll be there. You sure you don't need me for anything?"

"Well..." I think about what I should do later. I would have to set an appointment with Yuigahama-san. But before that, I'll have to think of a way to mitigate the problems that are sure to come out once I tell her about last night. I would also have to look into what contraceptive to take, just in case. "No. I don't think there's anything you can do for me at the moment. I'll call you if something comes to mind."

"Ah, well, I guess that's that. I think I'll just go head out then." He pauses awkwardly. "I need to make lunch for Komachi too."

"Yes, that's fine." I smile.

He stands up from his seat and walks into the living room to gather the rest of his things. I walk into the bedroom to grab his jacket and hand it over.

"Hey, is it okay if I exit through the lobby?" He asks worriedly. "What if someone sees me and recognizes me? You might get into trouble."

"Wear your glasses and try not to act suspicious. It should be fine."

He nods at my answer. "So..."

Again, another awkward pause. Was he trying not to leave? No. That shouldn't be the case. Was he concerned about what I might think if he just left me alone? I frown at him, feeling a little puzzled.

"I don't have any plans this afternoon, but I do think I need some time alone." I tell him carefully. "I'll probably just stay here."

He nods at my answer, looking a little relieved and grateful. We walk together to the door and he stops just as he steps out.

"Um, about last night, I just want to say, thank you."

I look at him and his expression seemed to be serious. I laugh lightly in response.

"Yes, you should be grateful." I muster a haughty stare.

"Yeah." He laughs along with me. "I feel like I used up a lifetime's worth of luck. I wouldn't be surprised if I get into an accident and die the moment I leave this building."

"Not more than half, surely." I mumble. Since half of it probably would be mine.

"Why's that?"

"Oh, nothing." I wave it off. I then give him a warm smile. "I'm glad last night happened, Hikigaya-kun. Things may be bad for us in the future, but right now, I'm glad." I was still in doubt, however. If Yuigahama-san were to end our friendship and hate me, because of last night, would my words turn into a lie? I kept my smile in place, hoping my unease didn't show.

"Ah, that's..." He looks away, face red. "Yeah, well, I'm glad you feel that way. I-I should go."

On impulse, I step close and stand on my tiptoes, kissing him softly on the lips. I let my lips linger a second or two longer.

"Yes, stay safe. I'll see you tomorrow." I pull back.

"O-oh, right, I'll see you tomorrow." He replies, a little dazed.

I stare at his back as he walks unsteadily away. It was quite a joy to see and I was feeling a little giddy. To make him react this way despite everything that's happened made me feel a little hopeful for what's to come.

With one last wave, he steps into the elevator. I go back inside as the doors close and I head directly to the living room to check if he'd left anything behind. My eyes sweep the area and settle on the couch.

I walk around and stand before it. I then take a seat. I run my hands through the leather.

This was where we sat last night...

I raise my feet up to lie down on the couch, I curl myself into a ball and let my thoughts wander.

There were several concerns I needed to address.

My mother's desire to shape my future. Her wish to help, to reconcile with me, her wish for a better relationship.

My father's career. His support of my mother. His wish to make our family whole.

My sister's desire for independence.

Yuigahama-san's feelings and her friendship.

Hikigaya-kun. And my happiness.

It was all like a tangled yarn. Each of them was connected, somehow, to the rest. And like a cat I gnaw and paw at the ball, trying to make sense of the pattern, and perhaps untangle them.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Y-yukinoshita-senpai!" She exclaims in surprise.

It was an understandable reaction, since I rarely called or messaged her. The only reason I had her phone number was because she gave it to me when she asked for mine in return, back when we graduated. She was saying something about needing my help and guidance in the future. But the truth is, she was just spoiled. I didn't mind however, I was quite fond of her, in my own way.

"Hello, Isshiki-san. How are you?"

"Ah, well, I'm fineeee...?"

"That's good to know." I pause for a second. "About yesterday-"

"Ah! Right!" She interrupts me. "What's going on Yuikinoshita-senpai? Are you really leaving?"

There was a hint of worry in her voice. It was endearing to hear.

"Well... it is a distinct possibility. But I'm doing something about it."

"Ohhh, that's good then. It would've been troublesome without you here." She sighs in relief.

"...I said it was still a possibility. And what do you mean by troublesome?" I frown. She really was spoiled.

"A-ahh, wellll, you know!" She deflects rather vaguely. She then starts to laugh. "Anyway, how'd you like Senpai's disguise? I helped with the makeover you know! He looked really cool rightttt?" She pauses for a second. And her voice turns contemplative. "It was kinda creepy actually."

"Make up your mind." I put pressure on my temple and sigh.

"It was creepy that he looked cool. Senpai totally isn't the type you knooow?"

I smile fondly at her lazy speech and I belatedly add her as another reason for me to stay. Someone should be there to watch over her, after all. And it definitely shouldn't be Hikigaya-kun.

"Anyway, Isshiki-san. I wasn't calling to talk gossip with you. There's something I'd like to ask."

"Oh, sure! I'll do anything to help you Yukinoshita-senpai! You can totally rely on me for the small stuff!"

"That's not very reassuring." I grumble. "Well, it is something small..."

"Alright! What can I do for you Yukinoshita-senpai?"

"I need Hayama-kun's number."

There was a poignant pause on the other end. "Why?"

"It's nothing serious Isshiki-san. There's just something I need to ask him."

"Oh, uh, sure..."

"You sound suspicious..."

"Oh, no, no. I'm not Yukinoshita-senpai! It's fine, um. You don't have his number?"

"No, I don't." I answer simply. "Under normal circumstances, I'd have no use for it."

"I-I see... huh? W-wait... why are you asking me and not Yui-senpai?"

I sigh. She wasn't normally this nosy. Maybe I should've called Nee-san. "...because I can't. No need to dig deeper into it, Isshiki-san."

"Huh? You're acting really suspicious Yukinoshita-senpai..."

"Isshiki-san just give me his number." I sigh exasperatedly. "I'm going to call him just this once and ask him about something. It won't be a social call."

"Ah, yeah, of course. I'll message you his number then?"

"Okay, thanks." I hesitate for a second. "Isshiki-san?"

"Yes?"

"You..." I stop, was I overstepping my bounds? She is one of my friends, after all. Or at least I think she is. No, at this point, she should be. And I care for her more than I care for his privacy. So...

"...you should forget about Hayama-kun."

There was a silence on the other end. And it lasted long enough that I had to check my phone if she was still there.

"Ehh!? Wh-wha-what's this about?"

I flinch and put the phone away from my ear.

"My advice." I answer as I place the phone back carefully by my ear. "It's up to you if you want to listen or not."

"Errmm. W-why now?" She answers after a second. "Y-you didn't say much about these things before."

"Yes, you're right. But things change." I pause for a moment to think. "People change. Hayama-kun might be farther away from you than you thought."

"H-huh? Yukinoshita-senpai, did I do something bad to you just recently? A-are you mad at me or something?" Her voice trembles as she speaks and I start to feel slightly annoyed.

"No, I'm not mad at you." I sigh tiredly. "Just think about it, okay?"

"Ugh, f-fine."

"Oh, and Hikigaya-kun is off limits too." I add. I couldn't help it.

"Ehhhh?"

I smile as she continues to splutter. "And I'm serious this time, Isshiki-san."

"Wh-what's with you all of a sudden? What's happening!? Is there something I need to know!?"

I laugh lightly. "Send me his contact information, okay?"

"Eh!? Eh!?"

I end the call cheerfully. I was feeling a little guilty, but only just. It would be good for her to be on the receiving end every once in a while.

I receive Isshiki-san's message a minute later. I then call the number.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 **AN**

Soooo... I didn't make it in time. I failed to keep my self-imposed deadline. Again. orz

Holiday celebrations lasted longer than I thought. And I also landed a new job, a writing one (yey?). Unfortunately, every time I finish a work load and open my fic chaps, my brain is too flooded with BS I write at work and I'm like wuuuuuut.

So, I think I'm going to have to get a beta reader. I was on the fence about it at first. Since I make a lot of good changes every time I edit. But with my new job using up all my time and brain energy, I think it'd be faster if I get one. Someone sent me an email applying for the post once, so if you're still interested pm me? And I'd welcome a msg from others who might be interested too.

One other reason why I couldn't upload this chap earlier is because I had written another scene after the phone call. But I wasn't happy with it so I kept on editing it. But it's been too long without me updating so I decided I'd expand on it and use it on ch13 instead. So that's that.

Thanks as always for the reviews and pms! And I'm sorry if I made some of you worry. I know I said I'd be done by the 3rd. But RL stuff got in the way and I just didn't have enough time to work on the fic. But don't worry! Like I said in the prev chap. I did write an outline. So all I need is time. Really. I'll try to squeeze out as much of it as I can for this fic.

Anyway, see ya guys next chap!

Oh, and Happy New Year to everyone!


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